


One Of Those Moments

by Mamabear_writing



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellamy is in idiot, Charactor Death, Echo is a bitch, Echo is controlling, F/F, F/M, Hurt Clarke, I suck at tagging, Jealous Bellamy, Jealous Clarke, Pining, minor smut, pregnancy eventually, slow burn maybe?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 05:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 71,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17420096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mamabear_writing/pseuds/Mamabear_writing
Summary: Everyone gets a soulmark on their 20th birthday.But what happens when your soulmate is your best friend and they’ve been in love with someone else for 3 years?I suck at summaries. It might be good.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. Ever. It might be good. It might not be. Let me know what you think.

Everyone is born with a soulmark and on rare occasions, if you’re lucky enough, you might get two. The person you share these marks with will be your absolute best friend, someone who will understand you better than anyone else ever could. On your 20th birthday, you’ll get another kind of soulmark, your soulmate, your heart.

No one knows how or why this happens, it just does. For decades every scientist, every doctor, and every curious mind out there has given it their go at trying to figure it out. There are a few places that’ll remove any of your marks after your turn 25, no questions asked. They know that sometimes things just happen and soulmates don't always stay together.

Clarke Griffin was one of the lucky individuals to be born with two soulmarks. Her right pinky was home to a grey sword with a hint of blue that spanned from the tip of her finger to the base that connected to her hand and over her heart was a beautiful red rose that looked slightly faded.

Almost all soulmarkes were black or grey. It was a rare occurrence that one had any color, but when they did it was said to be a bond that would never be broken. When the person who shared your mark died your own mark literally went up in flames leaving tender raw flesh in its place. A scar that you will always carry with you, emotionally and quite literally.

When Clarke was six she found her first soulmark on the wrist of the brown-headed girl who had just punched the boy that was picking on her. Clarke and Octavia became inseparable after that day, even with Clarke being a year older. Bellamy, Octavia’s older brother by two years, became part of their trio by default. Mostly because, even though he was only a year older than Clarke, he was the one who always watched them since their mother worked at a diner in town, frequently working doubles just to be able to make ends meet. If they needed anything while she was gone, they knew to go to the lady next door.

Clarke spent most of her time with the Blake siblings and was usually found walking home with them after school. Abby Griffin, Clarke’s mother, was the chief of surgery at Mount Weather and that meant she was rarely home. Clarke couldn’t even remember the last time she had seen her mother for aside from watching her back as she walked out the door, much less say anything to her. Jake Griffin, her father, was an incredibly talented and well-known engineer. People would come from all over the world to ask and even beg for help with something they were working on. Needless to say, her parents weren't around much.

Now Callie, who had been her nanny since the day she was born seven years ago, was having her own child and chose to be a stay at home mom for a while. So for the past week, Clarke had watched her father interview countless people to be her new nanny, none of which measured up to her favorite nanny.

“I hate them all. They’ll never be nanny Callie.” Clarke grumbled as she threw herself onto the old beat up couch in their living room.

“That’s okay, Clarke! You can just live with us, right Bell?” Octavia pouted at her brother who was casually leaning against the armrest beside Clarke’s head.

“Octavia, that’s not our decision. I’d love for her to stay here, but I don’t think mom can afford it.”

Clarke tried to reassure them that she may not like it, but she would be fine with whoever her father inevitably chose. She would eventually get over her distaste because they weren't who she wanted them to be. This, however, did nothing to pacify her best friend who had already gone running to their mother, Aurora, with tears streaming down her face.

In an attempt to stop the young girl's tears, Aurora called Jake and asked about babysitting. He was more than happy with the opportunity to keep Clarke with people she was already familiar with and willing to pay enough for her to quit her job at the diner and still make more than she needed to pay all their bills and groceries. "pocket change" he had called it. From that point on Clarke was rarely away from the Blake house or the members of the family.

The year Bellamy went to sixth grade in a whole other building was difficult for the girls, but nowhere near as bad as the next year when Clarke followed him. Octavia cried every morning for the first month that they were at a separate school. When all three were finally in middle school together, they added a few more friends to their group. Monty and Jasper were shared a soulmark and were every bit as inseparable as Clarke and Octavia. Maya always tagged along with Jasper since they were neighbors, Harper shared a soulmark with Maya and was part of the package deal. Then there was Murphy who was always closer to Bellamy than any of the others, but Clarke always felt a connection with him even if they didn’t talk much. Finn switched to their school in 8th grade, following Clarke everywhere.

“I don’t like him.” Bellamy murmured to his sister as they watched the two from a short distance away. Cutting her eyes up at him she let out a laugh. “You’re just jealous because you’re in love with Clarke.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just ready to start summer vacation and they’re delaying it.” Octavia sighed at him almost like she didn’t believe him, which she didn't.

When Clarke and Finn began dating that summer, it pulled her away from the Blake siblings once or twice a week. While they were happy for her, it was a territory they were unfamiliar with. Only going home on the first of every month to have a family dinner, Clarke basically lived in Octavia's room with her. That summer Aurora moved them into a bigger house that she was able to buy with four bedrooms, huge backyard with an in-ground pool, spacious kitchen, dining room, living room, and a garage. It felt strange to Clarke to have her own bedroom in a house that wasn’t actually hers. Her parents had given her a credit card for everything she would need so she used it to buy a bed, a desk, and anything else to fill her room.

It was tough again when Bellamy started high school and left Clarke and Octavia in middle, but it was a disaster when Clarke started and Octavia was left behind again. Once the younger Blake started her freshman year, she dominated the school with her attitude and charm. As it turned out she was really good at soccer and joined the team. Bellamy also found out things he was good at, mostly charming the pants off girls, literally. It wasn't long before he started dating Gina, a girl on the soccer team, much to Octavia's disgust.

“I hate her so much!” Octavia burst into Clarke’s room still wearing her uniform, grass stains and all.

“What did she do this time?” Clarke never glanced away from her book but knew who her best friend was talking about.

“She’s such a bitch, especially to me during practice. I could wipe her ass across the field! And she’s never nice to you! All because she’s jealous and thinks Bell is in love with you.” Something Octavia thought as well.

“Bellamy isn’t in love with me.” The blonde sighed.

“Seriously? That’s the only thing you took away from all of that?”

Now Clarke looked at Octavia, pacing back and forth. “What? It’s the only thing you said that isn’t true. They have nothing in common and once he realizes that all of her nagging and general bitchiness isn’t worth getting his dick wet for then they’ll break up.”

Octavia stared at her for a minute before turning in her heel while yelling “gross” over her shoulder and slamming the door behind her. Of course, Clarke had been right. Three months later they’d broken up after a rather loud argument in the backyard.

The day Octavia had gotten her first boyfriend was not a good day to be around the siblings, but Clarke stuck it out. Bellamy cornered Atom in the locker room and scared the poor boy half to death, but that still wasn't as scary as when Octavia got home from soccer practice and all hell broke loose.

When Clarke turned 16 and her parents completely forgot her birthday, Finn was there. He was sweet, charming and made her laugh so when his hands traveled further than normal she didn't stop him. It didn’t last long or feel particularly great and the kisses were sloppier than usual. Losing her virginity didn’t make her feel any different like she thought it would.

Close to the end of the year, Finn’s girlfriend of four years and childhood best friend transferred to their school. It was the first time Clarke experienced having her heart broken, but told Finn it was over. She went home and cried into her pillow while Octavia rubbed circles into her back and continuously handed her tissues. Bellamy was gone, probably on a date with the new tease of the month.

The next day Finn showed up at school with a black eye and she knew where Bellamy had been the night before. A week later she was partnered with Raven in chemistry and it was amazing. Raven was great, incredibly smart, and easy to like. By the end of the year Raven had been integrated into the group, but that, unfortunately, meant Finn was as well. No one was nice to the boy, especially Murphy, who had actually gone with Bellamy when Finn received his black eye.

Bellamy and Murphy's graduation was big and he could only get two tickets each. So the whole gang wasn’t able to get a seat, but they were outside waiting. Inside Bellamy and Murphy had the loudest cheering section between Octavia and Clarke alone. They celebrated with music, food, and a bonfire. It was also a possibility that Monty and Jasper brought some homemade alcohol with them.

That night with Bellamy and Octavia singing some off-key karaoke, lit up by the bonfire as they pulled Clarke up there with them. It was in that moment she realized just how much she was in love with the boy with dark curls and freckled constellations across his cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Clarke had been helping Octavia plan her 15 birthday party for months, right down to the perfect bikini. Originally, they had planned for her party to be at Clarke's family beach house an hour away, but the oldest person that would be there was Bellamy and Murphy and they weren't even considered adults yet. None of the parents were entirely comfortable with that idea, so they had to settle for the backyard pool party. Clarke strung Murphy along to help pick out decorations and her own bikini while Bellamy mowed the yard and Octavia spent the day with her mother. Murphy stayed over the night before the party so he could help Clarke cook that morning, something he was, surprisingly, pretty amazing at.

Monty, Jasper, Harper, and Maya showed up early to offer their help in setting things up. Monroe and Miller weren't too far behind them followed by Raven and Finn. Roan, who was never on time for anything, was the last to show up after the party had already begun. Clarke, feeling bad about him missing the party, sent Murphy on out since she was almost done. She had been so busy trying to make sure everything was perfect, she hadn't even had the chance to change into her bikini.

Going from mosquito bites to a DD cup, Clarke had developed quite a bit since the last time she had worn a semi-revealing swimsuit last year. In an attempt to capture Bellamy's attention during this party, she had bought a two-piece neon pink bikini that barely left anything to the imagination. With her tan, Clarke knew exactly how she looked and she had every intention of flaunting it today.

"Does my brother know you have that rose?" Clarke jumped at Octavia's voice. Turning away from the mirror,  she found the dark haired girl already in her swimsuit leaning against the door waiting for her.

Confused, Clarke shook her head. "Why would he?" Octavia simply shrugged her shoulders in that typical teenager way before walking off leaving a faint "hurry" lingering in the air.

When Clarke's eyes landed on Bellamy, she knew it was going to be difficult not to stare all day at him. Sure, she had seen the guy without a shirt on before and it was nice, but like her, he had recently filled out a bit more. Bellamy wasn't the same gangly 16 year old he was the previous summer.

No, this Bellamy was hot. He had taken to working out as a way to build stamina for football season and it definitely had other outcomes that Clarke couldn't complain about. The skin on his stomach was pulled tight over the abs that had formed. His arms were no longer lanky, but well-defined limbs that flexed when he moved, even if he wasn't lifting anything. He was thick, to say the least.

There was a possibility that her favorite thing was his ass. Cliche? Probably. It bubbled out in the way that made you want to slide your hand over it, grab, and squeeze.  With that thinking, it took a lot of will power for her to not do either of those things that very moment.

As soon as she walked out she gained the incredibly unwanted attention of Finn who immediately left his conversation and walked towards her. Turning in the opposite direction she tried walking away before she felt his hand wrap around her wrist. "You look really hot in that."

The uncomfortable pit in her stomach grew at the sound of his voice. She gave him a polite nod and again tried to walk away, but he tightened his grip and spun her back around. "Why don't we go inside and talk? I love you, Clarke. I miss you and I miss us. I want you back."

Once again she tried to pull her arm away, but he was still stronger than her. "No! Now let go of me!" His hand still didn't loosen up any. Finn tightened his grip and tried pulling her back into the house. "Come on Clarke! You know how much I-"

"She said to let her go." Bellamy was at her side with his hand on the small of her back instantly comforting her.

"This is none of your business, Blake." Finn growled, still attempting to pull her away from Bellamy.

"Finn sto-" Before Clarke got the chance to finish her sentence she was free of Finn's grasp and he was on the ground with blood trickling out of his nose.

She could see Raven and everyone else heading their way as Bellamy put his arm around her shoulders and she melted into his warm embrace. "Are you okay, Princess?" The concern dripping from his voice.

Clarke nodded. "Thank you for pulling me away from him." Bellamy stopped and turned her around to face him putting a hand on each of her shoulders. "I will always protect yo-" His gaze fell down to her chest, eyes widening.

Clarke pushed him back a little letting his hands fall. "And apparently stare at my boobs. " Which she had to admit was exactly what she wanted to happen so she wasn't really upset. When Bellamy continued to stare with his eyes wide and mouth open not saying anything she started to feel a little self-conscience. Clarke folded her arms over her chest but it did nothing to ease the feeling.

"Why did my brother punch Finn, again?" Octavia questioned appearing at her side. "And why is he staring at your tits?" She snapped her fingers in Bellamy's face.

This caught his attention. Glancing up at the girls in front of him he ran his hand through the curls at the nape of his neck and began apologizing. "Clarke, why didn't you ever tell me? It makes so much sense."

"I'm confused. Why didn't I tell you what?" Octavia laughed beside her causing her to glance between the siblings. Bellamy didn't say anything he simply pulled one side of the waistband of his shorts down to reveal a faded red rose.

"HOLY SHIT!" Clarke choked out running her fingers over his soulmark. "You're - I'm - we - how have I never seen this before?" She met his dark brown eyes.

"Same reason I have never seen your mark, Princess. We don't usually make it a habit of undressing in front of each other."

Before they could talk about it anymore Raven marched up shoving Bellamy. "Do you make it a habit of just walking up and punching people or is that just special treatment for my boyfriend?" She yelled.

Clarke stepped in between Bellamy and the angry brunette. "Raven there is a lot that you don't know and a lot that you really should ask Finn about. Bell only punched him because he wouldn't let go of me and was trying to drag me inside." She held up her already bruising wrist to show her Finn's finger marks.

Bellamy growled as he grabbed her wrist to examine the bruising while Raven's eyes narrowed with anger. "FINN COLLINS!" Raven yelled spinning on her heel to glare at the boy in question as he slowly made his way over. "Why the hell does Clarke have bruises that I am fairly certain would line up with your fingers?"

Finn's eyes flash from Raven to Clarke's hand in Bellamy's grasp to Bellamy's face and back to Raven. "How do you know that Bellamy didn't hurt her? He's an asshole like that. Just look at the blood coming out of my nose."

That is all it took for Bellamy to reach his breaking point. "Me? ME?! I would never hurt Clarke! Do you want to see how much of an asshole I can be while I am smashing your face in?" Bellamy stepped toward the wide-eyed boy, but Clarke jumped in front of Bellamy sliding her hands to his chest to push against him. "Bell, don't. Please. Look at me. " After a few more seconds of him glaring at Finn, he finally met her diamond blue eyes. "I'm fine, Bell. I'm fine."

However, Finn couldn't quit sticking his foot into his mouth. "Why would I hurt Clarke? I'm in love with her!" He had barely finished speaking when he froze realizing what he has just said. Clarke stepped closer to Bellamy wanting him to swallow her up and keep her safe.

"I'm sorry. What did you just say?"

The hurt in Raven's tone brought tears to Clarke's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Raven! I didn't know. I didn't know about you. As soon as I found out I broke up with him. I was going to tell you, but I didn't want to hurt you and then we became friends and I was scared you would hate me."

Raven looked for some answer on her face. "When?"

Clarke tucked herself in closer to Bellamy before meeting Raven's stare. "The summer after 8th grade a few weeks after he moved here. I broke up with him when you transferred here and I found out who you were."

"Did you sleep together?"

Clarke's tears started rolling again. "Yes. It was my birthday and my parents had forgotten. He had been asking for a few months so I gave in that night."

Bellamy, hearing this for the first time, tensed up. Before his thoughts of punching Finn again could go any further Raven beat him to it. "Get out of here Finn or I will do it again."

Raven broke up with Finn, who now actively avoided every one of them. Bellamy and Clarke finally had a conversation about their soulmarks, both agreeing that it was perfect and made so much sense.

The trio spent the rest of the summer doing everything together. Going to the beach house Clarke's parents owned, going camping, and going to amusement parks. It's that summer on the beach laying next to Clarke under the stars while she listened to his stories about Gods and Goddesses that he realized just how in love with her he was.

At the end of the summer, before Bellamy and Murphy left for college eight hours away, they had a going away party. Monty and Jasper showed up with six bottles full of their homemade moonshine and Bellamy may have had a bit too much. The last thing he remembered that night was talking to Clarke on the front porch swing and wishing he could kiss her. He woke up the next morning with a killer hangover, regret for not telling Clarke how he felt before now, the same Clarke who wouldn't even meet his gaze now.

Clarke missed him before he was even out of her sight. They still text every day and talked before bed every night, but it was still hard with him being so far away. The fear that something would change between them still clung to her every thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have previously read the first two chapters you should probably read them again before reading this chapter. I've added a few things to each.

Senior year was supposed to be fun and exciting and for the most part, it was. It was their first year in school without Bellamy or Murphy being nearby and all the boys they had been scaring off over the years lined up at their feet now. When Wells, a boy in her team sports class, asked her out, she politely declined because she couldn't stop thinking about Bellamy and the night before he left for college. Octavia, on the other hand, had no problem accepting dates and soon was in a relationship with Atom, the captain of the basketball team.

When Octavia wasn't with her boyfriend, Clarke would talk her into going to football games and other school events to hang out with their friends. On the night that Octavia was with Atom, Clarke and Aurora piled up on the couch and had movie marathons. Senior year was going great with her parents becoming a little more active in her life, even bonding over her love of medicine and science.

 

________________

 

On the first day of Thanksgiving break, Clarke woke up to the sound of someone rapidly knocking on her bedroom door. Squinting at the clock on her bedside table, she could barely make out "8:20" in big red numbers. Groaning she rolled back over and pretended she was still asleep, hoping whoever it was would just go away. Two more knocks and she still refused to acknowledge them.

"Hey, Princess."

Her eyes flung open as she bolted up. "Bellamy? Bell!" With her legs tangled in the sheets, she landed face first on the floor between her bed and the door.

"Shit! Clarke, are you okay?"

Completely unfazed, Clarke was already back on her feet colliding into his chest with her arms around his neck. Instantly his arms went to embrace her as tight as he could. She could feel the tears building in her eyes. "You're home! God, I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Clarke. You have no idea.” Bellamy whispered as he kissed the top of her head.

He spent every minute with the three most important women in his life. He listened to Clarke talk about her art project and Octavia's story of how she dumped Atom for trying to pull a John Tucker on her, whatever that meant.  He helped his mother in the kitchen with all of the cooking and cleaning. Unfortunately, he had to leave the day after Thanksgiving, promising to stay longer during Christmas.

In the weeks that flew by, Octavia used Clarke's old tests to study for her finals while Clarke herself has her nose in a book most of the time. As ready as they felt for their finals, the thought of failure planted seeds of doubt and anxiety. Passing these finals meant that Clarke only had a half a school year left before graduation.

Christmas had always been their favorite time of the year and their favorite holiday. The snow leaving a fine blanket of white on everything was all the inspiration Clarke needed to get lost in the pages of her sketchbook for hours. Often times, Bellamy would even have to remind her to eat.

Every year, the three of them would go all out with decorating, it usually looked like Christmas threw up all over their house. The Christmas tree always came from the tree farm not far from where they lived and they'd take turns picking it out. This year it was Aurora's turn to choose. That wasn't the only tradition they seemed to follow for Christmas. Every year they'd each make a new ornament, watch a Christmas movie every single night, and make hot chocolate with homemade pizza. None held a candle to Bellamy's hot chocolate, he always added something extra but never told them what it was.

"It's not the same!" Octavia complained as she sat her cup full of the distasteful hot chocolate if you could even call it that, back on the table in front of her.

Clarke sighed."I know it's not, but hopefully, he will be home soon and we can make those days count." She patted the younger Blake's leg as she rested her head on Clarke's shoulder.

"I miss Bell. I wish he hadn't gone so far away."

Clarke ran her fingers through her best friends hair to comfort her. "Me too, O, but that was his choice and we have to respect that."

 

________________________

 

"He should be here soon!" Clarke told Octavia as she herself looked out the window for the tenth time in the last five minutes. Clapping her hands together she stood up and pulled Octavia towards the kitchen. "Come on, let's go make sure we have everything we need for dinner tonight."

After looking through the kitchen for a good ten minutes and checking the time every 45 seconds, they made their way back into the living room. The door flew open just as they were about to sit back down and wait from Bellamy to come home.

"Princess! O!" Bellamy barely had enough time to drop his bags before both of them were slamming into him. It wasn't until they pulled back that the realization that there was another girl standing in the doorway just behind him holding a bag.

"Who are you?" Octavia gave her a rather unkind look.

"O! Manners!" Clarke nudged her although she was wondering the same thing.

"Echo, this is Octavia, my sister, and Clarke, my best friend. And this," he grabs the new girls hand, "is Echo, my girlfriend."

All three girls began talking at the same time.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Octavia blinked at her brother.

Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing. She felt like all the air in her lungs were suddenly knocked out of her. "G-Girlfriend?"

"Clarke? I thought Clarke was a dude! Not a girl." Echo seemed more than a little displeased with this information.

Bellamy looked back to Echo confused. "A guy? No, You knew Clarke was a girl when you asked about the pictures of her."

Octavia didn't give Echo time to reply before moving on to the next question. "When did this happen? How long Bell?"

"We started dating about two weeks after classes started. So around four months, I guess."

"Four months?! And you couldn't find the time to tell me that you not only have a girlfriend, but you're bringing her home for three weeks during Christmas? Did you at least tell Clarke?"

"No." they both said in unison.

Bellamy looked at Echo then back to the two pair of eyes staring at him. "And we're not staying for three weeks."

Clarke's eyes hardened at his words. "You're not? You promised when you left after Thanksgiving! You promised, Bellamy!"

"I know I did, but we're going to leave on Christmas Eve. Echo wants to be at her parents on Christmas morning." He hesitantly told her.

Clarke turned and flew up the stairs faintly hearing Octavia's angry words. "So let her go spend Christmas with them! You promised us."

Clarke slammed the door behind her like it could make her feel better. After pacing her room for a few minutes and trying to catch her breath she decided she had to get out of there for a while or she would suffocate. She stomped over to her closet and quickly changed out of her pajamas into something a little more appropriate for the freezing weather. With her purse already slung over her shoulder, Clarke made her way back down the stairs and reached for keys that were hanging a few feet away from the man she desperately needed some distance from.

"Clarke? You're leaving? I just got here." Bellamy pouted, his bottom lip slightly poking out.

"Clarke." Octavia sighed from behind her.

"Yeah, uh, I forgot Roan asked for my help with something."

"Roan? Since when do you hang out with Roan?" Bellamy eyed her skeptically. "Plus we're making dinner tonight and you know it takes all three of us for that."

"Well, things can change over a few months, Bellamy. And I think you will be just fine without my help.  I'm sure your girlfriend would love to help you cook." With that, she slipped past him out the door. Ignoring her name being called, Clarke slid into her car and drove off.

It was just before one in the morning when Clarke pulled back up at the Blake house, her house. It had been well over 12 hours since she had run out and she still didn't want to see Bellamy's face. Clarke knew that her parents would be gone on their yearly vacation and she'd have the whole house to herself to hide out in.

Bellamy had been texting her all damn day and even called her a few times. She knew he was worried, be only said so in every other text, but still, she refused to reply to him. He had finally quit blowing her phone up just after ten. It probably meant that he was asleep, but she still gave it a few more hours to be positive that no one would be awake when she got back home. 

After quietly shutting the door behind her and hanging her keys back in the hook, Clarke walked into the kitchen to find the sink completely full of dishes.  _ Of course _ , she thought  _ how did they go through this many dishes in one fucking day? _ Rolling her eyes, she quickly washed them and cleaned out the sink before making sure the rest of the room wasn't a disaster.  _ At least someone took the trash out _ . With one more glance around, Clarke noticed a note taped to the microwave, it was definitely Bellamy's handwriting. 

 

_ Hey princess,  _

 

_        I left you a plate of food in here. Somehow I doubt you've eaten anything today so please eat something before you go to bed.  _

 

_ Love, _

_   Bellamy.  _

  
  


She had had a long day and just wanted to go to her room to peel off the clothes she was wearing. A steaming bath with some lavender essential oil sounded like the perfect remedy for her incredibly tense body. So that's exactly what she did, right after eating every bite on that damn plate.

Of course, Bellamy would have a girlfriend, a hot one too. Echo was the complete opposite of her. Clarke was short with long blonde waves and deep blue eyes. She also wasn't ashamed to admit that she preferred burgers over a salad and her body had some pudge to it. Echo, on the other hand, towered over her with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. She also had the body of a porn star, not a pinch of flab on her and that included her breasts as well.  _ Not sure what he grabs a hold of,  _ Clarke chuckled to herself.

She knew she had never been his type, but it still sucked to see it first hand. What hurt the most was the fact that they had been best friends for 11 years and he still didn't tell her that he had a girlfriend four months ago. Whatever had happened between them in the past wasn't important, Bellamy didn't feel the same way she did. She'd just have to work hard at getting over this silly little crush.

For now, Clarke allowed herself a moment of weakness and cried over the boy with curly brown hair, her tears getting lost in the shower stream. When she was done, Clarke got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her dripping body, and crawled into bed. Who cares if the sheets get wet?

She was just beginning to doze off when a knock at the door startled her. Keeping as quiet as she could, Clarke hoped whoever it was would just walk away. Another, slightly harder, knock broke the silence. Once again, Clarke didn't say anything hoping they'd think she was asleep.

"Clarke?"

Her eyes shot open and stared at the door separating them. There was no way in hell she could face him yet, not after ignoring him all day. Closing her eyes, she pulled the comforter up to her chin and slunk into the pillows a little more. If Bellamy decided to open the door and check he would hopefully assume she's asleep and walk back out. One more knock and the door slowly opened, letting a sliver of light from the hallway illuminated her face. She tried to control her breathing as she heard his footsteps getting closer to her bed.

"Clarke." He sighed, looking down at her face. Still, she refused to move a muscle. "I know you're not asleep, Princess. You never fall asleep on your right side, so would you please look at me."

Clarke rolled over and put her back to him. "Go away, Bellamy."

"No, I need to talk to you."

"Why? What do you want?"

"Look at me, Princess."

Clarke rolled back over so she could see him wearing pajama pants that rode low enough to see the formation of the v everyone talked about and no shirt showing off his spectacularly hardened stomach. It was all enough to cause her heart to speed up. She scooted away from him to put some distance between them, but it backfired when he took it as an invitation to lay down beside her.

She groaned. "What?"

"Where were you?" He looked focused on her face.

"I told you already."

"No, you lied to me. I called Roan when you wouldn't answer. Octavia told me to just give you a little time. So twelve hours later I'm asking you why you lied to me. We don't lie to each other. We never have." He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away before he could touch her. A flash of hurt went across his face before he masked it into nothing.

"If I tell you will you go back to your girlfriend and let me get some sleep?" She pinched the bridge of her nose.

He stared at her a minute thinking about his options. "Fine."

"I'm your best friend and you didn't even tell me that you had a girlfriend. One that you've had for four months and felt it was serious enough to bring her home and to miss Christmas with us. Christmas is OUR holiday  She sees you every day up there, we have only seen you a few days in the last four months. I talk to you every night and you didn't even mention her. It hurt. So with my parents gone right now I stayed over there for a while."

"Clarke." She knew what she said had hit him hard. She could hear it in the way he said her name.

"No, Bellamy."

"Princess." An ache rippled in her chest at his broken voice.

"Bellamy, no! You said if I told you that you would leave me alone and let me sleep. Now go!"

"Fine." He growled, sliding off the bed. She knew he still wanted to talk about it, but she just couldn't. She heard him slam her door then his but was asleep before she had too long to think about it any more.

Clarke may have fallen asleep without difficulty, but that didn't last long. After tossing and turning half of the night, unable to get the hurt expression in Bellamy's face out of her mind, she watched as the rising sunlight began streaming through her window and setting everything in a soft glow. It wasn't long before the screaming started, Octavia was definitely pissed about something.

With a heavy sigh, Clarke climbed out of bed and threw the towel she still had wrapped around her body into the hamper by the dresser before walking over to her closet. She grabbed a sunflower tank top and slipped into her favorite yoga shorts. Passing the full-length mirror attached to the wall, she quickly pulled the bird's nest on top of her head into a messy bun.

She found Octavia and Echo in the kitchen already at each other's throats with no sign of Bellamy. She was far too tired to be put in the middle of whatever they were fighting about. Instead, she made a beeline for the life savings aroma on the other side of the kitchen. After pouring herself a steaming cup of coffee, Clarke opened the refrigerator and froze.

"Where the hell is my creamer?"

"Well," Octavia crossed her arms and looked over her shoulder. "Bell left to go to the market down the road to get you some more because high and mighty bitch over here decided to use it all."

"You have got to be joking, it was almost a full container yesterday." Clarke groaned and poured the coffee back into the pot. "Is that what all of this yelling so early in the morning is about?"

"Not exactly." Octavia continued. "Echo seems to think we shouldn't be upset about Bellamy skipping out on our Christmas." Clarke's head shot up at this news. She found herself staring at the woman on the other side of the island. Octavia was still too busy glaring at her to notice. "She also doesn't understand why we are."

There wasn't an ounce of hesitation in Clarke's answer. "Because we're his family."

Now it was Echo's who chose to glare at her. "No, Octavia is his sister, she's family. You? You're just the sad girl whose parents didn't love her enough."

Beside her, Octavia gasped. However, Clarke walked right up to Echo. "You have no idea what you are talking about."

At this Echo laughed. "No? Bell has told me all about your mom being a surgeon and your father the engineer. Both who were too busy with their lives to love their own daughter so they paid someone else to do it for them because they had better things to do."

Tears sprang into her eyes and before she knew what she was doing, she had already punched Echo knocking her to the floor. Bellamy walked through the door just in time to see Echo go down.

"Clarke! What the hell are you doing?" Octavia grabbed Clarke's arm and pulled her back a little as Bellamy pushed past her. Looking back at Clarke he could see the tears in her eyes but it didn't stop him. "Stay away from Echo and stay away from me. "

"Fuck you, Bellamy!" With tears in her eyes, Clarke ran out of the house for the second time in just as many days.

She drove around for a while before going to her parent's house again. She was old enough now where she hadn't been when she was seven. Maybe it was time for her to come home.

After a while, Bellamy started calling and texting her again just like yesterday. Tired of her phone going off she shut the thing off and threw it onto the floor. She spent a little more time thinking her plan through before grabbing her keys and driving back.

Bellamy was already opening the door when she got to it. Making sure not to touch him she edged by. He reached out in an attempt to catch her arm, but she was faster and dodged around it. "You wouldn't answer my calls."

She didn't even look back at him as she headed for the stairs. "Nope, I cut it off after the eighth time you called."

Not only did Bellamy follow her, but Octavia as well. When they reached her room she went straight to her closet and pulled some luggage bags out and began throwing clothes in them.

"Clarke?" Octavia was confused. "What are you doing?"

"Princess, why are you packing clothes?"

At the nickname, Clarke jerked around. "Do NOT call me princess. Fuck you, Bellamy. I'm moving back home. Since your mom got a job working with my dad she makes enough to not need me here and I don't need a babysitter like I did when I was seven."

He went to step towards her, but she took a step back as well. "Pri-Clarke. You can't move out. This is your home, your family."

It was her turn to laugh at his statement. "Ha. No. Octavia is your family. I'm a sad girl whose parents didn't love her. Isn't that what you told your girlfriend? Since you felt the need to tell her about my life and my parents at all." She had tears streaming down her face now. "You want me to stay away from you and her? Fine. Done. She can be your best friend now."

Octavia embraced her best friend in a hug. "Don't move out. Please don't leave me. We can avoid Bellamy and miss high and mighty." Turning to her brother. "Why don't you go ahead and go to her family's place. We are fine without you. Just know if Echo ever talks to Clarke the way she did today it won't be Clarke that hits her and I won't stop at one punch."

Bellamy turned to leave, but stopped and looked back. "Clarke, please -."

"Just go Bellamy." His sister turned her ice-cold glare on him.

They could hear him out in the hall telling Echo to pack her stuff and they were leaving early. It wasn't long before they heard the front door slam and his car drive away. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter guys, but it just makes more sense to end the chapter here.

The rest of December flew by and then New Years. Before they knew it the second half of the school year was well on the way. Bellamy tried calling and texting, but not one time did she answer. On the weekends Bellamy started coming home to try and talk to Clarke, but she was always gone to someone else's house and everyone said she wasn't with them. She didn't text him on Valentine's day or his birthday. There was no April fools joke. She didn't reply to his happy birthday text to her. He wasn't going to give up though. Clarke was his best friend. They shared a soulmark. Not just any soulmark either, but one filled with color. The rare kind. That meant something. He just had to find a way to talk to her.

In May he decided to tell his professors he was sick all week and headed home. There was no way she could avoid him if she didn't know he was coming and definitely not for a whole week. Monday afternoon when Bellamy walked through the door he found Octavia lounging on the couch with _To Kill A Mockingbird_ open.

"Hey, Octavia. Is Clarke here?"

Cutting her eyes over to him and closing her book she sat up. "No Bell, she went with mom and Jake to a convention thing a couple of hours away."  
"You have got to be kidding me! She didn't even know I was coming!" He threw his bag down out of frustration. "Wait, why didn't you seem surprised to see me? Did they just leave you by yourself?"

Rolling her eyes at him she walked into the kitchen. "No, we were going to go stay with Raven, but then Murphy called Clarke and told her you were coming to do a surprise visit. Since you were going to be here I decided to just stay home and she decided to go with mom and Jake."

"Murphy? Since when do Clarke and Murphy talk?"

Now she laughed. "A lot actually. That's usually who she hangs out with while you're here on the weekends."

He eyed her incredulously. "No, I can't see that. Murphy knows how much I want to fix things with Clarke."

"Bell, the last time you saw Clarke you screwed up royally. Your girlfriend said some really hurtful things to her and you took Echo's side. A girl you had known for five months over Clarke. Your best friend and someone you have known since you were seven years old. " She held a hand up to silence his coming protests. " I know you said you talked to her about it, but that doesn't make it right. You shouldn't have told her to begin with. You know how sensitive that subject is to Clarke. When Murphy found out what happened he took a few days and stayed with her here. He actually made her Christmas really good. He took her to that big Christmas light garden that you were supposed to take her to. And they talked all day. He has been really good for her, Bell. He even got her into a hot air balloon and you know how scared she is of heights. Now once a month they go rock climbing at that one center too. You hurt her pretty badly. Now you have to live with the consequences of that."

He watched as Octavia poured herself some Orange juice. "Is he in love with her?" Not sure why he asked he turned and made his way back to the couch.

"Ya know, I wonder that myself. He's different with her. Less hostile. Gentle even." She plopped down beside him throwing her feet into his lap.

Knowing he probably didn't want to hear the answer he asked the next question anyway. "Is she in love with him?"

Octavia debated on lying to her brother but decided it was probably best not to. "I think she could be eventually. She tries not to let herself feel emotions like that knowing when they're twenty they'll both get a soulmark and they most likely won't be the same. She doesn't want to get close to someone like that and then have separate soulmates."

"What do I do, O? How do I get her to talk to me? I miss her so much." His head fell into his hands. His sister shifted beside him and then she was wrapping her arms around him in a sideways hug. "I don't know big brother. Apologize for starters. She will be back on Wednesday."

That night he and his sister had a movie night both falling asleep on the couch. He spent Tuesday studying for his exams that were the following week. So admittedly this wasn't really the best time for him to have come. He fell asleep that night to books and papers scattered all of his bed. He still text Clarke every day even if he knew he would see her sometime that afternoon.

Wednesday morning when he was nearly finished cooking breakfast Octavia shuffled in heading right for the coffee. "Clarke just called. They left an hour and a half ago. She said they should be home by noon." She sat at the table rubbing her eyes.

Two hours and he would see Clarke. As time passed he found himself growing more and more nervous till Echo called begging him to come back to the school.

"Baby I miss you. Please just come back." She was using her whiny voice.

"I will in a few days. Clarke will be home today and I really need to talk to her so I can fix this."

"Bell, why are you so worried about one girl talking to you? Who cares? Are you in love with her or something?"

"No, Echo, I'm not in love with her. She is my best friend. There is a reason we share this rose. I won't just give up on my best friend."

"So? We're both going to get soulmates, but we love each other and if they don't match it wouldn't matter. It's the same thing. Not everyone stays in touch with their soulmark. That is why some people get them removed."

He had been to busy arguing with Echo he hadn't even realized when noon came and went with no one coming home. "Look, I can't do this right now. They were already supposed to be here. I will talk to you later." He was already making his way down the stairs when he hung up. He found his sister napping on the couch.

"Hey O! Wake up!" She didn't respond. "Octavia!" He tried shaking her and nothing happened. "Damn it O! Why do you have to be such a heavy sleeper?" Squatting down he got a good grip on the edge of the couch then suddenly he lifted the back of it and flipped her off the other side successfully waking her up.

"What the hell Bellamy!" She growled from the floor. "That hurt!"

"It's 1:45."

"So? That's a good reason to toss me on my ass??"

"No, O. They were supposed to be home almost two hours ago." He was growing more and more worried as the minutes ticked on.

"Maybe they got stuck in traffic." Octavia answered while sitting up.

"Please O. Just call her and find out. You know she won't answer if I call her. I just have a bad feeling."

"Jesus, okay. When everything is fine you owe me for waking me up!" She then proceeded to call Clarke who's phone went straight to voicemail, then their mom who didn't answer. Finally, she called Jake who also did not answer. "It is okay Bell. I'm sure they'll be home soon."

Bellamy placed himself in the recliner next to the window that looked out into the front yard. Then he paced around the living room for a while. Even Octavia's reassurances were getting fewer and fewer and less convincing. They still weren't home when the clocked chimed eight times.

"Where did they go? I'm going to drive out and see if I can find them. I can't just keep waiting." Bellamy was beyond worried at this point.

"I'll come with you." Octavia got to the door first pulling it open only to be met with a red-eyed Abby. "You two need to come with me." With that, she turned back in the direction of her car.

The siblings shared a look and took off after her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My medical knowledge is slim to none. Some of this may not be entirely correct, but just go with it. Lol.
> 
> I am actually really proud of this chapter and how emotional I think it is!

Bellamy slid into the back seat letting Octavia take the seat in front beside Abby. Once they were on the way he wanted answers.

“Where are we going?” Bellamy asked even though he was pretty sure he already had an idea. Abby had been crying so he knew something bad had happened and was pretty sure they were going to wind up at a hospital somewhere. 

With a heavy sigh, Abby chanced a look at him in the rearview mirror. “Pramheda Memorial in Polis.” 

He was right. The thought made his heartache. Two of the most important women in his life were in that car together. He couldn’t lose them. In the front seat, his sister had already begun crying. He watched as Abby pointed to the glove box. Octavia pulled out some tissues and passed a few back to him even though he was trying his hardest not to cry. 

“What happened? Are they okay?” He found himself once again asking questions that he was afraid to know the answers to. 

Abby took a bit to mull over her answers. “I don’t - I don’t know. Do you know Marcus Kane? He’s the chief of surgery over there and he recognized Clarke. All he told me in the call was that they had been involved in an accident where both cars went off of a small cliff. It was hours before anyone found them. I don’t know the injuries or if any of them are even awake. I’m not even sure how someone found them.” 

The rest of the drive was remotely quiet with the random sniffle from Octavia. They all knew what they would find at the hospital could potentially be horrific, but he hoped that wouldn’t be the case. He tried to remain optimistic that they’d walk in and Jake would make some wisecrack about being late and Aurora would kiss his forehead and tell him how good it was to see him like she always did. Maybe he would finally get the chance to have a conversation with Clarke. An hour and a half and he would find out. 

When they finally arrived Abby was able to use one of the designated surgeon parking spots since she was a fellow chief of surgery. Marcus met them at the door like he promised when Abby had called him on the drive over. Bellamy wrapped an arm around Octavia as they quietly followed the two surgeons winding down various halls. Eventually, they came to a door that was cracked open. 

Marcus went through first. “She had a deep gash on the side of her head, some internal bleeding, and a dislocated shoulder. All in all, she was incredibly lucky.” 

When Bellamy walked through the door his eyes landed on a small figure in the bed with wires coming out of various locations. It wasn’t until he saw the blonde hair sticking out from under the bandage that he realized it was Clarke. Before he knew what was happening his feet had carried him to the side of her bed. Gently he grabbed her hand between his fully enveloping it. “Why isn’t she awake?” 

Abby had already grabbed Clarke’s chart off the foot of the bed and was quietly going over it. “Well, she had a long day today and her body needs time to rest and heal.” 

“She also tried playing doctor when they crashed. She got Jake and Aurora out of the car, used pieces of her shirt to wrap up the wounds she could, and wrote down their BP and heart rate on their arms every now and then. Of course, Abby would have a portable monitor in her husband’s trunk. She did amazing things today.”  Marcus added. 

Abby sighed and placed Clarke’s chart back on the bed. “Marcus why haven’t you told us how Jake and Aurora are doing?”  

At the mention of his mother, Bellamy shifted his eyes to them. “Octavia pull up a chair next to me.” He motioned her over, but never fully let go of Clarke’s hand. 

“Abby, maybe you should sit down.” 

“Just tell me what it is, Marcus.” 

“Okay. Clarke did a really good job of patching his wounds. However, he had a massive brain bleed. We have him on life support, but -“

”That is just so I can say goodbye to my husband.“ Abby finished for him. 

Octavia let go of Bellamy’s hand and wrapped the woman in a hug. “What about our mother?” 

Not for the first time Marcus sighed. “Aurora went into surgery as soon as she arrived. She had a good size chunk of glass sticking out through her abdomen and had lost a lot of blood. We tried as hard as we could, but from the blood loss and internal injuries her heart just couldn’t take it.”

”So she’s - “ Octavia was cut off by a sob escaping. Now it was Abby’s turn to hold the crying girl. “Oh, Octavia. I’m so sorry.”

If Bellamy hadn’t been holding Clarke’s hand he would have thought all of this was a dream or rather a nightmare. Then a realization struck him. “What is going to happen to Octavia? She’s not going to be 18 for another year. What’s going to happen?” 

“Well, I do have to call child services. As for what they’ll decide to do I don’t know.” Marcus explained. 

Abby pulled away from Octavia enough to wipe away the tears rolling down the young girls face. “Don’t worry. I won’t let them split you up. I know Clarke wouldn’t either.” 

“Come. I’ll take you to see Jake and Aurora.” Marcus began ushering them out. 

Bellamy looked at his sister then back to Clarke laying in the bed unconscious. “Abby, will you go with Octavia? I don’t want to leave her alone in case she wakes up.” He nodded at the blonde beauty. 

The others left the room. Left him with his best friend who was hurt. Left him with the knowledge that his mother was dead, lifeless somewhere in this hospital. What was he supposed to do now? They had some money saved up. He could move back, drop out, and get a job. Clarke’s groaning pulled him back to the here and now. His hand being squeezed brought his eyes up to meet those deep blue eyes of hers. 

“Bell.” Her voice was raspy so unlike it normally sounded. “Bell, I am so sorry  I tried so hard!  If I had been my mother.” Now she was crying and squeezing his hand even harder. 

Without letting her hand go he leaned over cupping her face, his thumb wiping away her tears. “Oh Clarke, no. This is not your fault, Princess. You did more than enough. You were out there for hours! God, I was so scared I was going to lose you too.” 

Clarke raised her free hand to Bellamy’s cheek. “You won’t lose me, but I am sorry about your mom. I would gladly change places with her if I could.” Seeing tears forming in his eyes she decided to go ahead and do it now. “Bell, I need you to get something on the other table over here.” 

Much to his dismay he let go of Clarke’s hand and crossed the room to the other side of her bed. When he got closer the light reflected off of...something. Gently he picked up the set of round bands. “Is this-?” 

“The ring your father proposed to your mother with and his ring.” Clarke finished for him. 

“But how do you have them?” He turned them over between his fingers. 

She knew, Bell. Aurora knew she was pretty messed up. There was no way the glass didn’t hit something. The truck struck my dad’s side of the car, but hers hit a tree. After we got out of the car she started coughing up blood.” Fresh tears soaked her face. “And yet she was the one comforting me! She just kept telling me that everything was going to be okay. After a few hours, she pulled the chain out from around her neck and dropped it into my hand.” 

He hadn’t realized he was crying until she wiped his tears away. “She wanted me to tell you something, but I was afraid I wouldn’t remember so I used my phone to record her, but I don’t think she realized it.” Pulling her phone out from under the blanket she found the recording and pressed play. 

His mother's voice started pouring from the speaker. “Tell my beautiful boy that he has such a good heart and it’s okay to let people see it every once in a while. Tell him to fight for what he wants. Fight like hell. No matter what. Don’t let her be the one who got away either. This is going to hurt. Losing his mother is going to hurt him. He’s going to want to hold the pain in and be strong for you and Octavia. Don’t let him do that. Help him because you are the only one who can. Tell him when he does realize who the love of his life is, mark or no mark, don’t let that moment pass. When he knows that she is it for him to use these rings. Use them and know that as long as he is happy then he has my blessing. And you tell him that I love him. That I will always love him. When he misses me know that  I already miss him. Tell him that if he ever feels alone to know that I will always be there. I’m watching the three of you grow up and have the lives you were meant to have. Tell him that I am already so proud of the man he has become and I can’t wait to see what his future holds. I love you, my sweet beautiful boy.” 

By the time the recording was over Bellamy could no longer see through the tears. He dropped his head onto the bed beside Clarke and in no time she was running a hand through his hair. Even though she was the one in the hospital bed she kept telling him everything would be okay just like Aurora did for her. 

Bellamy eventually dozed off clutching her hand in his. Clarke leaned her head back and cried for her father. She cried for the boy who lost his mother and for the girl saying her final goodbye to the woman she idolized. She cried for the wife who just lost her soulmate. 

By by the time the two women walked back through the door Clarke had cried herself out. Her mother was the first to come into her view. She quickly noticed the white bandage wound tightly around her wrist where her soulmark had once been and she knew her father was gone. 

Octavia immediately ran to the side of the bed that Bellamy wasn’t in. “God, I am so glad you’re okay!” The younger Blake threw her arms around Clarke. “ I don’t know if I could have taken losing you too.” 

“I’m okay, O. I promise. You should probably wake Bellamy so he can go tell your mom goodbye before they move her.” 

“Marcus offered us some spare rooms in his home when we leave here tonight. We’ll be closer so we can come back early in the morning.” Abby explained as Octavia nudged her brother awake. 

“Bell, you need to go with Abby so you can see mom.” Hesitating he looked to Clarke. “Don’t worry big brother, I’ll stay here with her.” 

“Don’t worry about me, Bell, you should go. You’ll regret it if not.” Clarke encouraged him. 

After Abby guided Bellamy out Octavia sat down in the chair next to the bed. “Please tell me you really are going to be okay?” 

“I’m fine, really, I’m just a little banged up. I’m so sorry about your mom. I tried so hard.” Clarke attempted apologizing again. 

“Don’t do that Clarke. Do not blame yourself. There was nothing you could do and you know that as well as I do. Mom would say the same thing. We’ll figure this out.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Bellamy knew. He had been worried and pacing all day. Almost like a soulmate would.” Octavia smirked at her. 

“Stop. We’re not soulmates. I am not Echo.” Thankfully Octavia let the subject drop. Silence filled the room as they waited for Bellamy to come back. 

 

* * *

 

Bellamy stared at his reflection in the glass door that his mother’s lifeless body lay on the other side of. He wished Clarke was here with him, supporting him through this. 

“Whenever you’re ready I’ll be out here waiting.” Abby reminded him. 

Taking a deep breath Bellamy pushed open the door and walked through, alone. His breathing turned shallow when he saw his mother’s face sticking out from under the white sheet. She had some bruising across her cheek but had otherwise lost all color. She no longer held the glow that was always there. 

“Mom? I don’t really know what to say. I love you. I know I may not have said it nearly enough, but I absolutely adore you. I know now that I should have said it more. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I know Clarke and I are close, but mom, you’re my rock. You are the one person I knew I could always count on. Mom? Please!” Grabbing her shoulders he shook her as if she was sleeping and would just wake up. “Mom!  Please don’t leave me! Mom! I love you! You were supposed to always be there!” He fell to his knees beside her and cried till his tears ran out. Still, he didn’t move. He couldn’t find the strength to get up off the floor. 

When he finally stood up he kissed his mother’s cheek, stroked her dark hair, and whispered “Don’t worry mom. I’ll take care of Octavia.” Turning, he walked out of the room. True to her word Abby was still there. 

“Do you hear any of that?” He asked hoping she hadn’t. He didn’t really want anyone to witness his breakdown. 

“Hear what?” Abby asked before walking back the way they came. 

 

* * *

 

“Octavia, your brother wants to talk to you in the hall.” Abby’s voice pierced the silence. 

Once Octavia was out of the room her mother walked to the side of her bed. “Honey we need to talk about your father before I leave.” 

“Mom, I know. I knew something was really wrong out there when he wouldn’t wake up. I tried climbing up the bank, but it was too steep and I couldn’t use my arm. If he could have gotten here sooner I know he would have had a better chance. They told me about dad and Aurora before you got here. I hope you donated his organs. Maybe they’ll help someone else go home to their family.” 

Abby could only stare at her daughter. When had she become so strong? “Okay honey.” She kissed her daughter's forehead before she turned back for the door. Passing Octavia she  told the girl, “I’ll be out here talking to Marcus when you’re ready.” 

“Where’s Bellamy? Did he already go to the car?” Clarke asked a little disappointed. 

“You could have died today. Marcus said the only reason you weren’t hurt worse is that you were sitting in the middle of the back seat.” Octavia walked back to her bedside. 

“Yeah,” Clarke whispered. “It could have been a lot worse.” 

“To answer your question, no. There’s no way Bellamy would leave you alone. He’s been worried about you all day. I’ve got Abby tonight. Besides, Clarke, you lost your dad and mom practically raised you. I don’t want you to be alone either.”

With tears in her eyes, she thanked her best friend. “You should go and get some sleep. Mom will probably have you back up here really early.” 

The brunette squeezed her hand once more before walking out the door. Quietly Bellamy walked back in, hands in his pockets, and sat in the bed next to her. “Hey, Princess.” 

“Bellamy, you don’t have to stay here with me. I appreciate it, but still.” 

Slowly he reached out and grabbed her hand. “ I don’t want you to be alone tonight. Honestly, I’m not sure I can hold it together enough to be with Octavia. Mom is dead and I almost lost you. I just can’t be away from you tonight.” 

Clarke scooted over as far as she could and patted the spot beside her. Gently Bellamy crawled in next to her and laid his head on her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, Bell. You’re not going to lose me. I promise.” 

She knew he would want to quit college and take care of Octavia, but she didn’t plan on letting that happen. She was going to find a way to make sure he stayed in college. Eventually, they both fell asleep basking in each other’s warmth, knowing they were not alone in their grief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was pretty excited about this chapter. I spent a good bit of time on it. 
> 
> Let me know what you think and how you liked it or not! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all the comments I’ve gotten so far. It definitely makes me feel better about it being my first fic!

The day Clarke was released from the confining hospital room was also the day Jake was lowered into the ground. It was the largest gathering for a funeral that Clarke had ever seen. He was, after all, a well known and immensely loved man. Clarke shook so many hands and accepted even more condolences she had stopped counting after 92. It was manageable with Bellamy hovering around her always within hands reach.

Octavia had taken it upon herself to be Abby’s person today knowing how hard it would be for the widow. She made sure she had everything she needed when she needed it. By the end of the day, Clarke was so exhausted that Bellamy had to carry her inside and straight up to her bed. He was pretty sure her pain medicine had a hand in making her this tired.

Digging through her dresser he found the pajama set he had gotten her for Christmas a few years back, pink with golden crowns and the word princess all over it. He threw the clothes at her face then grabbed each foot unzipping the boots and taking her socks off. “There Princess, put those pajamas on and I’ll bring you something to eat and some hot tea.”

She groaned some reply he couldn’t understand but heard her climbing out of her bed as he walked out of her room.

The next morning was much harder for everyone in the house. Especially Octavia.

“I can’t go, Bell. I just can’t watch mom being dropped into the ground.” Octavia sobbed from behind her locked bedroom door.

“O! It’s our mother’s funeral. We HAVE to be there!” He tried jerking the door open again.

Tired of the yelling, Clarke turned the shower off and wrapped herself in a towel. She knew the towel wasn’t the best idea, but it was all she had at the moment. Once in the hall, she turned towards all the commotion.

When Bellamy looked up at Clarke standing next to him he forgot all about his sister on the other side of the door. He forgot about what was happening in just a few hours. Hell, he even forgot to breathe. Her towel didn’t cover much at all. It barely even covered the tops of her thighs. And it definitely didn’t cover that red rose, the mark they both shared. While he loved sharing this colorful rose with her, it also reminded him that friendship is all they would ever have. They weren’t soulmates. That’s the only reason he had said yes to Echo almost a year ago.

“What is going on?” The blonde’s voice pulled him from the direction his thoughts had taken.

“O says she’s not going to moms funeral.” He leaned against the wall beside her door.

With a heavy sigh, Clarke leaned her forehead against the wood. “O, honey, this is something that we have to do. It’s going to hurt and you’re going to cry. Bellamy and I will both be right there with you.” At her words, she reached out for Bellamy’s hand. He took hers and wrapped it between his, rubbing circles with his thumb. “ she was taken from us way too soon and it is not fair. She won’t get to watch us graduate from high school or start college. She won’t get to see Bell teaching kids how to be a history nerd like he is. She won’t get to see any of us meet our soulmates or walk down the aisle. She will never meet her grandchildren. She loved us though. More than anything. If we don’t go today then when we look back on it we will regret not going. We’ll regret not telling everyone the best things about her.” She could hear Octavia sobbing through the door and if Bellamy sniffled next to her she didn’t point it out. “Now, are you going to open this door or are you going to make me haul myself up to the tree outside your window, jump in, and probably rip open my stitches?”

Suddenly the door was yanked open as Octavia crumpled into Clarke’s arms. Bellamy wrapped his arms around them as they all slid to the floor. After a few minutes, it was Bellamy who broke the silence. “ uh, Clarke? Maybe you should put on something more than a towel.”

Both girls looked down at her almost completely exposed body. “Oh, right.” Clarke chuckled, but disentangled herself from their hug and made her way back to her room.

“Go get a shower, O. I’m going to go make breakfast.”

The girl nodded. “Okay big brother, but make extra.” She said, slipping back into her room.

When all he had left was the gravy he heard a knock at the door. No one else had said they were going to be stopping by this early, but when he answered the door he was face to face with Murphy. Behind him, he could see Echo’s car parked in the driveway with the brunette stepping out of the driver seat wearing a skimpy red dress.

“Murphy? What are you doing here?” Bellamy looked at him with confusion clear on his face. However, his question went unanswered as Murphy edged past him without so much as a glance. Once inside, his booming voice revealed his reason. “GRIFFIN!”

  
A mere 10 seconds later Clarke was bounding down the stairs, makeup was done with her curls flying behind her. Least this time she had on more than a towel but was still clearly in the middle of getting ready. All she had on was a pale blue tank top and very lacy black panties that Bellamy definitely wasn’t thinking about sliding down her legs. No, he absolutely wasn’t thinking about that.

When she reached the floor after the last step she threw herself into the man’s arms who easily caught her like he had done it too many times before. “John Murphy! I miss you!” The blonde was holding him for all he was worth. “I thought I told you not to worry about coming?”

Echo slowly wrapped her hands around her boyfriend’s neck. “I missed you baby.” She cooed in his ear.

“Yeah. Me too, Echo.” Even though he had his girlfriend in his arms and she was full on hugging him he couldn’t pry his eyes away from Clarke hugging Murphy in her underwear.

It was that moment that Echo decided to open her loud mouth and point it out. “Uh, Clarke? Do you always prance around hugging people while still in your underwear.”

Clarke pulled away from the other man just slightly, but still in each other’s arms. “Oh, he sees me like this all the time. If it bothers you though,” she turned her attention back to Murphy, “come on, we’ll go to my room while I finish getting ready.” She smiled warmly and tugged him upstairs.

Bellamy was frozen. Clarke was half naked around Murphy all the time? Were they sleeping together? Was that the reason she was always there when he came down trying to talk to her?

“Babe?” Echo’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Did you hear me?”

“What? No, I didn’t. I’m sorry.” He tried to focus his attention back on the girl wrapped around him. “What were you saying?”

Annoyed at having to repeat herself, Echo huffed. “I said I’ve missed you. I couldn’t wait to get here and see you.” She drug her fingers up and down his chest a few times before trailing down his stomach. “Maybe we can go up to your room and let our bodies get reacquainted for a while.”

“You have got to be kidding me, right?” He grabbed her hand effectively halting her decent before she reached the waistband of his pants. “My mother’s funeral is in less than three hours. Her funeral, Echo! Having sex with you isn’t exactly on the top of my list right now. Holding myself together and being there for my sister and Clarke as we bury our mother is what I’m worried about. That’s my priority. If you have a problem with that then you can go back to your car.”

“Okay, sorry. I was just excited to see you.”

“There’s nothing exciting about this! Our mother is dead! She’s gone and she’s not coming back! How are you even able to use the word ‘excited’ right now!?” He looked up to see his sister standing at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed and an angry glint in her eyes.

“What is so wrong about being excited to see my boyfriend?”

“Well, when your boyfriend just lost his mother and is going through the hardest time in his life, excitement isn’t really an emotion you should be feeling!” She walked to stand right in front of her brother's girlfriend. “You know what? I don’t like you and Clarke doesn’t like you. I don’t think you should be here today, you didn’t even know our mother. So you can go.” With one final glare, the young girl turned back and left.

“Ugh!” Echo growled beside him. “You know what? I’m going to go check into a hotel and you can come to see me when you want to actually spend some time with me.”

“Echo, please -.” He turned to follow her and had the door slammed in his face. That probably could have gone better. With a heavy sigh, he went back to the kitchen to cook the gravy and heat everything back up.

Twenty minutes later he had the table set up and the food in the middle. Heading upstairs he stopped at Octavia’s door first, knocking a few times. Slowly he opened the door and found his sister brushing her hair. “Hey O, breakfast is ready. Echo left so you won’t have anyone to yell at.” The only response he got was a certain finger aimed in his direction.

He made his way to Clarke’s room not knowing if he really wanted to see what was going on on the other side of the door. Listening, he didn’t hear moaning, squeaking, or any other noises that would indicate something was going on that he did not want to see. Taking a deep breath he knocked four times and waited a few seconds before turning the knob and pushing it open.

What he saw really wasn’t much better than if he had walked in on them in the throes. They were laying in the bed facing each other with Clarke’s head buried in Murphy’s chest and his arms wrapped protectively around her. He could see, even from the doorway, that Clarke was currently sobbing against him. Panic shot though Bellamy as he went to step closer to them, but the other man held up a hand stopping him before he could.

“Is she -?

“She’s fine.” Murphy dropped his hand back down to her back and began rubbing gentle comforting circles there. “We’ll be down in a few for breakfast. Thank you.”

Bellamy frowned realizing that was a clear dismissal. Closing the door he turned to find Octavia exciting her room and ready before Clarke for a change.

“Not dragging your princess down too?” He knew she was teasing, but since he was no longer in a good mood he found it irritating.

“She’s not MY princess.” He growled. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Murphy has her plenty occupied so I don’t need to.” His frown deepened some more. She could have called him out for his jealousy, but she must have thought better of it since she didn’t say anything.

“You knew he was coming, didn’t you? That’s why you told me to make extra.” He asked his sister once they both had a plate of food.

“Yeah, I did. He wanted to be here for Clarke and would have been here sooner except he had a pretty big group project due yesterday that was worth a good bit of his grade. He did drive all night to be here this early though. I didn’t know your crazy girlfriend would tag along with him.”

“How close are they? Murphy and Clarke?” He purposefully ignored the comment about Echo.

“Are you asking me if they’re having sex or if he has taken your place as her best friend?” The look on her face told him she already knew the answer so there was no point in lying about it.

“Both, I guess. I know Clarke and I still need to talk about what happened at Christmas, but she hasn’t been ignoring me the last few days.” He knew he had a huge apology to give her.

Octavia thought about her answer for a minute before sighing. “I don’t know. She won’t talk to me about it. That’s how I know it really hurt her. I think a part of her also thinks that I will automatically take your side because you’re my brother. Therefore, she goes to Murphy for that. He’s your roommate so he’d be the best option after me. As for them sleeping together? I don’t know that either. What I do know is that even if they are sleeping together you have no right to be jealous about it. Not only are you sleeping with someone, but she’s been your girlfriend for almost a year now.”

He knew she was right so he simply nodded. It wasn’t long after their conversation ended that Clarke and Murphy made their appearance in the kitchen. _How c_ _onvenient_  he thought. It made him wonder if they had been listening in.

The rest of breakfast was fairly quiet and before long they were piling into Clarke’s car since it was roomier. Normally Bellamy would sit up front with Clarke, but this time Murphy slid in like it was all too natural for him. Grimacing, Bellamy took the seat behind Clarke. When was the last time he had sat in the backseat of her car?

It wasn’t the last time he took the backseat in her life all day. Murphy held her hand on the way to the funeral home. Kept a protective arm around her during the service and embraced her in a hug as soon as their combined eulogy was finished. She rode with him to the cemetery instead of in the family limo with them. She cried on his shoulder as Aurora was lowered into the grave. When everything was over they walked back to the car together. He tried being optimistic about this, thinking that it gave him time to focus on Octavia and to be there for her.

“Want me to drive us back home?” He asked because it was what he had done the day before.

“I got it.” Murphy was holding up his hand, Clarke’s keys already there. _Of_ _course,_ he thought.

As he expected, Clarke fell asleep on their way back home. He planned on carrying her to bed as he did after her fathers funeral, but when he came around to her side of the car Murphy was already in the middle of pulling her out.

He watched as Clarke slid her arms around his neck and nuzzled into his chest. Everything that would have been his place to do with Clarke today, Murphy had done it. So he helped the only way he could, by opening the front door and then her bedroom door before slamming his shut.

He was pretty sure he never heard Murphy leave her room. After an hour of angrily staring at a picture of his best friend on the wall he got out of bed, changed clothes, grabbed his keys, and left. If she was going to get laid today then, damnit, so was he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please comment and let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

When Clarke woke up, she noticed two things. The first thing is that it was almost completely dark outside which meant the sun was going down. The second thing was that she was laying on someone and they had their arm around her. “Murphy?” She assumed since she hadn’t actually looked to make sure.

“Hey there.” He smiled down at her. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been crying for days” she groaned, but snuggled in closer to him. “Where’s O?”

“I’m pretty sure she’s still asleep. I haven’t heard her moving around.”

She wanted to ask where Bellamy was and couldn’t help wishing things were better between them. For months she had grown so used to avoiding him that she kept doing It. “Where’s Bellamy?” She asked anyway.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Murphy sighed and began rubbing her back comfortingly. That wasn’t a good sign. “He left a few hours ago to go see Echo. Considering what she wanted to do earlier, I have a feeling he might not be back tonight.”

She felt tears spring into her eyes. “I should have known.” She sighed as a tear slid down her cheek. “He will be back tonight to check on Octavia. Plus the caseworker is supposed to be here in the morning to talk to him and mom. He wouldn’t risk missing that.”

Of course, she had been right. At 11:30 Bellamy walked through the door to find four bodies occupying the living room. Octavia was curled up in one of the recliners with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand. Raven sat in the other recliner, much the same way with a beer and a bowl of popcorn. Murphy was against the armrest of the couch with Clarke’s feet in his lap while her head was on the other side.

“Hey, big brother. So nice of you to come home.” The sarcasm was heavy in her voice.

“Yeah. How was your girlfriend? Did You have lots of fun?” Clarke threw in and if he didn’t know any better, he would have thought she was jealous.

“Of course I did.” In reality, he really hadn’t enjoyed himself. All he could think about was Clarke and Murphy and what exactly their relationship was. Echo had gotten irritated with him when she couldn’t get him in the mood for anything and kicked him out. He’d spent the last couple of hours sitting by his mother’s grave. However, he just couldn’t help himself. “Probably as much as you and Murphy did.”

Shooting up off the couch she leveled him with an icy glare. One that she had never given him before. “Excuse me? What is that suppose to mean?”

At this point, Octavia and Raven had abandoned the tv to watch the train wreck that was unfolding before them. Murphy was sitting on the edge of the couch now, glancing back and forth between him and Clarke.

“Oh, I don’t know. How about him being used to seeing you in your underwear as you eloquently put it this morning or the amount of time you’ve spent together in your room since he got here. Maybe all of the weekends you stay at his house when I come down here trying to talk to you! Don’t try to tell me the two of you aren’t fucking each other!” He just couldn’t quit putting his foot in his mouth. Go big or go home, right?

He expected her to yell or slap him. She would probably punch him, that was more her style. What he didn’t expect were the tears that flooded her eyes. He didn’t expect the broken look on her face as she stopped right in front of him with Murphy trailing behind her.

“Murphy has seen me in my underwear so much because I have panic attacks that make me feel so constricted I strip my clothes off. Right down to the bare minimum. Those started when your girlfriend reminded me just how much my parents aren’t in my life. That they didn’t have time to love me and paid someone else to do it. How about losing my best friend because he hurt me by telling her all of that and then taking her side. We’ve spent most of the time in my room because as much as Jake wasn’t a part of my life he was still my father. Aurora, who took me in and raised me without any hesitation, died. They both died! I have had nightmares since the night It happened. I can still hear the sound of the cars colliding. I can still see my fathers practically lifeless body. I still hear Aurora’s screams when that glass lodged into her. Would you like to hear the gurgling sound the blood made when It was coming up, cause I still can! God, there was so much blood! Is it so hard to believe that I didn’t feel like facing the world today?” By this point, her face was soaked with streaming tears. She paused long enough he thought she might be finished, but he was wrong. “No, I haven’t really talked to you because I have absolutely no idea what to say to you. For the record, Murphy and I haven’t had sex. He’s the one who has been there for me because I don’t want to burden Octavia and make her feel like she’s being put in the middle.”

Sighing, Clarke spun around and ran toward the stairs, stopping just short of the first step. Keeping her back to him she continued. “The worst part is I miss you. I miss telling you things, but I am afraid that if we talk about what I know we need to that I won’t be Important enough. I’m afraid I won’t be enough for you to want to have to deal with your girlfriend hating me.” Before he could process everything she had just thrown at him, she sprinted up the stairs taking them two at a time.

“Geez Bellamy. Why don’t you just accuse her of murder while you’re at it?” Raven was the first to go after her.

“Bellamy, you better fix what you fucked up.” That was his sister’s voice. That left him with Murphy glaring at him.

“What?”

“What the hell is wrong with you? You might want to find a way to make all this better or be prepared to lose her for good.” Murphy told him before he, too, was gone.

Groaning, he threw himself on to the couch and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Wanting some advice, he was already dialing his mother’s number before he remembered she couldn’t answer. She couldn’t help him anymore. The realization that she would never be there for him to talk to again had tears spilling from his eyes. So he called again and again and again. Getting her voicemail every time, he fell asleep listening to his mother’s voice.

The next morning when Clarke woke up she heard voices coming from downstairs. As if reading her mind, Murphy began filling her in on who was down there. “The social worker is here. She thinks that with the way your mother works it would be best to put Octavia with a foster family till she turns 18. Bellamy doesn’t want that, obviously. Your mom Is trying to reason with her saying she will hire someone to stay home with her.”

“She can’t take her away.” Clarke was already out the door before he could reply.

“I’ll be here.” She practically yelled as she flew down the stairs causing everyone to turn and look at her.

“And you are?” The caseworker asked while looking over her notes.

Clarke opened her mouth to reply, but Abby beat her to it. “She’s my daughter.” Then directed her next question at Clarke. “Why are you in your pajamas?”

Clarke looked down at her bare thighs sticking out from under her shorts but shook her head. “That is not the point right now. I’m graduating in two weeks. I’m already 18 and this house is paid for. I have a job to pay the bills. I plan on taking a year away from college to decide if medical school is really the right place for me.” She glanced at everyone in the room. “I know Octavia better than anyone. We share a soulmark.” She held her finger up for proof. “Put her in my custody. She won’t be alone and I will make sure she is cared for and goes to school. My mom is ten minutes up the road at the hospital if we need anything. Please do not take and place her with random people. She just lost her mother, please don’t take her from the only family she has left.”

“I’ll be here too. I can transfer to the university In town. That’s another person to watch her.” Bellamy added, his voice almost pleading.

“Count me in, I’ll transfer back too. We have a family group here and we all look out for each other.” Murphy added as he and Raven walking up behind Clarke.

“Please don’t take her away.” Clarke’s voice cracked with emotion.

“I have never seen more teenagers willing to look after one person.” The caseworker sighed. “Okay, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll give you a two month trial with random check-ins. If everything goes fine in those two months then I will place her in your custody ms Griffin. Yours and mister Blake’s till she turns 18. Thank you for your time.” Everyone watched her leave, pulling the door closed behind her.

The first person to register what just happened was Octavia who simultaneously screamed while throwing herself at Clarke. “You get to stay.” She finally squeezed the younger girl back.

“I get to stay.”

The next person to realize what happened was Bellamy and instantly wrapped the girls In a hug. “You did it, Princess! You did it!”

All at once Murphy, Raven, and even Abby joined in on the group hug. After the hug ended her mother excused her self to get to work. Raven was the next to leave, saying she needed to go check on her mother. Octavia gave Clarke another hug before going to take a shower.

“Then there were three!” Murphy attempted to lighten the tension in the room. Bellamy dropped down on the couch wanting to put a little distance between him and the other two people in the room.

Clarke looked at Murphy before crossing the room to give him a hug. “Thank you for helping, but are you sure you really want to move back here? I know how much you wanted to get out of this town.”

“Clarke, you are my best friend. I don’t need a mark to tell me that. I’m happy to help. Besides, someone has to keep you and Blake from killing each other.” He grinned at her. “Now I’m going to go do some laundry before my eight-hour drive back tomorrow. You two work your shit out.” He walked out of the door before either could object.

This was the moment Bellamy had been waiting for. “Clarke, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn’t have told Echo about your parents. She asked who you were cause we were constantly talking on the phone or texting. You’re in so many of my pictures and she just wanted to make sure I was single. So I explained our history, our mark, and every reason why you are so important to me. I had no right to say the things I did last night. I was jealous and thought you had replaced me with Murphy like I didn’t matter. For that, I am extremely sorry.”

Clarke quietly sat down beside him on the couch, chewing her lip and thinking. “Murphy will always be one of my best friends. He has really been there for me and helped me through a lot. No one can take your place and Murphy isn’t trying to. I wanted to quit avoiding you, I just wasn’t sure how to talk to you. I understand your reasons for telling her, but please don’t expect me to like her. I will try to be civil, but that’s the best I can promise. I’m so tired of being angry at you, I don’t want to feel that way anymore.” It was as if some unspoken command was said, they both launched themselves embracing each other in a hug.

Clarke was the first to pull away. “You know you don’t have to transfer back, right? Spend the summer here and she will be in our custody in two months, I’ve got this.”

Rolling his eyes, Bellamy grabbed her hands. “I want to come back. I miss you and my sister being in the next rooms over. It’s been hard being eight hours away. I want to be here. Echo will have to understand, but I won’t let her move in. The two of you would burn this house down.”

“Okay. First, you need to pass your finals. Go back with Murphy tomorrow.” She headed towards the stairs. “ I’ve got some studying to make up for. Leave your dirty clothes outside your bedroom door and I’ll have them washed by tomorrow.”

Now he had to go have another conversation with Echo and tell her he was moving eight hours back home. He had a busy month ahead of him. Finals, Clarke and Raven’s graduation, his birthday, Octavia’s birthday, and packing up to move. It was going to be fun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize that the case worker most likely wouldn’t allow this but for the story’s sake she is. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leave a comment about what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

It probably should have been weird being the temporary, hopefully permanent, custodial adult of someone who was only 15 months younger than her, but nothing really changed. They still woke up and got ready for school on their own, met in the kitchen for coffee, and stopped on the way for breakfast.

Going back to school after everything that happened proved to be a lot harder than Clarke thought it would be. Everywhere she turned she could see the looks of pity on each person’s face. She heard the rumors and whispers that echoed as she passed by. Some of her classmates even started calling her Wanheda, commander of death. Being the only person to survive the crash apparently meant she took the lives of the ones who died. There was even a rumor that Jake and Aurora had been having an affair. Why they thought Clarke would be present for that was beyond her understanding.

Everyone’s finals came and went, thankfully none of them failed. Clarke had been kind of worried about one of them but wound up getting one of the highest grades. Bellamy and Murphy were completely moved back the day before Clarke and Raven’s graduation and was there to cheer. Things had slowly returned to normal between her and Bellamy. Before he moved back they’d text all day and night and thanks to Murphy she knew that on the nights he didn’t text her, he was with Echo. After he moved back he would text her all day while he was at school or she was at work and every night when they both got home they’d watch a movie together.

On the morning of her graduation, Clarke’s mother and their family lawyer knocked on the front door with some interesting news. Finding out her father had left her an inheritance wasn’t really a surprise. Finding out exactly how much the inheritance was an entirely different story. There was no way she could spend it all even if she tried. It was more than enough.

The graduation ceremony didn’t take nearly as long as the practice for it had. Only one person tripped on stage and luckily it hadn’t been her or Raven. Diploma in hand, Clarke walked through the doors of the catered dinner Abby had orchestrated. Even John Murphy was wearing a tie. Once they were back home and changed into pajamas, Clarke and Bellamy begin their movie night.

“So you turn 20 in a few days, are you excited?” Clarke sat down next to Bellamy on the couch. “Echo already has her mark, right?”

“Yeah. Echo got her mark a few months ago. It’s some weird bird thing or something like that, I guess. I am kind of excited. I mean, I love her and I’m not going to break up with her if we have different marks and she says she loves me enough that the mark doesn’t matter.” He leaned back, shrugging his shoulders.

Before she can stop herself, the words just tumble out. “Is Echo’s In color?”

His eyes dart to her, taking her look of surprise in before answering. “No?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you’re going to get the same thing she has.” She moves slightly letting her hair fall down cutting off his line of sight to her.

“What? Why not?”

“It’s just, look at our soulmark. We’re just friends and it is a beautiful shade of red. There is no way our bond will be stronger than you and your soulmate’s bond. Trust me, Bell. Your mark is going to be a spectacular color.” She nudged his shoulder before pressing play and starting the movie.

* * *

 

They were all lounging around the pool enjoying the summer heat while Murphy was manning the grill. Octavia and raven were sunbathing in two of the lounge chairs and Bellamy had his head on Clarke’s float feeling the weightlessness of the water.

“So big brother, how did Echo take the news of you moving back home?”

“She wasn’t really happy about it, but I told her we could make the long distance work. I’ll go visit her and she can come to see me. She may not like it, but she understands why I did it.”

Murphy snickered from his place at the grill. “He’s leaving out all of the yelling she did. I sat outside our dorm for over an hour waiting for her hysterics to die down so I could go inside. Her opinion was that you’ve been just fine without him for a year, why does he need to move back home to take care of you now?” He flipped the burgers over so they didn’t burn. “My personal favorite was ‘So you’re going to live with that girl in the same house?’”

“Murphy, that’s enough! They don’t need to know that.” Laughing, Murphy focused back on the burgers thankfully letting the subject drop. The rest of the day continued with more swimming, food, and occasionally someone being thrown into the pool.

* * *

 

  
Bellamy yawned from where he’d been sitting on the couch for the past hour just trying to stay awake. “I can’t believe you’re making up stay up till midnight.”

“You’re such a grump, Bell. You’re turning 20 and getting you’re soulmark! Why aren’t you excited about this?” Octavia was making everyone stay awake until Bellamy received his new mark.

“It’s still going to be there tomorrow, O.” He mumbled through another yawn.

“We still have over an hour till midnight so I’m setting my alarm and taking a nap.” Clarke was stretched out on the couch with her head in Murphy’s lap and her feet in Bellamy’s. Octavia and Raven curled up in the recliners.

Clarke woke up to someone gently shaking her. “Clarke, you’re alarm is going off. Time to wake up.” Murphy’s sleepy voice was so much softer than his everyday voice.

Groaning, she sat up and grabbed her phone to shut it off. “OCTAVIA, WAKE UP!”

“Clarke, honey, I am awake.” The chipper girl walked into the kitchen. “Coffee anyone?”

“What about vodka Instead?” Murphy’s tone was too hopeful this late at night.

“It’s after midnight, O!” Bellamy really wasn’t sure he even wanted to get a mark. “Maybe I won’t even get one.”

“Shut up Bellamy. You are far too special a person not to have a soulmate.” Clarke mumbled laying back down on the couch.

“She’s right big brother. Now start stripping so we can find it.”

He froze. Stripping? In front of everyone? In front of Clarke? He really hadn’t thought this through.

“How else did you think we were going to find it? We’ve all seen you in your boxers.” His sister laughed.

“Just be thankful you haven’t walked into him being balls deep in Echo while she’s bent over the only table we had in the dorm room.” Murphy grumbled beside Clarke.

“Oh gross! I do not need to hear about my brother’s sex life! As far as I’m concerned he doesn’t have one! Okay, now can we please get on with finding the soulmark?” Thankfully he didn’t have to take much off before they found it.

“I told you it would be spectacular.” Clarke almost whispered.

On his chest, directly above his heart, was a golden compass on a bed of roses, beautiful vibrant roses. There wasn’t a hint of grey or black mixed in. Everyone gathered around him to look at and run their fingers over his new mark.

Octavia was the first to break the silence. “Does Echo have the same soulmark?”

“No.” Bellamy and Clarke both answered.

“Does that mean you’re going to break up with her?” His sister asked, hopeful.

“No. Why would I do that? I love her.”

“On that note, I'm going to bed. Have fun arguing with each other.” Clarke drug her feet to the stairs.

“Wait up. I’m coming with you.” Murphy followed closely behind her. Raven took their cue and followed them up the stairs before disappearing into Octavia’s room. However, none of them got any sleep for the next hour listening to the Blake siblings compete to see who could yell the loudest. Eventually, they both slammed their doors and the rest of the night was filled with a peaceful silence.

The next six weeks flew by with a couple of random pop-ins each week, but they always passed those. The caseworker seemed more and more at ease each visit. By the last visit, she was absolute cheerful to see them. Something about them being her easy case.

“As promised, the two of you will now have full custody till she turns 18. Come down to the office tomorrow and fill out some paperwork. I’m proud of you guys. You pulled together to make sure she was able to stay with family. That’s admirable.” The woman smiled at them as she let herself out of the house.

As soon as she was out of sight, Octavia was jumping up and down screaming with delight. Bellamy jumped and grabbed Clarke into a ferocious bear hug. “We did it” she cheered. “We really did it!”

That night they had Murphy, Abby, Raven, and Shaw over to celebrate. Everything was finally going their way. Clarke had to admit that things were finally great. Until a week later when Echo showed up during game night. Unfortunately for Clarke, she was the one who answered the door.

Groaning, she thought about shutting the door back before opening it all the way. “Bell, your girlfriend is out here in a very skimpy red lingerie outfit. Maybe you should take her to the strip club where she would be more comfortable.”

Before Echo could reply Bellamy was stepping around Clarke and whispering something in her ear.

“That was me being civil.” She whispered back, shrugging. Then turned and rejoined everyone in the living room.

“What are you doing here? The semester starts in a few days.”

“How about you invite me in and I will tell you.” Echo’s voice was seductive as she ran a finger down Bellamy’s chest.

“Of course, come in.” He slid over far enough that she could step through with more than enough room. So naturally, she pushed her ass out letting it rub against him.

Bellamy gulped at the friction. “We’re, uh, in the middle of game night. Can you tell me in there or does it need to be more private?”

“Oh, baby. We can do the private thing in a little while, but for now, we can talk with everyone.” Echo sauntered past him into the living room. He cleared his throat and rearranged his dick in a way that his slight erection was less noticeable before he followed and took back his seat next to Clarke.

“Oh goody.” His sister murmured across from him.

Ignoring the younger Blake’s comment, Echo began her explanation. “I know we said we could make the long distance work, but I missed you and we are soulmates - “

“No, you’re not.” Clarke interrupted her while rolling the dice on the board.

This news didn’t seem to phase Echo one bit. “Anyways, I figured since we’re soulmates that I didn’t want to be away from you that much and I knew you were going to go to the university in town. I transferred here and got my own private dorm!” She finished with way too much excitement for Clarke’s taste. The woman sat there clapping while everyone else was frozen in shock and horror.

“You what?” Bellamy was the first to recover. “You transferred here? Like you’re going to be living in this town?”

“Yes, baby!” She crashed her lips to his.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Clarke maneuvered around Murphy and headed for the stairs.

Octavia pouted in her seat. “But Clarke, it's only 9. Play a while longer with us.”

“I have a headache O. Echo, I’m sure, is more than happy to take my place.”

“Of course! I love monopoly!” The girl in lingerie squeezed herself in between the two boys in the couch.

 _Of course, she does_  Clarke thought. It was bad enough to be in love with Bellamy now that he was back around her every day. He was even trying to take care of her like he always did and they were caring for Octavia together. That all made it hard enough to get over him. Now his girlfriend, that she really despised, was going to be around all the time. His girlfriend who didn’t share his beautifully colored “unbreakable bond” soulmark, but he loved enough to want to stay with her instead of the girl that shared his mark.

She knew he would never love her the way she loved him, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt watching him love someone else. Clarke wrapped herself up in her covers and let the heartbreak take over. The tears were streaming down her face, soaking into her pillow, when the door opened and shut. She thought whoever it was must have not come in till she felt the bed dip and a familiar set of arms embrace her. Murphy wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could without breaking her.

“I’m sorry Clarke. I know you don’t like her and I know it’s going to hurt seeing them together. You love him. It’s hard not to let It bother you.” She turned her head into his chest and continued crying. “I’m here though and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you need, I've got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Any comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

A week after her tearful breakdown a somewhat routine had formed. Octavia entered her senior year of high school. Bellamy and Murphy began their second year of college and Raven started her first year. Monty and Harper had gone off to Harvard Law School while Jasper followed Maya to New York, she had gotten a full ride scholarship to Juilliard and Jasper was only a few miles away at NYU.

During the morning while everyone else was at school Clarke would clean, do any dirty laundry, and take the dishes from the night before out if the dishwasher. After all of that was finished she would take a shower and get ready for her 10 am shift at the flower shop. Murphy would send her updates about the annoying kids in his classes while Bellamy sent her random memes and things even if she barely replied. Echo came home with Bellamy a few times a week, on those days Clarke, Murphy, and Octavia would lock themselves in Clarke’s room. She would work on her art while Murphy and Octavia worked in their homework. Raven started doing this with them till she met Miles Shaw, now she “studied” with him.

This only worked for a little while. The afternoon they heard Bellamy’s dirty talk mixing with Echo’s moans coming through the walls Clarke walked out muttering, “No. Nope. Can’t do it.” as she did. When she returned later that night she told them she picked up a second job helping out at one of the local art galleries. Ignoring their shared look of confusion, she went straight to the second floor and slammed her door shut.

“Does anyone know what that was about?” Bellamy asked, looking between his sister and Murphy who just shared a look.

“Yeah.” Murphy answered, but didn’t elaborate. Instead, he excused himself and went upstairs as well.

“What the hell?” He growled and faced his sister. “What was that about? We don’t need the money so why did she get a second job?”

Without saying a word Octavia took her, mostly empty, plate to the kitchen. Wanting answers Bellamy followed her. “O? What do you and Murphy know that I don’t?”

“We heard you and Echo earlier.” Amused by the look of horror on her brother’s face she continued. “The moans, the dirty talk, all of it. Clarke left and came back with a job that’s probably going to keep her busy so she doesn’t have to deal with you and Echo.”

That’s exactly what happened. The morning routine didn’t really change except Clarke went into the flower shop an hour earlier till she eventually quit altogether. As soon as Octavia was out of school she left for the art gallery. Murphy met her there most afternoons, sometimes he went home with her and other times he went to his mom’s. Bellamy, having a 6 am class every morning, was usually asleep when she walked in the door. She’d go to Octavia’s room every night and help her with her homework or just spend time with her.

It was just like that saying “one step forward and two steps back”. Her and Bellamy had gone from watching a movie every night to every other night and eventually they completely stopped. Bellamy gradually cut back on texting her till he only did so when he needed something. It wasn’t like they were purposely ignoring each other, Bellamy just didn’t have time to spend with her. If he wasn’t at school then he was with Echo. Sometimes they went to Echo’s dorm, sometimes they were at the house. While Bellamy spent most of his time with his girlfriend, Clarke spent most of her time with Murphy and Octavia. The only time she couldn’t avoid seeing Bellamy and Echo together was game night. Not only was Echo there, but Raven’s new boyfriend, Shaw, was as well. Echo always made game night pretty terrible for her, but this time she truly outdid herself.

“Hey baby, you’re coming back home with me for Thanksgiving, right?” She had been asking him the same questions for the past few weeks, but he didn’t know how to tell her no or if he even should tell her he wasn’t going to. His sister, on the other hand, didn’t share the same problem.

“No! No way! Bell! This is our first Thanksgiving since mom and Jake died. You can’t seriously be thinking about abandoning us!”

“My parents are actually still alive and I’d like to see them. The last time I went home was during the summer.” Echo retorted before Bellamy had a chance to say anything.

“So go see them, without my brother!” Octavia screamed at the woman.

“I plan on it! With my boyfriend going with me! I’m his future! There’s no reason for him not to!” Echo just wasn’t backing down.

Murphy threw him a sympathetic look. “Hey, Blake! You might want to step in before baby Blake pulls out her claws. We don’t really need the bloodshed.”

With a heavy sigh, Bellamy looked between the two girls. “Why does everything have to turn into an argument?” Then he looked over at Clarke who hadn't said anything yet. ”Clarke? Are you not going to add your opinion?”

”No. I don’t think I am.” She shrugged, without looking at him. “I don’t really care if you go or not.”

“Clarke what…” he heard Octavia begin, but he didn’t hear anything else she said. All he could focus on was that she didn’t care. How could she not care? That was hard for him to accept. He knew things had been a little distant between them lately, but how had it gotten bad enough for her not to care and for him to not notice? He felt himself become cold and defensive.

“Of course you don’t.”

“Let me rephrase that. I care, but what’s the point? What we wanted didn’t matter last year when you weren’t going to spend Christmas with us. It doesn’t matter when you bring your girlfriend over all the time. Do you not notice how we all hide out in my room? We can’t even get one night with just you, one night that we don’t have to share you with Echo.” She stood up, grabbing her plate and headed for the kitchen. “If you want to be here for Thanksgiving then you will be. If you want to spend Thanksgiving with Echo and her family instead then there is nothing I or anyone else can say that will make you stay.” Sighing, she stepped away from the sink. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

He watched her disappear up the stairs and knew it wouldn’t be long before Murphy followed her like he always did. As If he had read Bellamy’s thoughts, Murphy sighed and made his way to the stairs before turning back to look at Bellamy. “Just go to her parents. It would be nice for Clarke not to cry herself to sleep for a change.”

“Yeah, it must put a real kink in your sex life when she does.” Bellamy retorted before turning his back to the man.

“You really do not want to go there with me. I haven’t had sex with Clarke, but I can see if she would like to because that’s clearly what you want.”

Before Bellamy could even say anything else Murphy was gone. No, he really didn’t want Clarke having sex with Murphy or anyone else for that matter. Thinking about it made him so damn jealous he couldn’t stand it.

“You know what Bell, they’re right. You should just go with Echo. I want you here and despite what Clarke says I know she wants you here, but if you have to hesitate spending the first Thanksgiving since mom and Jake died with us, then you should just go. At this point, you should probably just move in with her.” His sister was packing up the game they had been playing before all this happened.

“O, I can’t move out, I’m your legal guardian.” Why was she trying to get rid of him?

She sighed, standing up and grabbing the game. “No Bell, you’re one of my guardians. It’s like divorce and I choose mom.”

Raven and Zeke, who has just been watching this disaster, decided now would be a good time to break their silence. “Well, we’re going to head out and let y’all argue about this.” Raven stood pulling her boyfriend with her.  
He turned back around to say something to his sister, but she was already gone.

“So does this mean you’re coming with me to my parent’s?”

He was far too tired for this. “I’m going to bed.”

* * *

 

Tensions were still high the next morning. Clarke had the day off and was still in her pajamas when Bellamy came down to find her cooking breakfast.

“Do you need any help?” He asked, cautiously approaching her.

“No, Bellamy. I’m quite capable of cooking breakfast. Aurora taught me how rather well.”

This was news to him, he’d never seen her cooking with his mom. “Mom taught you how to cook? Where was I?”

“I don’t know. Football practice, out on dates, with Murphy and Miller, not here.” She moved the food to the table without so much as a glance in his direction. “Murphy! O! Breakfast Is ready!” Octavia was the first to come down, still in her pajamas as well.

“O, why aren’t you ready for school? Are you sick?” The concern was evident in his voice.

“School is letting out at 10 today and we didn’t really see the point in me going for two hours of sitting in the first block watching The Magical School Bus or Fifty Shades Of Grey. Whichever got more votes.” She walked past him to the table and inhaled. “God Clarke! You’re going to spoil me. I hope my soulmate cooks as good as you!”

“Wait a minute. So you’re letting my sister skip school because she feels like it? No. O, go get ready.”

“You have got to be kidding me, Bellamy! Do I seem that irresponsible to you? I’m the one that handles everything involving Octavia and school. I have every one of her teacher's numbers and I talk to them on a weekly basis to make sure she's doing well. The only reason they have to go in is that all of the freshmen have a test to take. Her teacher for those two hours is Vera Kane, who I've known since I came out of my mother's womb. So do you still want to fight with me about something you never deal with or do you want to go wake up your damn girlfriend?” From the look on her face, he knew he had crossed a line. Turning to go wake Echo up he almost ran face first into Murphy, who was still dripping water from the shower.

“Damn Clarke!” Murphy appraised all of the food on the table. “Keep cooking like this and I might just marry you.”

He heard her laugh deep and genuine. “I might just let you!”

His steps faltered hearing that. Were they being serious or joking about it? Either way, It broke his heart thinking about Clarke marrying Murphy. Sighing, he continued his climb. By the time he dragged Echo out of bed and downstairs, everyone else had already started. Although the tension was still there it was an easy breakfast, mostly.

“So I was thinking about everything that was said last night. Mostly about Bell moving in with me.” Echo turned everyone’s attention to her. “Well, my dorm is small and temporary, why don’t I just move in here?” She smiled like it was the best idea.

Clarke visibly tended and Murphy spit his orange juice out, but it was Octavia who spoke. “I’m sorry, what? Did you just invite yourself to move in?”

“Well, you said last night we should live together. That’s what gave me the idea, but when I got up for a glass of water I realized there was a door I had never seen open so I went in. Not only is the bed bigger, but the entire room is big enough for both of our stuff and it has a private bathroom. I think Bell and I should move into it. Then Murphy could sleep in Bellamy’s old room when he stays the night.” She looked that the four shocked face gaping back at her.

“No!” Clarke and Octavia’s voices boomed together.

“That is our mother’s room. You are not moving into it. You don’t even need to step foot in there again!” Octavia growled.

“It makes more sense for us to take that room!” Echo argued with her.

“I do not care what you think makes sense in your crazy mind, but you are not moving into my mother’s room. It’s not happening.”

“It’s been seven months! It’s time to move on! Bell, help me out here.”

He knew Echo was out of line, but he just wanted to avoid another argument as bad as last night. “We’re not taking my mother’s room, but I don’t see the problem with you moving in.” Hopefully, Clarke didn’t remember his promise to her.

“You’re kidding, right?” Clarke asked disbelievingly. Apparently, she did remember. “What about the deal we made when you moved back? You promised!”

“Clarke, we’ve been together for over a year. Is it really that much of a surprise? I didn’t think you’d hold a grudge this long.”

Clarke laughed dryly. “Then you don’t know me very well. Fine, she can move in when the semester is over. I’ll be out then.”

“Clarke, you can’t be serious.” Bellamy couldn’t believe she was doing this. “You’re trying to make me choose between my best friend and my girlfriend?”

“That is in no way what I’m doing. You promised she wouldn’t move in. You’re breaking that promise. If she can wait till Octavia graduates then fine, but I am not living with her. I said I was taking a year off and then going to college. That doesn’t mean I need to be living here when I do. When she graduates I’ll move to my beach house and you won’t have to worry about us fighting anymore.” Clarke stormed out of the kitchen.

Octavia slammed her hands on the table. “You can’t just let us have a good get together without making it turn into a screaming match!” She turned from glaring at Echo to glaring at her brother. “And you! Do you realize that I would be in foster care if it was for Clarke? She’s the one who has been taking me to school, paying for anything I need, senior pictures, my yearbook, my cap and gown, my glass ring, and the trip the soccer team is taking in March! She also came to every single one of my games and Murphy was right beside her. Where were you?” She paused giving him time to defend himself. When he remained quiet she continued. “When Clarke goes to the beach house, so do I.” Copying Clarke, she stormed out of the kitchen.

Bellamy glanced over at Murphy chewing the last of his food. “You not going to say anything? I assume you’ll take Clarke’s side?”

The boy in question cut his eyes to Bellamy. “I’m not cleaning this up.“ He shuffled over to the stairs. “Also, you’re an idiot.“

By the time Murphy reached Clarke’s room, the girls were in a deep discussion about Christmas. He sat on the edge of the bed shaking his head. “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet and you’re already planning Christmas.”

“And New Years.” Clarke cheerfully added.

“So, what are the two of you planning?”

“Well,” Octavia began, “maybe going on a trip somewhere like New York, Greece, California or maybe even Canada.” The younger Blake sibling was bouncing with excitement.

“The thing is, my mom called earlier, while I was cooking, and she has a medical conference in Washington on the 22nd and then another on the 27th. She thought it would just be easier to stay through the holiday, but she said she would either pay to fly us out there or pay to fly us anywhere we wanted to go. I think a vacation during Christmas sounds amazing right now.”

Murphy smiled at the two girls. “I think that is a great idea!”

“You can get your soulmark somewhere other than in this place!” Clarke pointed out

“Oh yeah!” Octavia grinned. “I forgot your birthday is right before Christmas!”

“Well, we’ve got a month to decide where we want to go. We should also invite Raven and her boyfriend.” The blonde pulled out her phone.

“I would say we should invite Bell, but I’m sure he would rather spend it with that woman.” The younger Blake frowned.

Sighing, Clarke looked at Murphy who patted the young girl's shoulder. “We’ll talk to him.”

That night when Bellamy got home from his last class, he walked in to find them waiting in the living room for him. Clarke was sitting on the couch with her elbows on her knees, shaking her leg almost like she was nervous. Murphy had perched himself on the armrest to her right.

“Hey.” He looked between them cautiously. “Where is O?”

“She’s upstairs working on a paper they have due before the break.” His kind of best friend replied. “We actually need to talk to you about something without your shadow tagging along.”

“Okay. Is this a good something or a bad something?” He really wasn’t in the mood to argue. It had been a long day, he just wanted a hot shower and his bed.

  
“That will be up to you.” Murphy warned.

“My mom is going to be at a medical conference through Christmas and if we want she is going to pay for us to go wherever we want for both Christmas and New Years.” Clarke was fidgeting with her fingers, obviously nervous.

Murphy decided to take over. “Obviously, we're going to go somewhere and Octavia really wants you to go, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring Echo.”

He sat there thinking about what they’d just told him. It would be nice to spend time with them without Echo and Clarke fighting about something. Before he could say anything Clarke got his attention.

“I really hope you agree to do this, it’s the first Christmas since you both lost your mother. I know you have your own life, but as much as she knows she has us, I know Octavia is really going to need you there. She’s going to need her brother.” Clarke was holding back tears at this point

“You lost her too, she basically raised you.” He crossed the room to kneel down in front of Clarke, grabbing her hands. “We should be together for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I’m sorry I didn’t see that before.” He pulled the now crying girl into a tight embrace.

Clarke melted against Bellamy’s chest, sobbing. When was the last time they’d been on good enough terms to even hug like this? It felt so nice to have his warmth wrap around her.

“Does this mean you’re going to go with us?” Octavia’s voice came from a few feet away. Startled, they quickly pulled away from one another, but Bellamy slid his hands to her knees so he didn’t have to completely lose touch.

“Yeah, O, I’m coming with you. I’m also not going to Echo’s for Thanksgiving. I’m sorry I even thought about spending it away from you guys. Come here.” He stood pulling his baby sister into a bear hug. Maybe this would be the start of a better tomorrow.

 

* * *

  
The next afternoon when Echo showed up, Clarke and Octavia disappeared upstairs knowing there was going to be an argument. It wasn’t like they tried eavesdropping, but Echo wasn’t the quietest person.

“What do you mean you’re not coming home with me!” They could hear Echo shriek.

“I need to be with my sister, this is a hard time for us. Thanksgiving was our mother’s favorite holiday. It’s a big deal.” He tried reasoning with her.

Annoyed, Echo crossed her arms and poked out what little chest she had. “You are my boyfriend! You're supposed to spend the holidays with me! Not your sister or Clarke!”

Sighing, he grabbed Echo’s hands. “I love you, but I’m spending Thanksgiving with my sister.”

“And Clarke too, right? She’s going to be here?”

“Of course. She’s family, why wouldn’t she be?” He had thought that was pretty obvious.

“Doesn’t she have her own family to be with? You and your sister could both come home with me instead.” The angry brunette pulled her arms away to cross them again.

“Look, we are spending Thanksgiving at Clarke’s mother’s house. Also, before it becomes another argument, I’ll be with them for Christmas too.”

“You can’t be serious!” The woman growled. “Fine! I’ll just spend Christmas here.”

“Well, the thing is.” He paused trying to figure out the best way to tell her.

“The thing is what?! What is the thing? Am I just suppose to spend Christmas away from you? Are you planning to be with me for New Years?”

Sitting down in one of the recliners, Bellamy pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed. “Clarke’s mom has a medical conference through Christmas. She won’t be back till the 28th. She’s paying for the four of us to go wherever we want for Christmas and New Years. I know you’re mad, but this is a family thing.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this! What about me?” Echo shrieked again. “Whatever Bellamy. Call me when you actually plan on spending time with me.” She turned and slammed the door on her way out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Any comments or kudos is greatly appreciated! Let me know what you think!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had some people leave and say they’re not going too finish this fic because of how bad Echo is. That’s fine. I did say she got worse before anything got better. 
> 
> But it’s just a fic. Just someone’s writing. If you don’t like it then stop reading it. No one is making you. But I would appreciate you not calling my writing stupid. Specially the first one I’ve done. 
> 
> I love the ending. And their Christmas trip is pretty great. But if you’re going to be negative about it just skip the rest. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Thanksgiving turned out to be one of the best days they’d had in a while. There was no fighting or anyone storming out of the room. The tension in the air wasn’t thick like it had been recently. The morning routine was easy, everyone was awake, dressed, and ready to walk out the door before nine. By the time they arrived, Abby already had everything set out on the counters ready to be prepped and cooked. All they needed was for Raven and her boyfriend to show up and once they were there the cooking was underway.

“Cooking isn’t really something I’m good at, is there anything else I can do to help?” Shaw asked sheepishly.

“If you want, you can set the table. Raven knows where everything is.” Abby pointed to the dining room.

Three hours later they were all sitting around the table, silently piling their plates with food. Suddenly, Clarke jumped out of her seat and ran upstairs, muttering about something not being right. With everyone startled, no one had the chance to react before she was already back at the table carrying two picture frames, placing Jake’s at the head of the table and Aurora’s next Octavia. “It just didn’t feel right without them.”

Once they’d all finished eating, the three boys brought the Christmas decorations down from the attic while the girls cleaned the table and kitchen. The rest of the day was spent putting the Christmas tree together and unpacking the many boxes of decorations. Clarke and Octavia decorated the tree while everyone else opted to string the outside lights up across the front of the house. Raven strategically placed the snowman, Santa Clause, and the cute little penguin in the yard so they weren’t too close to each other. By the end of the night an enormous pallet has been thrown together in the middle of the living room. Clarke had made sure it was big enough for all six of them to have enough room to roll over. They turned the television to the Hallmark channel, with mugs full of hot chocolate and a pile of fuzzy blankets they watched movie after movie till they eventually began to fall asleep. Sandwiched between Bellamy and Murphy, Clarke snuggled into their bubble of warmth and quickly dozed off.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Clarke woke up to the smell of bacon wafting into the living room. Rubbing her eyes, she glanced around the living room noticing that everyone was still asleep, except Bellamy. Shuffling into the kitchen she found him standing in front of the stove. Turning around he made her a cup of coffee, the exact way she liked it, and slid it to her. “Good morning Princess.” He smiled warmly at her. “I knew you’d wake up as soon as you smelled the bacon.”

“Bacon is the food of the Gods, along with this coffee! Thank you!” She moaned as another sip of coffee cascaded through her lips. When she looked back up from her coffee, Bellamy was looking at her in a way she couldn’t decipher. “Bell? What is it?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, nothing.” He shook his head, clearing it, before hastily turning back to the stove. Clarke knew him better than that. Something was wrong, but before she got the chance to push him about it she heard footsteps behind her.

“Please tell me there is hot coffee made.” Murphy grumbled walking towards the coffee pot.

A few minutes later Raven was dragging her boyfriend, who looked like he would rather still be asleep, into the kitchen “What’s for breakfast?”

“The same thing I make when I cook breakfast, pancakes, sausage links, biscuits and gravy, and eggs.” Fifteen minutes later Bellamy had finished cooking and was moving everything to the table with the help of Raven.

“So.” Bellamy crosses his arms and looked towards the living room. “Who wants to do it?” 

“Hard pass! I actually value my life.” Raven sat down next to her boyfriend and sipped on her second cup of coffee. Shaw, confused, looked between the four faces in front of him, but didn’t say anything, not wanting to do whatever they were talking about.

Murphy leaned back in his chair as if it would root him to his seat. “She’s your sister Blake. I’m not going it.”

Bellamy slid up next to Clarke at the counter, nudging her shoulder as he did. “Princess, you’re her best friend.”

“Fine! I’ll do it, but you better say nice things about me at my funeral.” The angry blonde poked his muscular chest before stomping off to the living room. Cautiously, she dropped down to her knees beside Octavia, gently shaking the young beast. “Octavia, wake up!”

Pulling the cover up over her face, Octavia groaned and rolled over. Clarke shook her once again barely pulling back fast enough to dodge the wild arm that was swung through the air. “No! Go away!” She could hear Octavia’s muffled voice come from under the cover.

“There’s breakfast and coffee. Good coffee from my mom's java machine! Come on Octavia, you love that thing!”

Octavia peaked out from under the cover to glare at the blonde. “I said go away!”

After ten minutes of trying to get Octavia to come to breakfast, Clarke was tired of being nice about the whole ordeal. She could already feel the bruise forming on her shoulder where she’d fallen into a table trying to avoid another arm being flung out. “That’s it!” Clarke jerked the cover off and threw it to the side. “I tried to be easy and gentle. Octavia, breakfast is ready and the coffee is made. We are having a nice breakfast together before your brother’s girlfriend comes back and ruins every meal we have together. Now get your ass up before I drag you into the kitchen!”

“Fine! I’m getting up! The food better be good!” The beast was finally tamed and making her way into the kitchen. When Clarke walked in after her, she was met with a round of applause. Murphy clapped her on the shoulder, causing her to wince in pain. “Shit! I’m sorry, but nice work!”

Bellamy completely surprised Clarke by grabbing her hand and spinning her out before pulling her back in against his chest, causing a giggle to escape her lips. Spinning her back out again, it was almost like there were dancing. When she was close enough this time, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “I knew you could do it, Princess.” He whispered, warm lips grazing her ear and sending a flush of goosebumps all over. How easily she remembered what those same lips felt like against her own, soft and warm. Her breathing faltered at the memory, aching to have them connected to her once again. All she had to do was push up on her toes and she could have everything she wanted.

Somewhere behind her someone cleared their throat, bringing her back to reality. Laughing, she pulled away, hoping he couldn’t tell where her thoughts had just gone. When she looked back up, his darkened eyes were already on her. Then, so fast she thought she’d maybe have imagined it, his eyes fell on her parted lips before returning to her eyes. Abby’s voice rang out from the doorway, causing them to jump apart.

“Good morning! I hate to rush out so early, but there’s a problem at the hospital and I need to take care of it.” Grabbing a piece of bacon, she kissed her daughter’s forehead and slipped out the door. With her heart in her throat, Clarke sat down in front of her still steaming coffee and began covering her plate with food.  

“So, um, what was that about a few moments ago? Right before Abby walked in?” Of course Raven had to point it out.

“Yeah.” Murphy pressed on. “Do tell us what that was, Blake.”

“What are you two talking about?” Bellamy did his best to look confused.

“Oh come on, big brother!”

Knowing Octavia, she wouldn’t give up till she had an answer. Sometimes that was a good thing, but this time Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. Her heart was already aching with how close they had just been. She desperately tried thinking of something to distract them. “So, we have three weeks till Christmas, where are we going to go?”

Murphy shot her an apologetic look, but it was a good enough distraction for Octavia. The young girl was excitedly talking about all the islands she wanted to go to, giving detailed descriptions of why they should go to each one. Breathing a sigh of relief, she picked up a spoonful of eggs before peeking over at Bellamy, only to find him already watching her. She tried to focus her attention back on the conversation going on around her but was still aware of the pair of eyes that never left her. She was more grateful than ever to be back in her own bed that night with multiple walls separating her and a certain Blake sibling.

The rest of Thanksgiving break sped by and soon enough everyone was going back to school. With the house empty it gave Clarke time to begin looking into colleges, some close and some not so close. Did she really want to stay here? Did she want to watch Bellamy love Echo? He would eventually marry her, have kids with her. Sure, she’d get her soulmark in a few years and maybe find her soulmate one day, but didn’t matter. She couldn’t imagine feeling the way she does about Bellamy with someone else. She loved him in a way that it was agonizing to look at him knowing he’d never be hers. 

On the other hand, could she really move away? Could she live hours away from everyone she knows and loves, hours away from home? She thought about the last year, painfully watching Bellamy be with Echo.  Could she continue to hear him say those three words, that she longed to hear aimed at her again, to that woman? What about all of the fights they’ve had, the times she avoided him or the time he didn’t have for her. If she stayed would she ever stop crying herself to sleep at night?

Grumbling, Clarke slammed her laptop shut, threw the device off her leg and watched it land in the center of the bed. Leaning back against the headboard, she thought about all of her options. She had enough money that she could go wherever she wanted to go, as long as she was accepted in. If she wanted to get away from Bellamy and Echo, she could even go to a college outside the country. She just needed to decide if she wanted to follow her passion and pursue an art degree or do what her mother wanted and become a doctor. Sighing, Clarke slid off her bed to get ready for her opening shift with Lincoln.

After what felt like an eternity later, she walked out of the art gallery, with only one stop before she could finally head back home. Her eyelids were having a difficult time staying open and her feet felt like she’d been walking on the sharp end of nails all day. It may have only been five in the afternoon, but she couldn’t wait to go back to bed.

 

_Clarke Griffin has started a group chat_

 

 _Clarke:_ I’m at the grocery store, what sounds good for dinner?

 _Clarke:_ You’re going to be there, right Murphy?

 _My Favorite:_ Of course! You know I am always up for your cooking!

 _Best Friend:_ Can you make that shrimp pasta stuff again? Pretty pretty please! :)

 _Clarke:_ Absolutely O! Is that good with everyone else?

 _Bellamy:_ Sounds great to me!

 _My Favorite:_ God, I love that stuff!

 _Bellamy:_ Why do they get nicknames and I’m just Bellamy?

 _Bellamy:_ Also Echo is going to be coming over tonight. Finally got her to talk to me.

 _Best Friend:_ That’s why you’re just Bellamy.

 _My favorite:_ Be thankful she didn’t keep the name I had changed yours to.

Clarke groaned as she slid her phone back into her pocket. At this point, she couldn’t wait for Octavia to graduate. The sooner she did, the sooner she could move to the beach house and not have to really see Echo. It really wasn’t that far from town, thirty minutes at the most. Maybe she didn’t have to wait after all.

By the time Bellamy got home that night, the pasta was almost done and the table had been set. The mouthwatering aroma hit him as soon as he walked through the door. “My God Clarke! That smells so amazing!” He exclaimed as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, pausing when the hushed conversation abruptly stopped. Confused, he looked between Clarke and Octavia. “What’s going on?”

Rolling her eyes at his question, Clarke turned back to the stove and began stirring the sauce. “Don’t worry about it. The food will be ready shortly, go change or whatever you need to do.”

He watched as Murphy went to stand beside her and nudge her with his shoulder before turning to go throw his backpack in his room and change into something more comfortable than the jeans he had been wearing all day. Returning to the kitchen in his sweatpants and a white shirt, he saw the front door open as Echo rushed through.

“Oh, baby! I missed you so much!” She ran and jumped into his arms, landing with a hard kiss to his lips. He’s pretty sure he heard gagging noises coming from the kitchen. It wasn’t until everyone had taken their seats around the table that Echo spoke to Clarke. “I don’t like shrimp, you need to make me something else.

Clarke laughed, disbelievingly at the woman across from her. “How about I don’t.”

“But I am your guest, shouldn’t you be nicer to me?”  Echo tried and failed, to look offended.

Clarke glared at the woman like she was about to lunge across the table _Meal Girl_ style and rip her face off. “First, I am not your maid and I don’t need to do a damn thing. If you don’t like what I cook here then you are free to go somewhere else to find food. Secondly, you are not my guest, you’re Bellamy’s. If anyone at this table is going to cook you something else, it will be him.”

“I can’t wait till I live here and you don’t.” Echo said, unashamed.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about that issue and I’m so glad you brought it up. You can go ahead and move in.”

At this new, Bellamy’s eyes shot to Clarke’s. “What’s the catch?”

The blonde shook her head. “There’s no catch. I just got to thinking that while the beach house is an hour away from here, it’s only thirty minutes from town. That includes the art gallery and the high school.”

Confused, Bellamy looked at his sister and Murphy, but they gave nothing away. “Okay? What does that mean?”

“It means that by the end of the week, I’ll be moved into the beach house, Bellamy.”

“As you already know, I will be moving with her.” Octavia reminded him.

Bellamy was momentarily stunned by the direction this conversation had taken, he hadn’t seen this coming. Eventually, he found his voice again. “What? Why? I thought you were going to wait until Octavia graduates?”

“I know that’s what I said, but things change.” Clarke shrugged. “It’s really not a big deal.”

He scoffed. “Not a big deal? How is that not a big deal? You’re taking my baby sister and making her move an hour away to a beach house! And you call that ‘not a big deal’?”

“I am not making your sister do anything, Bellamy. That’s her choice. If you didn’t feel the need to bring your girlfriend over all the damn time then I would wait till O’s graduation. She has a private dorm for crying out loud, go spend time with her there. I don’t like her and she damn sure doesn’t like me. No amount of time you force us to spend together is going to change that. What is so hard to understand about that?”

“Baby, I am all for Clarke moving out, but you can make your sister stay. You don’t have to let Clarke take her.” Echo cooed in his ear.

“Echo, unless you know what you’re talking about, you probably shouldn’t open your mouth and prove how much of an idiot you are. Clarke and Bellamy are both my legal guardians. If I want to go with Clarke then I can. Like Clarke, I don’t like you nor do I want to deal with you every day.”

“So what? It’s just going to be the two of you living in this big beach house?” Bellamy demanded.

“Come on, Blake. Do you really think I’d let them stay there alone? I’ll be there.” Murphy smirked at him.

Bellamy decided to try a different approach. “Clarke, you don’t have to do this. This has been your home for 11 years. Why are you wanting to leave now?”

She tried to seem indifferent to his sudden concern. “As I said, things change.”

Echo excitedly bounced in her seat beside Bellamy. “Well, I am entirely okay with this plan. I can’t wait to move in.”  

“I’m not very hungry. I’ll be in my room, drawing.” Clarke pushed her plate away and fled up the stairs to her room.

A few seconds after Clarke was completely out of sight, Murphy stood grabbing his plate and then Clarke’s. “She really is hungry, she just doesn’t want to be around you.” He looked pointedly at Bellamy before disappearing upstairs as well.

Bellamy didn’t understand why the two most important people in his life couldn’t get along with his girlfriend. They may not have had the best first impression or second, but it wasn’t like Clarke to hold such a grudge against someone. Echo really was a great person, she’d just had a hard childhood and it was hard for her to get along with people at first. 

“Well Echo, I guess you better find something else to eat. I mean unless you were just trying to be a bitch to Clarke.” Octavia hissed at the other woman.

“Octavia!” Bellamy chastised his little sister.

“What?” Octavia asked innocently. “Clarke made the exact same thing a few weeks ago and someone,” she fixed her glare toward Echo, “ate two plates of it.”

Shocked, Bellamy turned his attention to the woman sitting inches away not meeting his gaze. Echo merely looked down and began putting food on her plate. With a smug expression, Octavia dropped her plate into the sink and walked after the previous two. “Goodnight.” She called over her shoulder.

After such an eventful dinner, Bellamy laid in bed, restless. Echo had long been asleep after trying everything thing she could to get him in the mood. When nothing worked, she had given up and turned her back to him. It wasn’t long before he could hear her soft snores. He thought about how weird it would be not seeing Clarke at breakfast or when he came home after a long day, not hearing her laugh or making her smile every night. Sighing, he rolled over and pulled the cover up to his chin. That night his dreams were full of blonde hair and blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it 
> 
> Any comments or kudos is appreciated! 
> 
> Let me know what you think


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a little melodramatic about some negative commented. I apologize. I get that not everyone is going to like what I write. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is still reading this though!

By Friday afternoon, Clarke and Octavia had their boxes packed and ready to be loaded up, the only exception was the few items they’d use before everything was moved the next day. Clarke had agreed to wait till Saturday so they could enjoy game night instead of being worn out from moving everything. Bellamy had even agreed to loosen up for the night and let Octavia drunk during the games. It was her last night in this home after all, plus it would make the games just a bit more fun.

At Octavia’s suggestion, the night started out with _Never Have I Ever_. Murmuring their agreeance, everyone made their way from the kitchen, where the alcohol was, to the living room. Clarke was forced to sit next to Bellamy on the couch since she was the last to walk in. _It’s either there or the floor_ she thought. Sighing, she took the seat, pulled her legs underneath her and scoot as closed as she could to the armrest, hoping the night would end quickly.

“Okay! Never have I ever kissed a girl.” Octavia laughed, starting the game. Everyone except her and Echo took a sip.

“Easy!” Murphy shouted from across the room. “Never have I ever kissed anyone in this room.” The only two who didn’t drink were Murphy and Octavia.

Bellamy didn’t miss the fact that Clarke raised her glass to her lips on that question. Could that mean something really was going on between her and Murphy? He was too busy paying attention to Clarke to notice if Murphy took a drink on that one or not. She would have told him if she had kissed anyone else, wouldn’t she?

“Never have I ever slept in the same bed as Bellamy. Sorry man.” Shaw grinned beside Raven. The only ones who didn’t drink were him and his girlfriend. Clarke didn’t miss the glare she got from the other side of Bellamy as she brought her glass up to her lips. The night continued on with many more drinks.

“This is too amazing.” Echo interrupted the game. “I’m getting to know some pretty great things about you! I have to pee though.” She got up, only stumbling a little, and made her way to the bathroom  

“Never have I ever had a dream about someone in this room.” Murphy turned their attention back to the game. Raven, Bellamy, and Clarke turned their cups up.

“Bell, Echo isn’t technically in the room right now.” His sister pointed out.

“Oh, I know.” He smirked. If Clarke didn’t know any better, she would have sworn he glanced at her when he did.

“Let’s play something different, like truth or dare.” Echo suggested, coming back from the bathroom. “I’ll go first. Murphy, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

She handed him an unopened can. “I dare you to chug this.”

“Too easy.” Murphy grabbed the can and within seconds it was empty. “Raven, truth or dare.”

“Give me your worst, dare.”

“I dare you to kiss someone other than your boyfriend.”

Raven smirked. “Hey Clarke, wanna make all their dreams come true?”

“I am so in!” Clarke stood, meeting raven in the center of the room. Without hesitation, Clarke’s hand wrapped around the back of Raven’s head and curled into her long hair. Her other hand found its place on her hip, squeezing in the way she knew would drive Raven crazy, and pulled her closer. At the same time, Raven’s hands found their way to Clarke’s jawline. Once their lips pressed together, the room erupted into whoops and cheers, Bellamy even whistled.

“Why do I get the feeling that wasn’t the first time you two have done that? It seemed way too natural.” Shaw asked as Raven cuddled back into his side.

“You could say that.” Clarke chuckled. “There may have been some post-Finn trash talking turned into make-out sessions and amazing orgasms.”

Bellamy had the look of pure shock on his face. “How did I not know about this?”

“It was your senior year, Bell. You were focused on,” Octavia paused trying to figure out how best to word it. “other extracurricular activities.”

“Particularly the kind that did the walk of shake past our rooms after you fell asleep.” Clarke added, laughing. The room erupted in laughter around them.

Bellamy was less than amused. “Seriously? Do you have to do this in front of my girlfriend?”

“What?” Clarke asked, still laughing. “It’s no secret that you got around in high school.”

“Okay, okay.  Octavia, truth or dare?” Raven continued the game, taking the attention away from Bellamy. The next hour was filled with embarrassing truths, crazy dares, and one lipstick wearing Murphy streaking down the road.

“Clarke, truth or dare?”

Clarke could see the challenge in Echo’s eyes. “Dare.” She challenged back.

“Okay.” The woman’s face stretched into a wicked grin. “When we were playing the other game you admitted to kissing someone in this room, kiss them again. Clarke, not being the kind of person who backs down, stood up.

“Wait!” Bellamy called. He really didn’t want to watch Clarke kiss Murphy and confirm every one of his suspicions. He just couldn’t do it. “Clarke already told us about her and Raven kissing before today. I’m sure -.”

He was cut off by Clarke’s lips crashing against his, warm and silky smooth. A loud collective gasp filled the room behind them, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that Clarke Griffin was kissing him. All of a sudden he could taste the hot tears streaming down her face and then she was gone, the loss of her lips on his left him aching for more. Too shocked to do anything else, he watched as her back disappeared from his view.

He heard Murphy sigh and then Octavia ran upstairs after her best friend. Murphy followed after the girls, only stopping once behind Bellamy. “Bet you can’t pretend that didn’t happen this time.” Then he too was gone.

 

* * *

 

Sandwiched between her two best friends, Clarke let the tears fall. “I can’t believe I did that. Drinking is such a bad idea.”

They had been listening to Echo yelling for over an hour now, using Clarke’s name way too many times. Bellamy hadn’t said much back, but they weren’t sure if it was because she wouldn’t let him get a word in or if he just had nothing to say. Clarke hated that she was the cause of this, she could have kissed Raven or Murphy and no one would have made a big deal about it.  

“Do you think we could move out before they wake up in the morning?” She asked, sobbing into Murphy’s chest.

 

“I don’t know, hunny.” Octavia sighed, rubbing circles on her arm. “Maybe if we knew someone who had a truck or moving van and had some muscles.”

Clarke was a bit hopeful now. “So say I did know someone like that, would you be willing to do this tonight?”

“Absolutely," Murphy said, more than willing to do anything to make this easier for her. “Whatever you need.”

“My boss, Lincoln, has a moving truck that he uses for any art show that he doesn’t host. I know he’d be willing to let us use it. He also has some pretty decent muscles.”

Octavia smiled down at the red-faced blonde beside her. “If he’s willing to help tonight, so are we.” Clarke gave her best effort to smile back and pulled out her phone out.

 _Clarke:_ Hey Lincoln. I know it’s late, but you know how I’m moving tomorrow and why I’m moving? Well, is there any way you’d be willing to lend your truck and muscles tonight? 

 _Linc:_ Of course! Give me five minutes and I’ll be in my way! My cousin, Nyko, is with me too.

 _Clarke:_ Thank you so much!

Half an hour later her phone lit up with a text from Lincoln letting her know that he was out in the driveway. The three of them quietly walked through the house to meet them outside.

“Damn Clarke, I’m sorry. I would have kissed him too. He can’t just pretend it never happened.” Lincoln hugged Clarke after she explained what happened and why she didn’t want to wait.

“Thank you. I just can’t be here in the morning, I can’t face them right now.” She was fighting back tears just thinking about it. “We have to be as quiet as possible. Bellamy and his girlfriend were arguing, but they may be asleep now.” She motioned back at her friends. “You know Murphy, but this is Octavia.”

Lincoln reached out to shake the young girl's hand. “Ah, the famous Octavia. I’ve heard so much about you, it’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

At a loss for words, Octavia smiled at the man standing before her, his hand was soft yet firm in her own. Lincoln slowly pulled his hand away to introduce his cousin to everyone. “This is Nyko.”

 

* * *

 

The sun began to rise, casting shades of pink, purple and orange over the ocean’s calm surface by the time they were saying their goodbyes to Lincoln and Nyko. Since they were having to take the extra precaution of being quiet it had taken a while to get everything they were taking loaded into the truck. Unloading everything into the house was a much different story, it took only a fraction of the time loading it had.

“You weren’t kidding about the muscles on that man, he’s hot!” Octavia mumbled from the couch. “I may have to come visit you at work sometimes.”  

Pulling Octavia to a standing position, she began pushing her in the general direction of her bedroom before she fell asleep on the couch. Thankfully Murphy had made it to his bed, saving her the headache of having to wake him up. Clarke managed to stumble into the edge of her bed, face planting on the soft mattress before falling asleep herself.

“Clarke! Wake up!” She felt Octavia shoving her. “Bellamy is pissed, he’s texted me like twenty times.”

Groaning, she sat up looking for her phone. Sure enough, she had a ton of calls and texts from Bellamy, mostly ask why they left in the middle of the night and why she couldn’t wait till today. There were even a few asking if they could talk later. No, they definitely weren’t going to talk. If she had it her way, she wasn’t going to talk to him for a while. She was still too mortified about kissing him in front of their friends and his girlfriend. Echo, who already hated her, was probably looking to hang her head on a stick as a warning sign. All she had to do was get through the Christmas trip and Octavia’s graduation. Maybe avoiding him the rest of the time would help her get over him.

She wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her. It was just hard for her to watch him love someone else, staying around here for it would slowly destroy her. He was pretending like nothing had ever happened between them, it was obvious that he regretted it. She had been stupid to hold on to that hope for so long, hope that he’d finally love her back. It would get easier once college started and she didn’t have to see him, right?

 

* * *

 

“Hey, big brother.” Octavia greeting him as she walked through the door.

“I didn’t expect to see you back so soon.” It hadn’t even been 24 hours since they’d packed up in the middle of the night and left. To say it surprised him to see her so soon would be an understatement.

“Bell, just because I moved out doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I just don’t want to be around Echo. I don’t like her or the way she is with Clarke and you shouldn’t either.”

“She won’t even reply to my messages, Clarke that is.” He brought the glass he was holding up to his lips, the whiskey sloshed into his mouth. The burning it left behind gave him something else to feel, anything was better than the pain aching in his chest where his heart should be. “I really need to talk to her. Did you know about it?”

Octavia feigned confusion. “Did I know about what?” There was no way she was going to make it simple for him. 

“I keep having this dream about the night of the graduation party, the one we had been drinking at. I saw Clarke sitting alone on the porch swing looking as beautiful as she always does, but she also looked sad. I sat down beside her and pulled her closer to me and she just melted into my side. She started crying and telling me that she was worried that when I left everything was going to change. I kept telling her that absolutely nothing was going to change and, thanks to the liquid courage running through my system, I leaned over and kissed her on the lips and then told her I loved her so much. We spent the night cuddled together in my bed, but when I woke up she was gone. She’s always gone.” He downs the rest of the whiskey in his glass. “It’s not just a dream, is it?”

Sighing, his sister sat down beside him and wraps her tiny arms around his shoulders. “No Bell, it’s not a dream, it’s a memory from that night. She was gone because we were all supposed to go get breakfast that morning. I freaked out when I couldn’t find her, but Murphy finally found her in your room. We tried waking you up but you said you were too hungover and rolled over. When you saw Clarke later that day you acted like it never happened.”

Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill over. “How could I have forgotten? Is she ever going to talk to me?”

“I don’t know. She might, but she thought you were just pretending that it didn’t happen. She thinks you regret it or that you think it was a mistake, then everything with Echo happened. She needs some time. I do know something that will cheer you up though.” Bellamy didn’t say anything as he watched the giddy brunette expectantly. “For Christmas and New Years we are going to,” His sister paused for dramatic effect, “ Italy! Rome to be exact.”

“I’m sorry. What did you say?” That was not close to anything he had been expecting her to say. He assumed they’d choose somewhere with a beach and palm trees.

Octavia dissolved into a fit of laughter, he watched as she tried to compose herself. “Yeah, that’s kind of how I figured you’d react.  You heard me though, we are going to the one place you have always wanted to see.”  

As soon as the words left her mouth she was enveloped in an iron-tight hug. “Thank you, O!”

“Oh, that’s cute, but don’t thank me. I wanted a beach, somewhere tropical. This was Clarke’s idea, she knows how much you’ve always wanted to go. She’s doing this for you. Remember that when she won’t talk to you, she still cares about you.”

Clarke had spent many many nights listening to him ramble on about Ancient Rome, of course, she knew what it would mean to him to be able to go. Making it their Christmas trip so he could spend that time in Italy with them was almost more than he could handle. It was such a Clarke-like thing to do. “Why would she do that right now, why wouldn’t she choose somewhere she wants to go?”

 

“She’s hurt and mad, but you are still one of the most important people to her, that will never change.”

He pulled his sister into another hug. “Thanks, O.”  

Octavia stayed a little while longer before she decided it was getting late. He watched her climb into Clarke’s car and drive off, it felt so strange to him that her home was no longer with him. She was growing up and he didn’t like it very much.

* * *

 

The next three weeks flew by in a blur, Clarke went to work and then straight home. The beach house brought up so many memories of her father, sometimes it was difficult to sleep in the same room he had when he was alive. She managed though, she always would. Clarke continued looking up colleges and writing her research down to compare. On the days Bellamy didn’t have a late class he would pick up Octavia from school and spend the afternoon with her. Clarke made sure she was either at work or locked in her bedroom whenever he drove her home. He’d knock, of course, but his knocks were met with dead silence. He didn’t hear from her or even catch a glimpse of her.

He was a stubborn man though, every day he’d call and text her at least once refusing to give up. At this point, he wasn’t sure she was even reading his messages or if she had him blocked.

He and Echo had plenty more fights about him going away for Christmas and New Years, but he refused to budge on the matter. His sister was more important and he was going to be there for her. He was determined to fix things with Clarke somehow during this trip, not that he knew what to do. Clarke was having nothing to do with him and he couldn’t just break up with Echo. Even if he did leave Echo and declared his feelings to Clarke, she would still get her soulmark and leave him one day. So he did the only thing he could think to do, he loved Clarke from a distance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcome!
> 
> The Christmas trip! They’ll be heading to Italy in the next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was falling asleep as I was editing this, so my apologies for any grammar mistakes in this one. Lol.

They were leaving for Italy five days before Christmas and not one person was more excited than Bellamy Blake. His bags had been packed for a week already, just waiting to be carried out the door. He’d made a list of everything he was taking and had gone over it several times, adding things here and there. Not only was this the one place he had always dreamed about going to, but it was also two weeks with Clarke. There was no way she could avoid him the whole time, right? 

Raven and her boyfriend were originally supposed to go with them, but at the last minute his family begged him to bring his girlfriend home so they could meet her. Raven had gone from being excited to be going to Italy to being extremely nervous about finally meeting his family. It was a pretty big step for the girl, she hadn’t gotten this close to anyone since Finn. Which also meant that until Abby was able to join them for New Years on the 28th, it was just going to be the four of them. 

Right at midnight Clarke’s car, already loaded down with their luggage, pulled up outside Bellamy’s house. Excited, he had been watching out the window impatiently waiting for them. He was more than ready to get this trip started. He was tired of arguing with Echo about him going to Italy. If Clarke hadn’t been going then his girlfriend wouldn’t have had a problem with it, but she was too fixated on that little detail that she couldn’t understand how badly he wanted to be there for his sister. It was bad enough that Echo insisted on walking him all the way out to the car in the freezing cold, the temperature just below 20 degrees. 

“Oh baby, I’m going to miss you so much! I wish you’d just stay home with me!” Clarke could hear Echo using her whiny voice as the two made their way down the driveway. The look on Bellamy’s face said it all, they’d  definitely had this conversation many times before and he was beyond tired of it. 

She turned her attention back to octavia in the passenger seat. “Play some old Simple Plan or Eminem to put him in a better mood once he’s in the car.” Octavia laughed, but scrolled through her music anyways. 

After putting his bags in the new luggage rack on top of the car, he climbed into the backseat beside Murphy’s sleeping form just as  _ Jump _ by  _ Simple Plan  _ roared through the speakers. Chuckling to himself, he knew who was behind this. “Thank you, Clarke.” She simply smiled back at him in return. 

The drive to the airport took them roughly two hours allowing them to arrive an hour before their flight. Going through customs was an easy affair, the customs officers barely even noticing their presence.  Clarke found a seat near their gate as Octavia and Murphy headed off towards the smell of food.  _ Bottomless pits  _ she thought. After a few minutes, Bellamy tentatively sat down the the seat to her left. “Thank you for choosing Rome.” Wide, panic filled, blue eyes met his. “Octavia told me it was your idea.” He explained quickly. 

A shy smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. “Mhmm. Did you pack a scarf? I read that men in Italy wear them all the time.”

He felt himself blush a little. “I, uh, I have three actually.”

“Good. I brought a few in case you or Murphy didn’t.” 

Before he could reply the other two of their little group returned with bags of food, effectively ending the conversation. He smiled to himself, she had thought him and even packed things Incase he forgot. It was a good start. Between the Chick-Fil-A and Chinese food they brought back, everyone boarded the plane with their stomachs full. Of course,  her mom would pay for first class. Bellamy was pretty sure he should feel bad about the amount of money Abby was spending on this trip, but the fact that he could stretch his legs out in a plane was more than enough reason for him to be thankful for that. 

The four of them were facing each other about five feet apart with a fold out table between them. Octavia sat to his right, staring at the clouds out the window. Clarke was directly across from him with some notebook in her hands, Murphy was quietly sitting beside her trying to sleep.

Clarke was reading through all the information she had gathered about her top schools she wanted to attend, all really great choices. She knew her mother wanted her to follow in her footsteps and become the legendary doctor she had the potential for, but that wasn’t where her heart was at. Her father had introduced her to art at such a young age that she couldn’t remember a time without it. It had always been her outlet for stress, anger, fear, happiness, even love. Anything she felt like she couldn’t talk about, putting it down on canvas or paper helped. That’s where her passion was, not a scalpel. 

“What are you reading over?” Bellamy asked, interrupting her thoughts.

“Oh, just some colleges, their prices, and what I need to do to get in.” She momentarily glanced up at him before casting her eyes back down. 

“Colleges?” 

“Yeah, colleges. I told you I was only taking a year off and I’d start when Octavia did.” She reminded him.

“No, I know that. I guess I just figured you’d go to the same one as us and stay at home.” He hoped the panic he was feeling didn’t show through in that sentence. What was he going to do if she decided she didn’t want to stay home? What if she went to the other side of the country?

Looking back down at her notebook she shrugged at his assumption. “I still might, but I do have other places in mind.” 

“Can I see, if you don’t mind?” He needed to know how far away she was trying to go? How far was she willing to be away from him? She handed the notebook over, it was better if he knew now. 

With his heart racing painfully fast, his eyes skimmed over the pages. There were only two colleges on her list that were less than 10 hours away, the one he attended and one two hours away. His heart sank, she wasn’t planning on staying close by. Finally he made it to the end of the list, but that didn’t make him feel any better. The last three schools had been written with a different color pen, almost like and afterthought. “You’re looking at schools in Italy?” At his words, Murphy and Octavia both looked up in surprise. 

“A few actually.  _ Accademiadi Belle Arti Di Roma  _ is the one that I’m really excited to look at. Sienna has pretty great programs also.” She looked between the three pairs of eyes staring at her. “I’ll probably fly to France between Christmas and New Years to look at some possibilities there too.”

“You’re looking at schools across the country?” Bellamy’s heart constricted in his chest, he couldn’t control the panic in his voice now. 

Octavia frowned. “Why so far away?” 

 

“Good job Bellamy.” Murphy muttered bitterly. 

“Me? Why are you blaming me? What the hell did I do?” Bellamy glared at the man.

“Guys, calm down, I’m going to study art. What better places to do that than in Italy or France, they are some of the most beautiful places.” Murphy reached over and grabbed her hand without looking at her. Instead, he fixed his gaze out the window. No one else said anything successfully letting the subject drop. Eventually everyone fell asleep for a few hours. When Clarke woke up, she could feel Bellamy staring a hole in her. She kept her eyes closed and her breathing as even as she could. Maybe he’d still think she was asleep. She wanted this trip to be good, not filled with arguing about anything.

“Why are you running away, Clarke?” Bellamy asked, obviously not fooled. 

Without opening her eyes, Clarke groaned. “We are not talking about this, it’s just college.” 

Bellamy leaned forward, his eyes never leaving her. “I think we are. We both know this isn’t just about going to college, you’re running away, Princess. Why?”

“Bell, maybe you shouldn’t push this here.” His sister warned, but he ignored her. 

“Princess?

“Stop!” Clarke opened her eyes to glare at him. “Stop calling me that! It is none of your business where I choose to go to college or why I choose that particular place.”

“Is it because of that night? The one before I left for college?” This was the first time he had brought it up since he found out it wasn’t just a dream. The first time since it happened, really. 

Anger filled her eyes. “Don’t talk to me about that night.” 

“I think that’s exactly what we should talk about.”

Tears threatened to spill over and down her cheeks. “Now you want to talk about it? A year and a half later? Now that you have a girlfriend? Why do you go back to pretending that it didn’t happen,  you’ve been doing such a good job at it. I don’t need to hear how much of a mistake you thought it was. 

A mistake? How could he think that night was a mistake? “Clarke -.” Before he could finish they were being asked to buckle in and prepare for landing. She wouldn’t be able to avoid him with just the four of them in one place. 

They were staying in a four bedroom apartment on the top floor of the tall grey building. It was a fairly open floor plan, with high walls. A tiny hall with a coat rack, a side table, and a mirror was the first thing past the door. There was open space beyond that with another door on the other side leading to a balcony. To the right was a huge marble top kitchen with an island in the middle. Beyond the kitchen was a hallway that lead to two of the bedrooms and a bathroom that was equally the same size as the bedrooms.

To the left was the living room, it held a television that hung on the wall above an electric fireplace. There was a couch, love seat, and three recliners all made from the softest material they’d ever felt. They were equally spaced out with a coffee table in the middle. To the left was another hallway mimicking the other. 

The bathrooms were identical with a toilet to the left of the door. Two sinks lined the right wall with tiny lights peppered around the mirror. Then through another archway was a big stand alone shower and a huge porcelain jet tub. One closet full of towels and rags were to the right side of the entrance. The bedrooms each contained a king size bed, already made, a walk in closet that contained hangers, two bedside tables, a dresser, and a window. 

The only difference in the rooms was the doors, each one was painted a different color. Purple and blue were on the doors to the left side of the apartment and black and red were  on the doors beyond the kitchen. Octavia, knowing her brother and best friend’s favorite  colors, suggested they choose a room using that method, leaving Clarke and Bellamy on one end of the apartment and Octavia and Murphy at the other.

Luckily, they found a 24 hour cafe just minutes down the road that didn’t involve too much exploring. “So what are we going to do tomorrow?” Octavia asked, rubbing her eyes.

“I think we should find a Christmas tree and decorations to decorate the apartment with.” Clarke mumbles, sipping on her coffee.

Murphy lazily yawned. “That sounds good to me, but can we sleep first? I’m exhausted.”

By the time they walked into the apartment, everyone was dragging their feet. Clarke stripped down to just her t-shirt and fell, face first, onto the bed, within minutes she was snoring. Eventually she was woke up by the sound of hushed arguing coming from the next room over. Groaning, she reached for her phone that she’d thrown on the bed while stripping. Blinding herself, she unlocked her phone to see what ungodly hour it was, 5 am. That means it was only 11 pm back home.

Trying to ignore Bellamy growing voice, she made her way into the dimly lit kitchen. Looking through the cabinets, she finally found the glasses… on the very top shelf. Standing in the tips of her toes, she stretched as far as she could and still couldn’t manage to wrap her fingers around one. 

“Clarke?” A breathy voice came from behind her. She froze, all too aware that the not so long shirt she was wearing had risen up over her bare ass just seconds before. Quickly whirling around, she pulled on the hem of her shirt. “Bellamy? What are you doing in here?” 

“Uh, I heard footsteps and wanted to make sure someone wasn’t breaking in.” He could feel his face turning red because he had just seen her naked ass and they both knew it. 

“I was trying to grab a glass to get some water with, but they are clearly not meant for short people.” She pointed to the top of the cabinet, making sure not to raise her arm in the slightest. 

A laugh slipped out of Bellamy as he moved toward the cabinet and easily grabbed one of the glasses. “Here you go.”

Taking it from his hand, Clarke mumbled a low thanks before going to the sink and turning the cold water on. When she turned back around Bellamy was already retreating back to his room next to hers. With a heavy sigh, she took the water back to her room and tried in vain to calm her racing heart. After sitting the glass in the table beside her bed, she crawled back under the covers. 

Instead of being able to fall back asleep, she was being kept awake by Bellamy and Echo. She knew he didn’t realize how loud he was being or how thin the walls were. Echo was bitching about how Bellamy only text her when he got here instead of calling her. He’d told her multiple times that he had been exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Then Echo had, again,

* * *

moved on to complaining that he’d gone without her. Clarke heard her own name a couple of times and had no clue what that could be about. After an hour and a half of this, Clarke was entirely fed up. Throwing the covers off, she stomped out of her room and pushed Bellamy’s door open. 

“Clarke? Is everything okay?” Bellamy was startled at her sudden approach and was staring at her with a confused expression. Ignoring him, she marched over and jerked his phone away from the hand it had been in. He continued to stare at her with his eyes wide and mouth open. 

“Hi, Echo. I’m sure you can tell who this is. I don’t know if you know this or not, but it is 6:30 in the morning here and these walls are incredibly thin. I’ve been listening to you be a petty bitch for over an hour now and people are trying to sleep. So how about you call back when some of us aren’t doing that, maybe this afternoon.” She hung up the phone before handing it back to Bellamy and slamming his door on the way out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Any comments or kudos are greatly appreciated.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not mean for a week to pass in between chapters again. My charger quit working and I had to order a new one!

The next time Clarke opened her eyes the smell of bacon was filling the air around her, again. Throwing the covers off, she realized just how short her shirt really was and quickly slid on a pair of shorts to cover her exposed bottom. Walking into the kitchen she found Octavia already sitting at the table sipping on a cup of coffee. “It feels early, what time is it?”

“It’s just a little after 9.” Murphy was standing in front of the stove flipping the source of that amazing smell. “Took you longer to get in here than I thought it would.”

Sticking her tongue out at him, Clarke grabbed the cup of coffee from Murphy’s outstretched hand. “Well, I had to cover my ass. I didn’t think I needed to give a second show today.”

Octavia raised her eyebrows in alarm. “Second show?”

“Um, I woke up to Bellamy and Echo arguing and came to get a glass of water, completely forgetting that all I was wearing was this shirt.” She pointed at the shirt she was currently wearing like they couldn’t put two and two together. “Bellamy heard someone walking around and came out here to make sure it wasn’t an intruder at the same time I was reaching up trying to get a glass out of that ridiculously high cabinet. He got a full show of my ass, maybe more.” Although she knew her face had to be red, she kept looking at her friends with their mouth open just staring at her.

Once they got over the shock, they both erupted in a round of laughter. Octavia suddenly stopped laughing and began to look around. “Speaking of my brother, where is he?”

“Probably still asleep, he was fighting with Echo till 630 this morning. These walls are very thin.” She took another sip of her coffee. “That ended when I was tired of being kept awake with their arguing and went in there, grabbed his phone, yelled at Echo that people were trying to sleep and to call back later, and then hung up on her. There’s also a possibility Bellamy will be pissed at me for that when he wakes up.”

“Well, he better wake up fast, the food is finally done.” Murphy said as he moved the food to the table.

“I got it!” Octavia leaped off her chair and headed towards her brother’s room. By the time she returned with Bellamy in tow, there was a cup of coffee on the table waiting for him.

“Thank you, Clarke.” He mumbled before taking a sip of the steaming liquid in front of him. “Not just for the coffee, but for last night as well. I was finally able to get some sleep without her calling back.” Clarke smiled and nodded her head.

Clarke and Octavia were the first to finish eating, leaving the boys to clean up. Clarke took her time in the shower, enjoying the hot water cascading down her tense body. Maybe it could help her forget her embarrassment about flashing Bellamy just hours before. Wrapping the towel securely around her body, she walked into the living room to let Bellamy know their shower was free before going to her room to get dressed. When Clarke returned, Murphy was already in the other bathroom presumably taking a shower. She joined her best friend out on the balcony, they both wore machining looks of excitement while staring out over the city.

By noon they were all dressed and walking out the front door. Finding a Christmas store of any kind was harder than it seemed like it should have been for them. Octavia got distracted by a high-end makeup and fragrance shop that ended with her walking out toting a few bags. They lost Clarke to an art store for half an hour or more. Eventually, they found two Christmas shops about a mile and a half away from each other.

“I say we split up and two of us go to one store while the other two go to the other one.” Octavia suggested. “Clarke and I can go to one store and the boys can go to the other.”

“You have two problems with that, well three actually.” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck. “One is that if you and Clarke go off alone then the two of you will stop at every store on the way. The second problem is that we should have a guy with each girl so we can help you carry things. Your last problem is that Murphy and I have absolutely no decorative skill, it’s always you and Clarke that did all that.”

“There is one more problem,” Clarke added. “Mom gave me one card to pay for everything, that can’t exactly be split between two groups.”

“Well, actually it can.” When Octavia didn’t continue, the other three looked at her expectantly. Rolling her eyes Octavia held up her iPhone.  “Apple Pay.”

“Of course, I didn’t even think about doing that!”

“So I can just add the card to my phone and Murphy can come with me to one store while you and Bell go to the other one. Let me know if you buy a tree so we don’t both buy one.” The younger Blake looked proud of her plan.

“Why do I need to go with Clarke? If you hadn’t noticed, she kind of wants nothing to do with me here lately.” Bellamy did little to hide the pain in his voice.

“Well, because I don’t need you to tell me I shouldn’t buy things. Even more so because you got to see Clarke’s goodies this morning!” Octavia was already pulling Murphy in the opposites direction, leaving nothing but hysterical laughter in her wake.

Bellamy could feel the heat radiating off his face. “You told them?”

“It seemed relevant this morning.” Clarke choked out before turning in the direction of their store. Letting her hair fall between them, she successfully blocked her face from his line of sight so he couldn’t witness how red her face had grown. They made the walk in good time, neither saying a word to the other while taking in the sights around them.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Clarke whispered, being the first to break the silence hanging between them. “I honestly forgot that I wasn’t wearing any pants. I am also sorry if I pissed you off when I hung up on Echo. I just really wanted to go back to sleep.”

“It’s okay, really.” Bellamy waved off her apology. “I didn’t realize how thin the walls were, but I was thankful she didn’t call back.  I was dying for some sleep.” He said nothing about seeing her ass, he’d still been hard thinking about it when she had hung up on Echo. “Clarke, we really need to talk.”

Sighing, Clarke shook her head. “No, Bellamy, we don’t.” She couldn’t take hearing him call it a mistake or say that it only happened because he had been drinking that night. “The time to talk about it would have been the next day, not a year and a half later when you have a serious girlfriend. One that is waiting for you at home.” She opened the door to the Christmas shop and went inside. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

He could feel his heart breaking at her last few words. It did matter, it mattered a lot. He had thought that night was just a dream when he’d woken up and she was gone. If he had known it was really real so much would be different right now. He would have found her the next morning and kissed her as if his life depended on it, he would have confessed how he felt about her while sober. He still could, but instead, he followed her through the door like a good little knight.

The next hour was spent looking through every decoration the store had to offer. Clarke’s phone would ring every now and then and she’d send something back to Octavia to ensure they weren’t buying the same things. In the end, Murphy and Octavia found an eight foot white Christmas tree with fiber optic lights on the ends. Each group only bought a few decorations, too many would have made the apartment look tacky.

It was a little after five by the time they were walking back through the apartment door with bags of full of Christmas colors. Disappearing into their rooms, everyone quickly changed into their pajamas before meeting back in the living room. Bellamy’s heart sped up when he saw how short a certain blonde’s shorts were. Trying to put that out of his mind, if that was even possible, he and Murphy got started on setting the tree up. Clarke and Octavia emptied the bags onto the kitchen table and began organizing them based on where they planned to put them. When the girls walked back into the living room the tree had been completely put together and the boys had started putting hooks on the new ornaments.

“I refuse to hang a single ornament because the two of you flip your shit over spacing!” The older Blake moved out of the way and let the girls through.

“That was one time! I was 16 and you had so many of them clumped together!” Clarke tried defending herself.

“I haven’t dared to try again since The Princess knows what she's doing.” He smirked and handed her another ornament. The two boys kept a steady flow coming till the tree looked absolutely beautiful.

“What about the Star?” The rather short blonde pouted. Bellamy quickly ducked and in one swift motion, Clarke was seated on his shoulders, his head between her legs. “Oh my god!” She shrieked, but still managed to laugh a little. “Give a girl a warning before you sweep her off her feet.” She carefully placed the star on the very top up the tree, taking her time to make sure it looked perfect. Laughing, Bellamy easily returned her to a standing position.

The boys were then hauled through the rest of the apartment to do the hard work of putting more decorations up. They wrapped string lights around the windows and doors, hung mistletoe in a few locations, and hung stockings over the fireplace while the girls sipped on their wine and supervised. It was a little after ten but the time they realized how late it had gotten.

“No wonder I’m starving! Let’s go to that Italian place we passed today.” Murphy groaned, rubbing his growling stomach.

“You do realize that every place we passed by is Italian, right?” Clarke giggled from where she had perched herself on the center island, right next to their third bottle of wine, or was it the fourth? “We are in Italy!”

“Oh my god! Nice one Clarkey!” Octavia did the same high pitched giggle from somewhere in the living room.

“Oh geez! They’re both giggling now.” Bellamy groaned. “This probably isn’t going to end well.” His phone started ringing before anyone could object to what he’d said.

“Hey Bell, let me know if you need me to come pitch a bitch fit again and hang up on her!” Clarke called before he disappeared into his room, answering his phone. They could hear Bellamy arguing with Echo already. Unfortunately, they couldn’t make out what was being said. After 45 minutes of yelling and Echo hanging up just to call back, Clarke’s phone lit up.

Bellamy: _I shouldn’t do this, but help, please. I keep trying to end the conversation and she just wants to keep arguing._

Clarke: _I got you!_

After sending her text she handed her phone to Octavia to read before standing and heading to Bellamy’s room, opening the door without knocking. “Hey, bell! Dinner is ready and we are about to start the movie. Time to get off the phone!” Clarke made her presence known, loudly.

She could hear Echo on speaker phone now. “Is that Clarke? Tell her she needs to go on somewhere. We are busy and this is none of her business.”

Scoffing, Clarke walked over and planted herself right on Bellamy’s lap. She’d probably tell herself this was a bad idea, but the many glasses of wine she’d had were telling her something entirely different. She could feel how hard Bellamy instantly grew beneath her. “Echo, honey, you made this my business when you keep bitching every time you call. This is our Christmas vacation and you are just determined to ruin it. I understand you want to talk to Bellamy, but you could be nicer about it. If I have to confiscate his phone for the next two weeks, I will. Please do not try me on this. These next two weeks are going to be hard enough without you calling and bitching every few hours.” The last thing they heard before she hung the phone up was Echo shouting. “Bellamy if you let her hang this phone up again then you are a single man and I am done!”

“Here you go.” Clarke stood up and Bellamy quickly crossed his legs. “I wasn’t kidding about taking your phone away from you if she keeps calling to bitch and putting this trip in a sour mood. I will do it.” She grabbed his hands and pulled him into a standing position beside her. Whispering, she leaned into his ear. “Don’t worry, that will be our not so little secret.” Her hand brushed over his erection. “I promise. Even though now it seems that you are a single man.” Before he could say anything she pulled him back out to the Christmas festivities.

Murphy had quickly cooked something for dinner and they all sat down to watch Christmas movie. Clarke sat on the right side of the love seat, pulling her legs under her and wrapping up in a blanket. She’d poured herself another glass of wine which was probably not the best idea. “You know the more wine you drink the worse your hangover is going to be, right?” Bellamy reminded her, sitting down beside her on the love seat.

“Maybe so, but I’m enjoying it right now. You can tell me ‘I told you so’ tomorrow.” She winked at him.

Octavia sat in the recliner to their right and pulled the footrest out, propping her feet up. “Murphy, toss me one of those blankets on the back of the couch. Pretty please!” A blanket went flying through the air, smacking her in the face. “Thank you!”

Thirty minutes into the movie Octavia was completely passed out and Murphy was well on his way. Clarke had stretched her leg out into Bellamy’s lap while her butt rested against his thigh. The cover she’d been under was now covering the both of them as he massaged her feet and calves underneath it.

“Bell, not that that doesn’t feel amazing, but you know you don’t have to do that just because my feet are in your lap.” She really hoped he wouldn’t stop, but she was giving him an out.

“I know, I want to do it.” He kept on massaging her feet.

This boy was going to be the death of her. Sure, she got way too drunk tonight and was being more open with him than she needed to be, her plan had been to avoid him and keep her distance. She could just blame the alcohol that’s was still somewhere in her system, but for tonight she was going to enjoy being able to spend time with him like this, the way they used to be. She glanced over at Octavia to make sure she was still deeply asleep.

“Hey bell,  can you keep a secret?” She mumbled sleepily.

“Of course, Clarke, you know I can.”

“I got O a car for Christmas. This way she can go meet you and come over whenever she wants without having to wait on one of us. It’s a Volvo.” She then rolled over to her back so she could see him.

Bellamy’s hands on her legs froze in place. “You got her a car? How?”

“Well, technically mom did. It’s fully paid for and has insurance for the next year. I know what you’re thinking and please don’t be mad. I’m the one who suggested it. Mom just feels the need to try and step up because Jake and Aurora aren’t here anymore, she’s the only parent we have left. She’s going to do it the same way she does everything else, over the top.” She waited for the anger to catch up with the look he was giving her, but it never did.

Suddenly she was being pulled into his lap, his arms wrapping around her and squeezing. She was highly aware that she had one leg on either side of his hips, she was straddling Bellamy. His basketball shorts and her barely-there pajamas were the only things separating them. 

  
“Thank you, Clarke. That means so much to me and I know she’s going to be so happy. You are one amazing woman.” He pulled back enough to look at her. The moments his lips parted she could tell he was also realizing the position they were in. Her eyes momentarily found his lips, remembering how soft they were, how his hands felt roaming over her skin. When she looked back up her eyes locked with his and she knew he was thinking about the same thing, the hunger evident in the way his eyes darkened. It was the same hunger she was tired of fighting.  
  
One second he was staring into her eye and the next he was surging forward, capturing her lips in a searing kiss. Her hands instantly wrapped around his neck, tangling with the soft curls there. His found their way up here thighs to her ass, squeezing, and pulling her impossibly close. With his bulging erection pushing against her, she ached to have him fill her up. Heat pooled deep inside as she began grinding, trying to feed her need.  
  
  
With their lips still locked, he abruptly stood, picking her up as he went. She halted her grinding to wrap her legs around his waist. He carried her to his room, kicking the door shut behind them, before pushing her against the closest wall. She slid her tongue across his bottom lip causing them to part, Inviting her in. Bellamy trailed his hands up and back down her sides sending chills all over her body. He had never been more thankful for these tiny ass shorts she always wore than he was in this moment. Slipping his hand in the opening of them he brushed her clit once before rubbing circles around it, causing her breath to quiver. Her head fell back against the wall exposing her neck to him, he just could not let that opportunity pass as he kissed his way down her neck till he found her pulse point.  
  
Sliding his hand back to her ass, he pulled her away from the wall and walked them backwards till he was sitting in the edge of the bed. Keeping her in his lap, he pulled back searching her face to make sure she was okay with where this was going. Clarke lifted her arms giving him the silent ‘go ahead’ to remove her top if he wanted to. That was a good enough answer for Bellamy, she wanted this just as much as he did. He quickly pulled her tank top over her head and threw it somewhere she didn’t see. Clarke’s plump round breast were on full display in front of him, nipples hard and waiting.    
  
His lips urgently found hers again and he knew he’d never get enough of how they felt on his or the way her hands curled in his hair. It was just as amazing as he remembered, if not better. He continued trailing kisses down her neck, across her collar bone, and finally, achingly slowly, taking her right nipple into his warm mouth.  
  
Moaning, Clarke began grinding down on his growing bulge again, she was already so close. Wanting this to last longer, she halted her grinding and began trailing her hands down till she reached the band of his shorts and slipped under. Running her hand up and down his thick erection she gently caressed his hard cock before tightening her grip causing his hips to jerk forward. “Oh God, Clarke.” His mouth briefly returned to hers before sliding her off his lap to remove their remaining clothes. Pulling her back into his lap once their shorts were no longer in the way, his eager mouth found her nipple once more.  
  
“Bell!” She mewled. “I need - ah!” His fingers found her clit knowing exactly what she needed. “You like that, don’t you Princess?” He asked eliciting a breathy moan he hoped meant he was doing something right. Her body burned at every point it made contact with his skin.     All the time she’d spent missing how his lips felt moving with hers, how his body felt pressed against her, now it was so much better than her memories provided.  
  
Bellamy, moving his hand forward slightly, found her opening while his thumb continues working her clit. “You’re already so wet for me Princess.” He slid one finger in and then another, God she was so tight. Her head fell on his shoulder panting, slowly she began riding his fingers as he pumped them in and out. She was so close, enough that he could feel her walls already tightening around his fingers. Mere seconds after he slipped a third finger in she came apart calling out his name.  
  
Quickly he pulled his hand away and rolled them over so that he was balancing above her. As she was coming down from her orgasm, he slowly pushed into her opening giving her time to adjust to his thickness. Without hesitation she wrapped her legs around him pulling him deeper, completely filling her, stretching her. “Oh God, Bell.” Clarke moaned into the air.  
  
“Are you okay?” He whispered along her jawline.  
  
Wrapping her hands around the nape of his neck she tugged his face closer to hers. “I’m great, It's just been a few years and you’re a lot bigger.”  
  
Bellamy leaned down capturing her lips in a bruising kiss before pulling out and pushing all the way back in. “Ah!” She cried out, grabbing his shoulders. He wanted to take this slow, savor it, and make love to her till the sun and up. Even then, he never wanted to stop. He began thrusting in and out, slow at first, taking his time. He had thought about this so many times before, but those fantasies were nothing compared to having her underneath him. Finding a rhythm they began moving together, she felt so amazing. Slipping a hand between them he found her clit once again. “Cum for me Princess.”  
  
If that wasn’t the sexiest use of his nickname for her, she didn’t know what was. It was enough to send her over the edge, screaming his name. Gently, she pushed him in the chest to get him to stop. “Are you okay?” Of course, he thought there was something wrong. “Lay down.” She motioned, ignoring his question.  
  
Rolling off her he was slightly confused but did as he was told. He realized what she was doing just seconds before his cock disappeared into her mouth, eliciting a moan from him. He let his head fall back against the bed. “Oh my god.”  She was taking him all the way Into her mouth, every inch. He could feel the back of her throat each time she went down. “God, Clarke!” She gently began squeezing his balls, he was getting too close. “Come up here.” Letting his cock go with a pop, she slowly, seductively climbed her way up his body. As soon as she was close enough his mouth was on hers.  
  
Straddling him, she quickly sank down onto his pulsing cock. Growling into her mouth he anchored his hands on her hips. Slowly she moved up and down, pulling back from their kiss. Gradually she picked up her pace, riding him as deep as she could at that angle. He could feel her breast bouncing in his face, grazing his lips. Reaching up he cupped each one before moving to her nipples and squeezing. “These are amazing, more so than I ever imagined.” They looked even better with their soulmark right above them over her heart.    
  
“You’ve imagined this before?”  
  
“So many times Princess.”  
  
His admission shocked her. Had he thought about more than just her boobs? With a new found confidence she slowly raised up, almost letting him slip out,  before slamming back down taking every inch of his thick cock. Every time she slammed back down his groans became more guttural, more animalistic, filled with want and need.  
  
Suddenly, his grip on her hips tightened preventing her from rising up again. She didn’t let this deter her as she leaned forward covering his lips with hers before rolling her hips. He knew he was getting close again, but he wanted to make her cum one more time. Tightening his grip, even more, he halted her movements. Jerking his hips forward he pounded up into her as she leaned back allowing him deeper access while hitting _that spot_. Her walls tightened around his cock as she came for a third time that night pulling Bellamy with her and he cried out her name.

Sliding off, Clarke laid down beside him, both trying to catch their breath. Bellamy rolled over to her wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her tightly against his chest. “Sleep Princess, I know you’re tired.”  He cuddled in behind her and she was too exhausted to argue. The last thing she registered was him kissing her shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading. 
> 
> I’m not good at sex scenes, but there it is! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated.


	14. Chapter 14

When Clarke opened her eyes it was still pitch black on the other side of the only window in the room. Bellamy’s warm body was pressed against her back, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. She could already feel an ache between her thighs before she even moved, reminding her of where Bellamy had been. Smiling to herself, she realized what had woken her up before the sun had even begun illuminating the dark room, her bladder was dangerously full. Gently wiggling out from under Bellamy’s strong hold she got to her feet and headed for the door, the ache between her thighs making its presence painfully known.

Peeking out the door, making sure no one would see her naked body, Clarke sprinted to the bathroom across the hall. As she sat there, emptying her bladder, the doubts began to creep into her, now sober, mind. _What if this had all been a mistake?_ Bellamy and Echo hadn’t even been broken up an hour when he pulled her into his lap. Were They just going to be a couple now or was she just a rebound fuck? He was single and she was there, all too willing. Bellamy loved Echo, not her, never her. That had been painfully obvious in the past few months. Did he plan on working things out with Echo today or when they got back from Italy? Did tonight, with her, mean anything at all to him? She had a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach that this was going to leave her broken, a shell of the girl she had been.

Quietly shutting the door behind her, Clarke tiptoed her way back to the comfortable bed. Something vibrated from somewhere on the floor before she had the chance to crawl back under Bellamy’s arm. After a few more vibrations, it stopped. Clarke was going to ignore it and snuggle back to Bellamy when she heard it again. Kneeling down beside the bed she felt around in the dark, unable to find the phone. She didn’t even know if it was her phone or Bellamy’s, she couldn’t remember if she’d brought it in here. Luckily it started going off again, lighting up from under the edge of the bed.

When Clarke finally picked the phone up she was met with the image of Bellamy and Echo sharing a passionate kiss and from the looks of it, they weren’t even dressed. When the call ended there were over a dozen texts and missed calls, Clarke’s heart plummeted. As wrong as she knew it was, Clarke scrolled through the messages anyways. They mostly said things like _“I love you” “I didn’t mean it. We can’t be over.” “I take it back! I don’t want you to be single!” “I’m so sorry!” “Please answer. I know it’s late but please just talk to me, baby.”_  That one cause her to look at the time, 5:54 in the morning. She eased the phone onto the bedside table, gently enough that it made no noise.

 _Of course!_ She thought. They weren’t really over, they’d talk tomorrow and work everything out. She was just another notch in his bedpost, exactly what she had always been afraid of being. What had she been thinking? It was simple enough, she hadn’t thought at all. She had let her guard down and allowed things to happen. After a few minutes of feeling around for her clothes, she was finally dressed again. She couldn’t stay in this room, but she couldn’t go to her room either, it was too close. She slipped out the door into the hall and straight into the living room where she found Octavia, still asleep in the recliner with an extra blanket thrown over her. Murphy, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

Opening the door to his room, she found Murphy tucked beneath the covers. Crossing the cold, hardwood floor she sat on the edge of the bed, jostling it enough to wake him up. Murphy took one look at the heartbroken expression on Clarke’s face and opened the covers to her. Scooting in, Clarke laid her head on his chest and began sobbing. Wrapping his arms tightly around the crying woman, he leaned in and asked if she wanted to talk about it. Not trusting her own voice, she simply shook her head.

Eventually, her tears stopped flowing and she calmed down enough to speak. “Do you want to go look at some of those schools with me today?”

“Absolutely. It would be my pleasure.”

 

* * *

 

 

The morning sunlight filtered in through the window with pinpoint accuracy straight into his eyes. Groaning, Bellamy extended his arm out to pull Clarke back in close to him but was met with cold sheets instead. His eyes shot open as he raised up to find where she had gone, not realizing how close he was to the edge of the bed till he was laying in the floor, muttering to himself. “What the fuck?”

Looking around he spotted his phone laying on the bedside table, even if he didn’t remember putting it there last night. Unlocking the screen he found 27 missed calls and 61 texts. Every single one was from Echo, none were from Clarke. She did it again, she had disappeared before he woke up, again! He let his phone drop to the floor before getting up and finding some clothes.

“Hey, big brother!” Octavia called from the kitchen table as he walked into her view. “You slept later than usual.”

Realizing he never looked at the time on his phone, Bellamy glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Holy shit! It’s noon already?! I’ve never slept this late in my life, why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

Swallowing the last bite of food on her plate, Octavia got up to put it in the sink with the intentions of washing it later. “Well, Clarke and Murphy left pretty early this morning and I figured if you were still sleeping then you needed it.”

“They left early? How early and where did they go?” _And why hadn’t she woke him up instead?_

“I guess around 7 or 7:30 and to look at some of the colleges on Clarke’s list. There was about 4 or 5 so they’ll be gone a few hours. Murphy didn’t want her going alone since we don’t know where anything is here.” His sister walked back to the same recliner she had claimed the night before. “It’s sweet, I think. They’re so close that it makes me wonder if maybe they will wind up being each other’s soulmate. He’s getting his mark tonight, how exciting!”

“Uh huh.” Bellamy mumbled, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Anyways, I’ve got a killer headache that I can assume is what being hungover feels like, so I am going back to sleep. Wake me up when they get back, I want to hear about the colleges.” He was already walking back to his room before she finished.

 _Soulmates?_ What if John fucking Murphy was Clarke’s soulmate? After last night he wasn’t sure he could handle them being soulmates. He wasn’t sure he could handle watching Clarke be with anyone else. What about Echo? He loved her, he really did, but his love for Echo couldn’t compare to his love for Clarke. However, he and Echo had been together for a while, maybe he owed it to her to see if they could work things out instead of just calling it quits. He really needed to talk to Clarke first. Picking up his phone he ignored the many many notifications and scrolled down to find her contact. Call or text? Call, definitely call.

It rang once, twice, a third time before the ringing stopped. “Blake!”

“Murphy?”

“Why is that a question? Who else would it be?”

“I don’t know, maybe Clarke since it is her phone.” He tried to not sound irritated.

“Oh, right. I do have it, don’t I? She didn’t want anyone to interrupt her, she’s been talking to a few students who go to this school.”

“I need to talk to Clarke now!” He was beginning to grow impatient.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t right now. She’s talking to some guy, a professor I think. Don’t worry, she’s got that whole sweet American thing going for her so no one has been rude to her. Sorry, Bellamy, that’s what she told me to tell anyone who called. We will be back in a few hours, you can talk to her then.” Murphy hung up the phone before he could say anything else. Throwing the phone on the floor, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, we’ve been to four of the schools on your list and you still haven’t told me why you came into my room crying.”

Clarke sighed and took a sip of her outrageously expensive but oh so good frappe. “It’s just - I just - I did something really bad and I don’t want you to think I’m a horrible person even though I definitely am.”

“Clarke, I am the king of doing horrible things. There is nothing you can tell me that is going to make me think any differently of you. You are, without a doubt, my best friend.”

Clarke choked up a bit not being used to Murphy being so sentimental. Nodding her head, Clarke took a deep breath before launching into the story of her night with Bellamy. “Then I woke up and had to pee, which gave me a minute to really think about what had happened. We can’t even seem to maintain a friendship here lately and then we went and threw sex in the middle of it. When I got back into the room I heard a phone going off and at the time I didn’t know if it was mine or his. When I found it under the bed it was his and Echo was calling. It was this really sweet, totally naked, picture of them kissing. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I skimmed through the messages and they were talking about how she was sorry and she loved him. She apologized and said she didn’t mean it. That was when I realized I was just another notch in his bedpost, I was undoubtedly the rebound. He and Echo are going to talk and work things out. That’s who he is in love with, Echo. He’s happy with her. I mean, he just moved her in knowing that it would mean me moving out. That was his choice and he chose her. Last night was a mistake and I was an idiot to think it meant anything more than just sex to him. I drank too much and let my guard down.”

Murphy could see the unshed tears building in her eyes, but he also knew she would never cry in public. “That doesn’t make you a horrible person. He didn’t cheat on her with you, they were clearly broken up. The only thing you need to feel guilty for is leaving me alone with him and going to school at one of these beautiful places here.” That got a laugh out of her. It was small, but it was still a laugh. “I wish I could tell you that it meant something to him. I think it might have, but we’re guys and guys don’t really talk about their feelings with one another. Do I think he and Echo will get back together even if he does have feelings for you? Yeah, I do. That’s the kind of person he is, he will feel like he owes it to her.”

“Yeah.” She sighed into her straw. “You’re right. I need you to help me not be alone with him till after Christmas. Then I’ll fly out to Paris, check out the schools there, meet up with my mom, and fly back together.”

“You got it!” He stood up and held his hand out to her. “Let’s go check out this last school.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Clarke!” The younger blake sibling ran up to her as she walked through the door. “I’m so happy you’re back! How were the schools?”

Clarke turned her body to hide the bags her and Murphy were carrying in. “O! Close your eyes! If anyone peeks inside before I get these wrapped we are going to fight!” She pushed past Octavia and straight to her room with Murphy following close behind her. Once she’d discarded all the bags on the bed Clarke stuck her head back out the door. “Sorry O! I will tell you all about the schools when I’m done wrapping your presents!” She smiled at her then shut and locked the door. 

Thirty minutes later they were still locked away behind that purple door. Bellamy knew he really needed to talk to Clarke, Echo’s calling and texting hadn’t gotten any less persistent since she’d apparently woken up a few hours ago. He didn’t like ignoring her, but he had to know what this meant to Clarke. Tentatively Bellamy knocked on the door that was hiding her.

“Go away, Blake!” Murphy yelled from beside Clarke.

He raised an eyebrow in question. “How did you know it was me?”

“Well, I had a 100 percent chance that it was a Blake sibling so I just winged it.” The door opened slightly and Murphy stuck his head out. “What do you need?”

“Like I said earlier when I called, I need to talk to Clarke." Bellamy said as he tried peeking around the door, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of Clarke.

“I’m a little busy Bellamy, what do you want to talk about?” Came her voice from further away.

“Clarke, you know exactly what I want to talk about.” _Why was she acting like nothing had happened?_ He heard her let out a shaky breath and then the rustling of wrapping paper.

Before long Clarke’s blonde hair replaced Murphy’s at the door. “There’s really nothing to talk about. When in Rome, right? Your girlfriend had just broken up with you and I was there. I get it.”

“Clarke, that’s -.” As if on cue Echo’s ringtone blasted from where his phone was ringing in his hand. Closing his eyes, Bellamy pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

Clarke followed the noise and found the same picture she’d seen earlier that morning, the one of Bellamy and Echo kissing. Pain momentarily flashed across her face, but soon it was gone, replaced with an emotionless stare. “Go ahead Bellamy, you better get that. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your waiting girlfriend.”

He looked back at her face, searching her eyes for something, but they were too distant now. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I need to talk to her anyways.” Clarke shut the door in his face before he even finished.

An hour later Clarke and Murphy carried armfuls of wrapped Christmas presents out and placed them under the bright tree. Bellamy couldn’t help but notice her face was red and splotchy. “Clarke, have you been crying?” His voice was low as he walked over to stand beside her.

“No.”

“I know you better than that.” Or at least he used to.

“I’m fine, Bellamy.”

“Is this about last night? You know we really should talk about it.” He reached his hand out to her, wanting to comfort her somehow.

Jerking away, her eyes met his. “What is there to talk about? We had sex. People do it all the time.” She threw her hands in the air. “Just do like you did last time and pretend it didn’t happen. You have a girlfriend to worry about and we are barely even friends anymore.” He didn’t miss the tear that fell as she turned away from him.

 

* * *

 

Both Blake siblings left around five that afternoon to do some Christmas shopping of their own. Which, of course, Octavia had to wrap because Bellamy was useless in that department. Clarke had stayed in her room going over the colleges they had look at earlier that day, hoping to avoid talking to Bellamy. That was just a conversation she couldn’t deal with right now. A knock on her door brought her back to the present.

“Clarke, can I talk to you for a minute?” Octavia asked, standing in the doorway.

Clarke scooted over on the bed, making room. “Of course, O, come sit with me.”

“I know you’re looking at all of these colleges really far away. I also know that it’s to get away from Bellamy, but could you hold off on that for a year? I’ve never done anything without you and I’d really like to have my best friend with me for my first year at least. We can dorm away from him so you don’t have to see them all the time. I know it’s selfish.”

Clarke wrapped the girl next to her in a tight hug. “Say no more. I will absolutely spend our first year of college together. I love you, Octavia. No matter what happens between me and Bellamy, that will never change.” Octavia threw her arms around the blonde holding her and screamed. “Ouch.” Clarke winced. “That was my ear.”

Octavia didn’t get the chance to say anything before the door was thrown open. “Clarke, is everything okay?” Murphy asked, sounding slightly panicked.

“Yeah-.” She started but her mouth went dry when Bellamy ran in with a towel loosely wrapped around his hips and water still dripping from his curls. It hadn’t even been 24 hours since she’d woken up next to him naked, but seeing him fresh out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel was different. It definitely didn’t help her heart any. She knew she should turn away, but she couldn’t make herself look at anything else.

“What happened, I heard screaming.” The sound of his voice broke her out of her trance.

Octavia was bouncing on the bed beside her. “I'm sorry guys, everything is perfectly fine. I just got really excited!”

“About what?” The boys asked in unison  

“Clarke agreed to wait a year before moving to a different country so we could share our first year of college together.”

“Oh thank God!” Murphy came to sit on Clarke’s other side. “I wasn’t ready to not see you every day.”

“Isn’t this great, Bell?” Octavia eyed her brother suspiciously.

“Yeah, O. That’s good, I'm really happy for you.” He glanced at Clarke before turning and walking away.

So she was at least staying for Octavia, hopefully, they’d go somewhere close to home. He missed her, or the way they used to be. She was his best friend, his soulmark. They weren’t supposed to be this way. He needed her in his life and he had to make her see that. Their mark meant something! He needed to find a way to make her understand, he had to. While he was glad she was staying, it also complicated things. He and Echo had worked things out and were back together, but now Clarke was staying. He was back to having no clue what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Any comments and kudos are, as always, greatly appreciated.


	15. Chapter 15

“Has the thought that the two of you might be soulmates ever crossed your mind?” Octavia glanced from Clarke to Murphy. “Maybe that’s why you are as close as you are.”

Looking at each other, Murphy opened his arms as Clarke ran and threw herself onto his lap wrapping her arms right around his neck. Making sure Clarke didn’t fall into the floor, he quickly his around her as well. “Awe John Murphy, do you want to be my soulmate? We can hug and kiss each other.” Clarke pressed her lips to his cheek as if trying to prove a point. “We could get married, have babies, and bring them back here to Italy!” Octavia was cracking up at the show they were putting on.

Murphy laughed at her enthusiasm. “Sure thing Princess. We can go ahead and practice making those babies.”

“Hey!” Bellamy called out, feeling a touch of jealousy in his chest. It was a heavy feeling he was slowly growing used to. “Get your own damn nickname.”

“No, I think I like this one, it suits her. It’s not like she’s _your_ princess. Didn’t you call Echo earlier or are you still ignoring her every call and text? Trying to avoid telling her you were too busy fuc-.”

“Murphy!” Clarke slapped her hand over his mouth, cutting off his next words.

“How do you know about that?” Bellamy’s face did nothing to hide his anger. “I’m not really surprised that you ran to Murphy when things got too real for you.”

“Of course they got too real! I woke up to your girlfriend calling you! She sent you texts about loving you and being sorry. What was I supposed to do, lay next you knowing you would talk to her today and work things out?” Clarke’s chin quivered with the tears she was holding back. “I have already been the other woman and ruined one relationship, Bellamy. I will not do that again.”

“What the hell is going on?” Octavia yelled, bringing everyone's attention to herself. Clarke buried her head in Murphy’s chest and let the tears she was so desperately holding back fall.

“It’s nothing, O, just a little misunderstanding.” Bellamy told his sister, not letting his eyes leave Clarke.

“A misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding is going to cause Clarke to cry? Clarke, the one who never cries over anything.”

“Yes, Bellamy, please explain.” Murphy added. “Ouch! Why did you just pinch me?”

“Stop it.” Clarke said, barely audible.

Bellamy glared at the man holding Clarke. “Shut up, Murphy.”

“Bellamy, you better tell me what is going on!”

Running a hand through his hair, Bellamy sighed. “Echo broke up with me last night because I let Clarke hang up on her. After you and Murphy fell asleep during the movie, Clarke was telling me something she got you for Christmas. I was so happy about it that I pulled her into my lap and hugged her. One thing led to another and we wound up having sex. I guess she woke up before me and seen Echo’s messages and that’s how Murphy knows about them.”

“You-.” Octavia had to close her eyes and blow out a breath through gritted teeth. “Are you and Echo back together?”

Bellamy stared over at Clarke, unsure if he really wanted to answer that question in front of her. She had told him it didn’t mean anything, but the way she was crying was slowly shattering his heart. She’d find out eventually, might well get it over with.

“Bellamy Blake.” His sister rarely used him first and last name is one sentence.

“Stop!” Clarke shouted, raising her head. “It’s not just his fault. I drank too much and let my guard down. I could have stopped it and I chose not to. I knew they hadn’t been broken up long. It’s not just his fault Octavia.”

“I get that Clarke, but Bellamy answer the question.”

“Yes, Octavia. Yes, we are back together. I love her and she loves me. I owe it to her to put my all into this relationship and work past this.”

“Murphy, will you please take Clarke to my room? I really need to talk to my brother.”

“No.” Clarke said, getting off Murphy’s lap. “You don’t need to yell at him. As I said, I have the same amount of blame in this. I should have known better.”

Sighing, Octavia turned to her best friend. “I know what you said, but I really need to talk to him alone.” Murphy grabbed Clarke’s hand and pulled her towards the red door. Octavia waited till she heard the sound of the door shut before she spoke again. “I know you are both adults and I’m only the little sister, but it’s not okay to use the way Clarke feels about you to get laid because you were single for a night. There are plenty of women in Italy you could have chosen to have a one night stand with.”

“What do you mean? How does Clarke feel about me?”

“Don’t play dumb, Bellamy, it doesn’t suit you. You know how she feels about you. Everyone knows, even Echo. That’s why she hates Clarke. Don’t worry about it though, worry about your girlfriend. You know you’ll have to tell her, right?”

“I know.” Bellamy sighed. “I’ll tell her when we get home from Italy, we will work through it though.” He leaned back as he heard his sister’s footsteps walking away.

“Bell?”

He turned his head towards his sister. “Yeah, O?”

“Why did you do it?”

“No matter what answer I give you, either Clarke gets hurt or Echo does.” Octavia nodded in understanding. “But O? Clarke, she’s my best friend and I need her in my life. I have to make her see that our marks mean something. We’re not supposed to be fighting like this.”

“Don’t worry, Bell. We will think of something.” Octavia promised before disappearing behind the same red door. Being the only one left in the living room, Bellamy stood and sulked off to his room as well.

 

* * *

 

 

When Clarke work up the next morning she was on fire. Not literally, but she was hot enough she could be. It wasn’t until she went turn over that she realized why she was burning up. Murphy was wrapped around behind her, arm tightly wound over her stomach and legs intertwined with hers. While Octavia was currently snoring as the littlest spoon. Her head was throbbing with the worst hangover she’d ever had and the sunlight shining through the window didn’t help a bit. Neither did Bellamy slamming the door open.

“Hey O! Breakfast is - what the hell is going on in here?” He demanded.

His deafening entrance woke the other two that were sandwiching her. Murphy groaned and buried his head between her shoulder blades. In front of her, Octavia bolted up. “Bell? What happened? How did you get on the dropship?” Closing her eye, she fell back onto the bed.

With a confused look, Bellamy shook his head. “Can someone please tell me why the three of you are all asleep in the same bed? And why does Clarke look like she isn’t wearing a shirt?”

 _What?_ Clarke looked down for the first time and noticed her breasts on full display. Well, she wasn’t going to act embarrassed about it now. She felt Murphy’s hand leave her waist and move up her body till he reached his destination, her boobs. He then proceeded to grab and squeeze. “Yep, no shirt there.” He proclaimed, dropping his hand back to her waist.

Clarke chanced a peek at Bellamy, who looked like he was contemplating murder. “Your head is literally between her shoulders, could you not tell without grabbing her?”

“Probably, but where’s the fun in that? I could check for pants next if you’d like.”

“No!” Bellamy barked, taking a step forward.

Groaning, Clarke rubbed her temple. “Can we take the volume down a bit?”

“Are you hungover?” Bellamy’s voice came out softer than it had a few seconds ago.

“She should be! She drank almost a whole bottle of whiskey!” Octavia held up the nearly empty bottle as proof. “Then she tripped and fell with a shot glass in her hand, shattering it and embedding shards of glass in her hand.”

Now that Octavia mentioned it, her hand was throbbing too, but she didn’t dare pull it out from under the blanket. She was afraid to look at the damage that had been caused. This was just further proof that nothing good came from her drinking.

“What?” Bellamy’s face grew paler than should have been possible. “Are you okay?”

Octavia pretended like her brother hadn’t even opened his mouth and kept on talking. “Her shirt was covered in blood, but I think I got all the glass out. Anyways, as you can tell, her chest is much bigger than mine so none of my shirts fit her. Murphy’s wouldn’t fit over them either. So instead of going to her room and getting a shirt she just drunkenly decided not to wear one. It’s not like everyone here hasn’t seen them before. Then she tried getting Murphy to strip so she could find his soulmark. Spoiler, it’s a black and grey seahorse that curves around his belly button. After all of that, we passed out.”

After a few seconds of no one saying anything, Bellamy took his shirt off and threw it to Clarke. “Here you go. I know it fits you because your closet is full of my shirts. Please put it on, your boobs are distracting. Let me see your hand also.”

 _Her boobs were distracting?_ She couldn’t even think clearly with him standing there in nothing but the shorts she had slipped her hands under just a few nights ago. However, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that little detail. “Bellamy, can you get me off? I don’t really want to use the hand I can’t see since I don’t know how bad it is it.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’d love to get you off again.” Murphy mumbled into her back, earning him a hard kick.

She raised up with her boobs on full display, purposefully now, and held her hand out to him. He reached forward to take her hand, pulling her onto her feet on top of the bed. When her hand finally emerged from under the blanket, the shirt that was wrapped around it was no longer white. Blood covered the piece of cloth in deep red patches.

Bellamy’s eyes widened in alarm. “Holy shit Clarke!” Without waiting for her to put his shirt on, Bellamy tugged her hand a little more in an attempt to get her moving towards the living room a little faster. Unfortunately, Clarke’s feet were still under the blanket. Her feet twisted in the material caused her to trip and fly forward through the air. In an attempt to catch her, Bellamy let go of her hand and threw his arms out, missing her entirely. Clarke’s bare breasts wound up smashed right in Bellamy’s face.

“Well, that’s a bit awkward.” Murphy teased, now sitting up on the bed, while Octavia howled with laughter. Wrapping an arm under her knees, Bellamy was able to twist her body, already missing the feel of her breasts on his face, and carried her out the door.

“You were just complaining that I wasn’t wearing a shirt and now you won’t even give me time to put this shirt on. Will you make up your mind?” Clarke grumbled on their way to the living room.

“You can put it on as soon as I’m done making sure you still have a hand. My sister was right, we’ve all seen them. Besides, you didn’t seem too bashful about having them exposed before.” He gently sat her down in the couch, making sure not to jostle her hand more than necessary.

Clarke shrugged. “If you want to be distracted by them, as you said before, go for it. I’d walk around naked all the time if I could. I’m not a fan of clothes, they’re constricting and bras get uncomfortable. Plus, my hand probably isn’t that bad. I was drinking a lot last night, my blood was thinner than usual.”

“I, for one, have no problem with that idea.” Murphy sat down on the table top beside Clarke, handing her a glass of water and two Advil. “When in Rome, right? I vote you do it for the rest of the time we’re here.”

“I have zero problems doing that, but right now you’d have to help me out of my shorts. You know, injured hand and all.” She knew Murphy was doing this just to get a reaction out of Bellamy. It was wrong and she should have put a stop to it, but she could help but wonder if the brooding man in front of her would shoot the idea down.

It didn’t take long for her wonders to be answered. When Murphy’s hand tugged at the band of her shorts, Bellamy smacked it away. “Don’t even think about it.” He growled. “Put your damn shirt on Clarke.”

After she managed to slip his shirt on, with a little help from Bellamy, she leaned back into the cloudlike cushion. Keeping her poorly wrapped hand on her chest, not entirely sure she was ready to look at it. Bellamy didn’t try to rush her or pry her arm away from her chest. He watched her closely, waiting for a hint that she was ready. Taking a deep breath, Clarke slowly lowered her hand and rested it on her lap.

“Okay, let’s see what we have going on here.” Bellamy picked her hand up and began unwrapping the blood covered shirt. There were at least 15 cuts across her palm, some fairly deep. “I’ll go find a pharmacy and get some medicine and bandages.”

“It’s okay, Bellamy. You don’t need to worry about taking care of me.” She pushed off the couch with her good hand. “I need to make sure all of the glass is out before I put any medicine on it anyways.”

He watched as she disappeared into the bathroom they shared. He was always watching her leave, watching her back as she left him behind. He never went after her, it wasn’t his place to do so. He had a girlfriend, one who was already insecure. Clarke would find her soulmate one day and he would be lucky enough to have the right to go after her.

He looked over at the sound of his sister approaching. “Please tell me you have thought of something. This hostility isn’t us. It never was.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have slept with her as soon as you were single. You knew you’d try to work things out with Echo.” His sister answered sitting down beside him.

“Echo already hates Clarke, this will just give her another reason to try to ice her out of your life. Clarke will go too Cause she won’t want to cause problems.”

“Echo doesn’t hate her, Murphy. She’s jealous of Clarke, kind of. She thinks Clarke is in love with me and I know how ridiculous that sounds. I’ve tried to tell her that it’s just not the case. Clarke is just a really sore spot for her.”

Murphy and Octavia shared a look across the room. It wasn’t as ridiculous as he thought it was. “You know what? We have been here for 3 days and have done zero sightseeing. We haven’t been to any museums or art galleries.” Octavia made her way to the kitchen to start breakfast. “We haven’t even gone and looked at Christmas lights. I read that Italy is a sight to behold at night, illuminated by the soft glow of Christmas lights,”

“Did you just quote that from the article I sent you?” Clarke asked, walking back into the living room with a towel on her hand.

“Uh, maybe. How was your hand? Was there still glass in it?”

“One piece, just a little shard. No big deal. So, what I heard was we are going to spend the day sightseeing and doing a little shopping. After that, we’re going to find where Italy is decorated?”

 

* * *

 

 

Although Clarke took a scalding hot shower she still put Bellamy’s _NOFX_  shirt back on. After pulling her favorite ripped jeans up over her ass, Clarke dug through her bag and slipped into her converse. Her hair had dried into blonde curls cascading over her shoulders, stopping just above her bra strap. Throwing her black leather jacket on, she pulled the purple door closed behind her.

Bellamy and Murphy were slumped on the couch in a deep discussion about whatever movie they were watching. All she knew was that it had someone named  _Candy Cane_ and had the guy from those racing movies in it. Bellamy’s eyes met her as she sat in the edge of the table in front of them. Pausing his conversation with Murphy, Bellamy eyed her suspiciously. “I’m not getting that shirt back, am I?”

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “No, probably not, but you’re already wearing another shirt so..”

Bellamy smiled and shook his head before returning to their conversation about Candy Cane. The name sounded like a stripper to her, but whatever. A few minutes later she heard Octavia walk out of her room.

“You look very Peyton-ish today.” Octavia said as she joined them in the living room.

“I feel it too.” The blonde laughed.

“Peyton? Who is Peyton?” The two boys had abandoned what they were talking about now. 

“You are kidding me, right? We only watched this show like every day growing up. I know you’ve seen some of the episodes.” Octavia was more than surprised that her brother didn’t know.

Clarke shook her head disbelievingly. “You know ‘people always leave’ or ‘First of all, you don’t know me. Second of all, you don’t know me.’ How about this one? ‘I guess I’m just a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside a bitch.’” Clarke quoted.

“Oh!” Bellamy snapped his fingers. “The hot broody blonde who gets shot!”

“That’s the one!”

“Okay, guys, enough about One Tree Hill. Let’s go see Italy!” Octavia squeaked from the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile since I last updated. Had a medical thing come up with my toddler and I've been focusing on that and haven't been able to type this chapter up. 
> 
> And I thought I was being so smart writing the story out on paper before typing any of it. Let's just take a moment to laugh! 
> 
> Anyways. Here it is!

Bellamy, in full-blown nerd mode, was completely awestruck as they made their way through the history museum. It was actually really adorable and something Clarke would have gladly pointed out had things been better between them. Instead, she kept her thoughts to herself and silently followed behind her friends. She had no idea how to act around Bellamy anymore much less what to say to him.

Clarke wasn’t any better when they walked through the doors of the art gallery, she had never been more excited about anything. There were so many beautiful and emotional pieces crafted with anything from charcoals to pastels. Metals of all kind and even recycled plastic had their own places here. Clarke felt more at peace with herself walking out of the building than she had in a while. It was a moment of clarity for her, she was making the right decision in choosing art as her major.

“Hey, Bellamy, look!” Murphy pointed to a small brick building tucked away amongst all the bigger buildings that towered over it. “An ancient history book store.” Clarke watched as Bellamy’s face lit up and he slowly made his way to the building. Pausing momentarily, studying the brick images around the door, Bellamy pushed through and disappeared. If he had been excited about the museum, that was nothing compared to his excitement now.

After spending an hour and a half inside they walked out with Bellamy carrying four bags of books and Clarke with one from the art history section. “Maybe we can stop by the apartment real quick and drop them off.” He looked down at the bags sheepishly. After taking a detour to return to their apartment, they left the bags just inside the door and continued on their sightseeing adventure, stopping every now and then at one shop or another.

By the time the sun had started dropping down behind the horizon, Clarke was exhausted. “Hey guys, I think I’m going to head back, I'm worn out and still kind of have a headache.”

“Want me to walk you back? It’s safer that way.”

“No Murphy, it’s okay. I know how much you love Christmas lights, you should go on with them. I will be fine.” She hugged him tightly. “Thank you though.”

Clarke hadn’t been walking for more than a few minutes when she heard her name being called from a distance behind her by a voice she’d always recognize. Spinning around she saw his familiar shape jogging towards her. “Bellamy? What are you doing?” She asked when he had finally caught up with her.

Bellamy huffed out air from between his parted lips. “Well, currently I’m trying to catch my breath. Did you know you walk incredibly fast?”

Clarke laughed, deep and genuine. “I had to learn to walk fast just to keep up with you. My short legs have always had to work double time to match your long ones!” After her laughter died down a bit, she realized he never answered her original question. “What are you doing here though?”

Finally catching his breath, Bellamy looked down into Clarke’s deep blue eyes. “I’m coming with you. I know that you can take care of yourself and walk fast enough to get away, but it’s still not safe.”

“What about the lights? They’re your favorite part of Christmas.”

“You came into my life 12 years ago and not one time since then have I ever looked at Christmas lights without you.” He started walking towards their apartment trying to avoid any eye contact.

“What about last year?”

“Not even then, it’s our tradition. Unless you’re there Clarke, I just can’t.” He shrugged still trying to avoid looking at her.

Clarke kept looking forward down the street. “You didn’t go with Echo?”

“No, I didn’t. Clarke, you are my best friend. I miss you and I miss us, the us we were before. I know you and Echo don’t get along and I get that, but I need you in my life. I love you and we share a soulmark. That has to count for something. You are my family and you have been since you were six years old. Nothing is going to change that. Not you avoiding me, not having sex, and not Echo. I know I’m rambling on, but all this hostility and not talking isn’t who we are. It never has been.” Bellamy sighed and dropped his head to look at his feet. “I just miss my best friend.”

By the time Bellamy finished his speech they were at the door of their apartment. Clarke knew she should stay and talk to him, but she felt a panic attack skimming the surface ready to crash over her. So she did the only thing she could think to do. “Excuse me.” She breathed out and ran to her bedroom. She managed to get the door locked before any tears fell. She could hear Bellamy’s footsteps as he entered his room and walked back to the living room a few minutes later.

Leaning against the wall Clarke slid to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. _Breathe_ she thought, _ground yourself._ She tried focusing first on things that she could hear and smell. Bellamy had turned the TV on and was softly singing to the theme song to whatever show was currently playing. Clarke sniffed the air and the wonderful scent of her _passion peach_ perfume filled her nostrils reminding her of when her dad had bought it for her just days before she lost him. With her hands holding her knees to her she could feel the pain radiating from her already sore hand and taste the blood from where she was biting her lip. _Just open your eyes._ Slowly she did what she was telling herself to do and focused on the picture she had brought from home of the whole group before everyone left for college, not a single person was left without a smile on their face. 

Finding herself on Bellamy's shoulders she knew she wanted him to always be in her life. He was important to her and fate or destiny or whatever created the soulmarks thought so as well. Bellamy was right, they did mean something, even before they knew they shared a mark they had always been close. Was fighting with Echo worth losing Bellamy? _No._ Wasn't having him as a friend better than not having him around at all?

Wiping her tears away she quickly changed into some shorts and a tank top before walking back out of her room a little less of a mess than she was a minute ago. She found Bellamy lounging on the couch reading one of his new books. Without saying a word Clarke sat down beside him, lifted his arm, and leaned into his side pulling her knees up. Bellamy looked down at the blonde curled into his and could tell she had been crying. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and squeezed.

“You're right,” Clarke whispered into his side. “We are best friends, always have been and always will be. Absolutely nothing should change that. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting.”

“No, Clarke. You don't have anything to be sorry about.”

“Let me finish. I'm also sorry for dashing away from you after that heartfelt speech. I felt a panic attack coming and I needed to calm down before I came back out here to talk to you. I didn't want you to see me like that, it was a weak moment.”

Bellamy wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug. “Clarke you are anything but weak. Panic attacks do not mean you are weak, they mean you've been trying to be strong for too long and you need a moment to just feel it all.” Bellamy let her go pulling back just enough to cup her face in his hands. “You are one of the strongest people I know. You've gone through so much and you are still a wonderful and kind human being.”

Fresh tears quickly sprang into her eyes. “Thank you, Bell, that really means a lot to me. I'm going to try to get along with Echo. I know you love her and she's so important to you, I just want you to be happy.”

If only she knew it was really her who made him happy, but it wasn't like that for her. As much as he wanted it to mean more to her than just a night in bed he was afraid it didn't. He can't imagine she would tell him to be with Echo if she felt for him even a fraction of what he felt for her. “Having you in my life Clarke, that is what makes me happy.”

After their heart to heart, they agreed to start this renewed friendship with their long overdue movie night. Bellamy found a movie while Clarke laid down on the couch with her feet in his lap, a blanket draped across the both of them. It wasn’t very far into the movie when Bellamy looked over and noticed Clarke was peacefully asleep already. He could carry her to her room, but he didn’t want to give up the close contact in case it would disappear tomorrow. Leaning his head back on the couch letting his eyes flutter till they were closed, just like old times. It wasn’t until Octavia and Murphy got back a few hours later that they both woke up and made their way to their beds.

The next day was a blur of planning for Christmas Day. Between shopping for Christmas dinner and last minute present and stocking stuffer shopping, Clarke managed to clean the entire apartment including the laundry. Even if they didn't have anyone coming but them she was going to make sure it was perfect. Later that night, once the sun had set, Bellamy and Clarke set out to see as many Christmas lights as they possibly could.

By the time they were walking back into the living room, all the lights had been turned off. “Do you want to get changed and watch a movie? Have some Bellamy and Clarke time?” He flipped the closest lamp on casting a shadow through the apartment.

With a bright smile, Clarke nodded and slipped into her room. She had been careful not to wear her favorite shorts around Bellamy since that night and she wasn't going to change that now. Grabbing a longer pair of basketball shorts and one of Bellamy's shirts she had stolen over the years she crossed the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

After stripping out of her tight clothes and throwing them in the hamper by the door, Clarke turned and stared at herself in the mirror silently judging herself. Echo was tall and lean, not an ounce of fat on her. She knew she wasn't fat, far from it. It was hard not to compare herself with someone else though. After washing her makeup off and brushing the tangles out of her blonde curls, Clarke slipped into the clothes she'd brought with her. Taking one last long look in the mirror, she opened the door and nearly ran into Bellamy.

“Ready Princess?" His eyes slowly slid over her. "You look good in my clothes." Clarke, not trusting her voice, nodded before brushing past him. Unlike the night before, Clarke laid her head in Bellamy's lap. Instantly Bellamy's fingers began running through her hair, a habit formed over many years of doing the same thing. “Do you want to just put it on the Hallmark channel and watch whatever Christmas movie comes on?”

"Sounds good to me, Bell. You know I love those movies.”

Clarke made it through two movies where the girl gets the guy she loves before falling asleep. The last thing she remembered was Bellamy pulling a blanket over her and whispering “Merry Christmas, Princess" in her ear. If she didn't know any better she'd swear she felt him kiss her head before sleep completely took over.

The next morning Clarke woke up to Bellamy gently nudging her. “Princess, wake up. I made breakfast.” He said lightly.

Barely opening one eye she found him kneeled down beside her head. “Bell? What time is it?”

“Just a little after 9. I thought maybe we could have breakfast together while we wait for O and Murphy to wake up.

Clarke sleepily smiled at the freckled boy in front of her. “I’d like that.” Bellamy stood, held out a hand to pull her up off the couch and lead her into the kitchen. The table was covered with blueberry pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs with cheese, cinnamon toast, and grits. The smile that was already plastered on Clarke’s face widened as she threw her arms around his neck. “Bell! You made all my favorites!”

“Merry Christmas, Clarke.”

They sat at that table for an hour talking and laughing, joking with one another like it used to be. There’s was no talk of jealous girlfriends or of the pain of losing a parent. Neither said anything about the one night they shared together.

“That was so good!” Clarke plopped down on the couch after putting her plate in the dishwasher.

“What was good?” Murphy questioned as he walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes.

“Breakfast is on the table. Once you and Octavia have eaten we’ll open presents.” Bellamy walked towards his sister's room. “Wish me luck!”

“Better you than me this time!” Clarke yelled as he opened the door. “Good luck!”

After breakfast all four of them sat around the living room table. “So who wants to distribute the presents?" Octavia asked.

Bellamy was already standing to head over to them. “I will.”

They took turns opening each present and sharing hugs, the floor was covered in wrapping paper, bows, and boxes. Clarke seized the moment and cleared her throat. “So, Octavia, you have one more present to open.”

Octavia glanced back over at the tree, not seeing anything there. “I do?”

Bellamy watched as Clarke pulled out a small black box from her purse and hand it to the young girl. Octavia carefully unwrapped and opened it before pulling something silver out. 

“A key?” She looked up, confused. “To your car?”

Clarke shook her head. “No, it’s a key to your car. It was delivered the day we left, it’s at home right now.”

“You got me a car?” Octavia’s voice took on a disbelieving tone.

“Well, technically mom bought you a car. It’s paid in full and has a complete year of insurance on it. She’ll pay it year by year in case you want to trade it at any time. It’s a 2019 Subaru Ascent. Now you don’t have to wait for me or Bell to go see him or come home from practice.”

A smile broke out across the younger Blake’s face. “You bought me a car!” Suddenly she threw herself at Clarke wrapping her in a breathtaking hug. “I’m going to go call Abby and thank her profusely.”

After she was sure Octavia was no longer in hearing distance, Clarke leaned over and nudged Bellamy’s shoulder. “There’s also a tracking system in case she’s ever in trouble or lost or something. I figured that might save you a few heart attacks. Just don’t invade her privacy because you think you can’t trust her.”

Bellamy chuckled and wrapped his arms around the woman standing next to him. “Thank you, Clarke.”

 

* * *

 

 

Later that evening, once everyone had taken their presents to their rooms and the living room, was finally clean again, Clarke stood on the table in the center of the living room. “Hey guys, I need you all to come back in here please!” She yelled.

“Clarke, are you that upset about being short?” Murphy joked as he sat down beside Octavia on the couch.

“Seriously Clarke, come here before you fall!” Bellamy reached for her, but she took a step back.

“No. Guys I have some really important news to tell you!” Bellamy nodded in her direction but didn’t move away.

“Someone is going to have to share a room with someone else.”

“And why is that exciting exactly?” Murphy asked.

“It’s exciting because Raven and Zeke are going to be here tomorrow! They decided they’d had enough time with his family and wanted to surprise us. Of course, they didn’t have the address or plane tickets so they had to call me.”

“That’s amazing. I’ll give up my room and just room with you, Clarke.” Octavia was more than willing.

“I also asked them to stop and get a notebook with an unfinished drawing from my old room, Bell. Can you tell Echo so they don’t surprise her or anything?”

“God, yes. Now, will you please get down from there?” Bellamy grabbed her waist and this time she didn’t fight him. Lifting her off the table he gently set her down on the floor. The rest of the night was filled with music and laughter.

The next morning was buzzing with excitement as Octavia moved all of her things into Clarke’s room. As soon as there was a knock at the door everyone was rushing forward ready to see their friends.

“Raven!" Octavia exclaimed, hugging the girl standing in the doorway. Clarke moved forward and wrapped her arms around the two girls.

Bellamy’s shook Zeke’s hand and Murphy grabbed some of their luggage to help haul it into their room. They settled in with Clarke and Bellamy sprawled out on the couch, Murphy, and Octavia in the recliners and Raven and Zeke curled up on the love seat.

Octavia grabs the remote and began scrolling through the movies. “Can we watch _The Princess Switch_ again?”

“Or we could watch _Bird Box_  and finally see what everyone was going on and on about.” Zeke offered. To his surprise, everyone nodded in agreement.

30 minutes into the movie someone knocked at the door and the group on the screen are trying to figure out if they should open the door or not. Suddenly there is a very real knock on the door behind them. Octavia knocked the bowl of popcorn over and she’s pretty sure Murphy screamed. No one moves and another round of knocks sound from the other side of the door.

“Oh, you big babies.” Clarke mutters before standing and walking towards the door. Placing her hand on the knob she takes a deep breath before jerking the door open. “Hel- Echo? What are you doing here?”

Echo, not paying a bit of attention to the girl standing in front of her, shoves past Clarke causing her to trip backwards and fall landing on her bandaged hand.

“Bell! Baby! I missed you so much!” Echo locked her sights on Bellamy with the intentions of running into his arms.

“Echo? What the hell are you doing here?” He asks as he brushed past her held out arms and bends down next to Clarke. “Did you not even notice Clarke standing there or that you knocked her down?”

“Who cares? I’m here to see you!”

“I care.” Bellamy stood pulling Clarke up with him.

“Are you okay?” Murphy asked walking up beside her.

“Yeah.”

Not to be deterred, Echo wraps her arms around Bellamy and planting her lips on his for the longest 10 seconds of their lives. “Well, when Raven stopped by to get something for Clarke I made the spontaneous decision to follow them!”

“Why? I thought you were going to your parent’s today?” Bellamy obviously did not share her enthusiasm.

“I didn’t want to because you left me and came here. Why are you acting like this isn’t the best thing to happen?” Echo poked her bottom lip out.

“Let’s go talk in my room.” Bellamy sighed and cast an apologetic look in Clarke’s direction. She gave him a weak smile and watched as they both went in and shut the door behind them. She thought she had at least a week before she had to see them together again. The fact that it hurt **_this_ **bad was a little unexpected.

“Are you okay?” Murphy asked for a second time.

If she opened her mouth she knew the tears would come so she just shrugged and looked at him, eye glistening. She knew he understood and could tell she needed a distraction. “Come on guys, we’ll go be tourists.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Echo, you can’t just show up like this when you know why I’m here. I need to be here for my sister and I can’t do that if you’re expecting me to spend time with you.” Bellamy tried to reign in his irritation, but he failed miserably.

“So what? You want me to go back and spend New Years alone?”

“No, babe. Go spend New Years with your family, just like I’m doing. We will go do some stuff today and I’ll show you around what little of Rome I’ve seen. Tomorrow you get on a plane and go see your parents. Don’t waste what time you have with them.” Bellamy was hoping she would listen. He really didn’t want to tell her what happened between him and Clarke while they were still in Italy.

“You still love me, right?”

“Of course.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Shall we go see some of the sights?” Hand in hand they walked out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always any comments or kudos or what not is always appreciated. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Just 4 more and an epilogue left!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y'all. I've had a double ear infection. My face and ears were so swollen I couldn't even hear anything. So typing has been out of the question! But here it is. Chapter 17!

As Clarke hurriedly made her way down the dimly lit street, she couldn't help but wish she had left earlier with Raven, Zeke, and Octavia. _I'll be fine_ she hoped. Murphy normally would have kept her company, assuring her that every shadow she saw and every noise she heard wasn't someone about to abduct her. Admittedly she had probably watched _Taken_ and _The Call_ too many times to be healthy. However, Murphy had met a girl at the bar they had gone to and she wasn't about to ruin that for him.

When she finally made it through the door it was surprising to see all of the lights out. The only exception was the lamp beside the door. _Thank you, Octavia._ Once she got closer to her room she could hear a faint moaning coming from Bellamy's room. _Of course,_ she rolled her eyes at the thought. She quickly changed into her pajamas before grabbing her notebook, that Raven had so kindly brought her, and headed to the balcony.

Not only was Octavia spread out across the entire bed, but there was also no way she could sleep in the living room and listen to Echo's moans knowing what Bellamy was doing to cause them. The balcony was her only option. She made herself comfortable and covered her legs with one of the blankets from the couch. Letting the pencil take over she began to sketch the view in front of her.

A little while later she heard giggles mixing with Murphy's voice. Looks like she wasn't the only one not getting any sleep tonight. Turning her attention back to her view, Clarke continued with her outline. She was so caught up in her work she didn't hear the approaching footsteps.

“I see you couldn't sleep either."

Nearly jumping out of her chair, she turned to find Raven closing the balcony door behind her. “oh my God, Raven! You scared the bejeezus out of me!"

"I'm so sorry!” Raven said, laughing hysterically. Which made Clarke think she wasn't sorry in the least bit. “I didn't feel like listening to Murphy and whoever he brought home for the night bumping uglies. I went to your room first and heard the same awful sound coming from Bellamy's room. I guess that's why you are out here.”

"That and Octavia is all over the bed. I figured it would just be easier to sleep out here.”

"Girl, you are not sleeping out here on this balcony, you can room with us. Zeke won't mind and the bed is big enough.”

Sighing, Clarke grasped Raven's hand and squeezed. “Thank you."

“Now, go on and finish your project you got going on there." Clarke smiled and returned back to the sketch again.

 

* * *

 

After Echo had finally fallen asleep, Bellamy slipped out into the kitchen to find something for his dry throat. The wine didn't seem like a good idea so it was either water or orange juice. Filling his glass up, he gulped down three glasses of orange juice before his throat felt better. As he was finishing off his glass a voice broke through the silence.

“Oh, God!" Someone moaned loudly. _It must be Raven and Zeke._ After placing the glass into the sink he headed back to his bedroom. Before he could step out of the kitchen he heard something else, something that caused him to freeze in place.

“Oh my God Murphy!" A voice that was not Raven breathily moaned.

No, it couldn’t be. Clarke was in her room with Octavia, she had to be. There was no way she was having sex with Murphy just days after they had been together. He quickly walked to her room and peeked in. His heart dropped into his stomach when there was only one figure with dark hair in the bed. Quietly he pulled the door closed and slipped back into his room. Climbing into bed beside Echo he felt pieces of his heart break a little more. Tears silently pooled into the corner of his eyes as he drifted off to sleep.

 

________________________________

 

When Clarke woke up the next morning Raven and Zeke had already gotten up and she had the whole bed to herself. She took a moment to enjoy the quiet emptiness of the room. However, that moment was ruined by Murphy and his one night stand having sex again for what seemed like the third time already. Stopping by the bathroom to brush the haystack on her head, Clarke stepped into the kitchen to find Octavia eating breakfast with Raven and her boyfriend while Echo and Bellamy sat on the couch watching some show.

“Sorry for taking up the bed last night." Octavia said as soon as she saw her.

“It's okay, Octavia. I promise." 

“Is that Bellamy's shirt?” Clarke looked up to see Echo glaring at her. 

She smiled her sweetest smile at the woman. “It sure is! Would you rather I take it off and walk around naked?”

"No one wants to see that.” The brunette hissed.

"Speak for yourself. Like I said the other day when Bellamy was looking at your hand and you didn't have a shirt on, I'd be okay with you doing just that every day.” Murphy walked up wrapping his arm around her. She really hoped he had washed his hands before doing so.

“I can't say I disagree with him, Griffin." Raven shouted.

“Why were you shirtless in front of Bellamy?” Echo questioned but was ignored  

"Weren't you supposed to leave for Paris and your precious schools this morning?” Bellamy's voice was filled with ice.

“With the fact that I promised O that we would do our first year of college together, I didn't really think checking out a couple of schools really mattered. Mom is just going to meet us here instead.” Clarke shrugged. " Unless you're trying to get rid of me.”

“It would be nice. Maybe then I wouldn't have to hear you and Murphy fucking while I'm in the kitchen getting orange juice.”

"Oh, that's rich coming from you.” She spat back.

This time Bellamy stood to face her. “What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

“Considering when I got back last night I could hear you and Echo from the living room. By the way, I still have never had sex with Murphy. How many times do I have to tell you that before it gets through your thick skull!?”

"You guys really were loud last night,” Octavia added. "I had to put my headphones in and blast music.” 

"That's different. Echo is my girlfriend.” He defended himself.

“Your point?” Clarke was seeing red now. "What does it matter? I did not sleep with anyone last night!"

“I heard you last night, Clarke! Stop lying to me about it! It hasn't even been a week and you're not even together. Doesn't that make you a bit of a whore?” He knew he was going too far, but he couldn't stop the words from spewing out.

Clarke’s feet began moving her forward before she realized it was even happening. Stopping just inches away, the palm of her hand made an eerie sound when it connected with his face. “You don't get to call me that since you had no problem fucking me and we damn sure weren't together.”

There it was, out in the open. Echo's eyes widened and Raven gasped. Well, if Echo knew there was no point in trying to hide it. “You're right, I didn't. Now four days later you're fucking someone else.”

"I’m sorry, what? The two of you…..had...four days ago?"  Echo's voice trembled as a tear slid down her cheek.

“When we broke up Clarke and I had sex. We can talk about it in a minute.” He turned his attention back to Clarke.

“Bellamy, Clarke slept in our room last night." Zeke tried to diffuse the situation, but Raven pit her hand on his and shook her head. They weren't listening anyway.

“I DID NOT SLEEP WITH MURPHY! Get that through your head!"

Before Bellamy could accuse her of lying again, a short brunette in a mini skirt and 6-inch heels walked into the kitchen. “Ciao. I overheard your fight, I think I can clear it up. I was the only one with him last night. Clarke left the bar before us and I didn't see her when we got here.” The young woman said in an extremely Italian accent.

Clarke threw her hands in the air. “Thank you!"

“I'm going to take this lovely woman to breakfast, away from you crazy people.” Murphy turned and walked out with his arm around the Italian woman. 

“Well, this is a bit awkward." Octavia said between sips of her coffee.  

“Clarke" Bellamy reached out to her, but his hand fell short when she stepped back a few feet.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Clarke forced herself not to sound angry. “I promised I would try to get along with your girlfriend, so you may want to go talk to her privately before she bursts into tears.” Clarke's tone had a certain finality to it.

“Thank you, Clarke." Echo whispered before Clarke walked to the balcony grabbing her notebook from the table beside the door.

 

* * *

 

“You had sex with Clarke?" Echo asked as soon as the bedroom door cut them off from everyone else.

“Yes."

She looked at him disbelieving. “That's it?"

“I mean there's really no point in trying to deny it, not that I would.”

"Were you ever going to tell me?”

"Yes, Echo. I was going to tell when I got back home."

“Why her? She is the one person who makes me feel insecure in this relationship. How did it happen?” There was a coldness in her eyes now that hadn't been there before.

"Clarke has never given you any reason to feel that way. We grew up together, literally the bedroom over. Of course, we are going to be close.” He explained leaning against the door. "Clarke and Octavia had gone through like four bottles of wine and I was brooding. We put in a movie to watch and Murphy and O fell asleep pretty quickly. Clarke had her feet in my lap and was telling me that she and Abby bought my sister a car. I just pulled her into my lap and hugged her then the next second we were kissing. We had a long talk and she's going to get along with you, try to at least. I am hoping that you will do the same.”

"You had sex with Clarke and now you want me to get along with her and pretend it didn't happen?”

“Yes.”

Echo didn't say anything for quite some time, she only stared at Bellamy in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. Eventually, he moved from leaning against the door to sitting on the bed a few feet away from her. His mind drifted to Clarke and what she was doing. Apologizing for what he had said was at the top of his to-do list. Bellamy was so lost in his thoughts he didn't hear Echo talking at first. “I'm sorry, what did you say?"

 Echo rolled her eyes, annoyed that Bellamy was paying attention to something other than her. “I asked if you are in love with Clarke?"

Closing his eyes, Bellamy let out a heavy sigh. He was tired of lying all the time. Lying to Echo, lying to his sister, lying to Clarke, and lying to himself. He was in love with Clarke Griffin.

“Are you going to say anything?"

He opened his eyes to look into his girlfriends. “Yes, I am.” 

“Yes, you are? You are what? In love with her or going to answer me?” 

Bellamy sat up a little straighter. "I am in love with Clarke." He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders by saying it out loud. Admitting he loved Clarke for the first time to anyone, even if it was his girlfriend, was an amazing feeling.

Echo immediately started pacing around the room. “No. No, you are supposed to be in love with me. Not Clarke, me! You are in love with me damnit!”

"I love you, Echo, I do. I really care about you, but I am and always have been in love with Clarke. There is nothing you or anyone else can do that will change that. She is going to find her soulmate one day and I know I'll have no chance.”

"So what?” Echo slung her hands in the air, close to being hysterical. “You're just settling with me? Is that it?"

Hesitating, Bellamy didn't want to answer, but he had to be honest. "It's not like I don't care about you and enjoy being with you Echo, but I guess so. I mean, if that's how you want to see it."

Echo paced back and forth a few more times before she stopped in front of Bellamy and straddled his lap. “That's okay baby. I'll make you love me, I'll make you happier than she ever could.”

"As long as you understand that I will always be in love with Clarke.” Bellamy wasn't going to lie to her anymore.

"Fine."

 

* * *

 

 

When Bellamy returned from dropping Echo off at the airport Clarke was nowhere to be found. “Where is she?"

Raven grabbed the remote to mute the television. "Why do you want to know?”

“Unless you are going to apologize for being an ass earlier then you can wait till she gets home.” Murphy added.

"Apologize? For what?” He knew what he needed to apologize for, but he didn't like being told to do so.

"For what?" Raven's eyes shot to his. “You have got to be kidding me, Blake! You slept with her and then got back together with Echo knowing how Clarke feels about you. Then you come out here like some jealous lover because you thought she was having sex with Murphy when you were really having sex with Echo. Her being your girlfriend doesn't mean a damn thing. If you wanted Clarke to think having sex with her didn't mean anything to you then you succeeded.”

"Why does everyone assume I know how Clarke feels about me? If that was the case things would be different!”

"Because she's in love with you, ya damn fool!” Raven quickly covered her mouth.

Bellamy had already begun shaking his head. “She's not in love with me and even if she was it's only a matter of time till she finds her soulmate.” Without saying another word he shuffled off to his room and slammed the door. He knew he had overreacted earlier, but the thought of Clarke sleeping with someone else just four days later really hurt. Sighing, he pulled his phone out. 

 _Bellamy:_ Can we talk when you get back? Alone.

 _Princess:_ I don't think it's a good idea for us to be alone with Echo there. I don't want her to think anything is going on.

 _Bellamy:_ Echo is flying to her parents like we agreed on.  

 _Princess:_ We don't really have anything to talk about.

 _Bellamy:_ Please Clarke.

 _Princess:_ Fine.

Pulling one of his recently purchased books out, Bellamy lounged back on his bed. He was nowhere near in the mood to deal with Murphy or Raven. If Octavia hadn't been gone with Clarke it might have been bearable. Halfway through his book, he heard Clarke and Octavia walk through the front door, but she didn't come talk to him.

 _Princess:_ I'm going to take a shower and check all of my bruises first.

 _Bellamy:_ Bruises?

He waited for a reply, but none came. _Why did she have bruises?_  Before he could stop himself he was opening his door and slipping into the bathroom. Jerking open the shower curtain his eyes roamed over her naked and bruised body. “How did you get the bruises, Clarke?"

“Oh my God! Bellamy!” Surprised, she attempted to cover herself and failed. “What on Earth are you doing?"

"It's not like I haven't seen you naked. The bruises, Clarke, how did you get them?” 

Rolling her eyes, Clarke continued her shower under Bellamy's heated gaze. “We went ice skating and fell a lot. It's not that big a deal, Bell."

"Let me see Princess.” His hands touched every bruise on her body leaving a trail of burning heat. When Bellamy's fingers brushed the dark bruise in the inside of Clarke's thigh his mouth went dry. 

“Bellamy, stop. If you want to talk to me then close the curtain so the water doesn't splash out and talk.”

Doing as he was told, Bellamy stepped back, pulled the curtain over, and sat on the edge of the counter. “I just want to say that I am so sorry about this morning. I was jealous and had no right to say any of that. I damn sure  shouldn't have called you a whore.”

“I accept that you are apologizing, but it's going to take me some time to fully forgive you. It wasn't fair of you to get mad at me because you thought I was sleeping with anyone when you did just that. I love you, but I am still mad at you. Now let me shower!" He could hear the smile in her voice.

”Fair enough. I really am sorry, Clarke.” He said quietly before walking out and closing the door behind him. 

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. In fact, so did the next few days. All of them filled with shopping and sightseeing, laughter and jokes. They showed Raven and Zeke around all of their favorite places, including the all-night cafe from their first few hours in Italy. They even went back to the ice skating rink and acquired a lot more bruises. Except for Zeke, who grew up in Michigan and had been ice skating since he could walk.

Abby arrived on the 30th but unfortunately could only stay one night as she had added two more conferences to speak at. Most of her stay consisted of her catching up on the sleep she hadn't been getting. Bellamy gave his room up for the night and slept on the couch, even though Murphy offered more than once to share his room.

They decided to stay in the apartment for new years so Octavia could drink as well. As the countdown began they all crowded around the balcony, ready to watch the sky light up. At the stroke of midnight, Raven kissed Zeke and Octavia kissed her brother's cheek. Bellamy watched as Murphy leaned down and touched his lips to Clarke's cheek in the same way Octavia had his. Seconds later the sky was aglow as dozens of fireworks lit it up. His eyes never left a certain blonde, one who was more of a beauty than any firework could hope to be.

* * *

 

Bellamy walked out of his room the following morning to find Murphy in the middle of cooking breakfast while Zeke laid out the plates and utensils. He glanced over to the girls removing all of the ornaments and lights from the tree. The majority of the decorations on the walls had already disappeared. 

“Bell! I'm so glad you're awake." Clarke called him over. “There's something hanging over there that we can't reach. I don't even know how it got put up there if we can't reach it.”

"I can't believe we're leaving in just two days.” Octavia’s face fell a little as she said the words. 

“I know! It feels like it went by so quickly, but we really did do a lot.” Clarke added.

“The food is ready!” Murphy called from the kitchen. They all took their seats around the table and began covering their plates with food.

After breakfast, everyone helped clean up the table and kitchen. Eventually, they got around to taking down the rest of the decorations and boxing them up to be sent home. “Okay, who wants to help me take these to the FedEx building?"

Bellamy walked over to pick up a couple of boxes. "I will."

“Me too." Murphy called, drying the last plate off.

“Well, this should be fun." Clarke huffed. “The two of you better behave.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later Clarke walked back into the apartment with a big shit eating grin plastered on her face. Following her was a cloud of brooding mixed with a little bit of wounded ego.

“Why does my brother look like someone ran over his foot?”

Clarke looked back at Bellamy and Murphy, laughing. “Well...”

“Shut up, Clarke." Murphy growled before stomping off to his room and slamming the door.

“It was his idea to see who could get more phone numbers on the way back, Clarke won. Girls and guys were all too willing to give her their number.”

Clarke held up her handful of phone numbers. “That's not even all of them. Some actually grabbed their phone and put their number in and one guy actually wrote it on my hand.”

Laughing, Raven high fived Clarke. "That's my girl!”

Bellamy, just now noticing that both of them were dressed up, pointed at their outfits. “Going somewhere?"

“We're going to have a date night since our Italy trip is coming to an end.” Raven smiled at them briefly before pulling her boyfriend out the door.

Not too long after they had left, Murphy emerged from his room. “I'm going to go meet up with Ontari, the girl from the other night. Don't wait up.” He winked at them before walking out the door as well. 

“I guess it's just the three of us tonight." Octavia walked into the living room with a smile on her face. “Let's have a movie night, it'll be like old times." 

Halfway through the second movie Octavia was snoring from her place on the couch. Bellamy, being the good big brother he was, carried her to bed before going to bed himself. Clarke, on the other hand, made sure the apartment was clean. The last thing she made sure to do was the leave the light on next to the door for when everyone else came home. 

After an hour of dealing with Octavia rolling from one side to the other and slowly taking over the whole bed, Clarke gave in and retreated to the couch. She was still awake when Raven and Zeke walked through the door ripping each other's clothes off and when Murphy was drug through wearing a metal collar and chain. That was definitely a kink of his that she could have gone the rest of her life not knowing.

Bellamy, once again, woke up in the middle of the night with a dry mouth. After pouring a glass of water and downing it he finally heard the moans coming from two separate rooms. For the first time in a year, he wasn't worried about Clarke sleeping with Murphy. He finally knew, without a doubt, that she wouldn't do that.

On his way back to bed he noticed Clarke laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. “What are you doing out here?"

“Your sister can't share a bed to save her life. There's a reason we've had separate rooms since we moved into that house.”

"Come on, I'm not going to let you stay out here listening to all that.”

Clarke sat up meeting his gaze. "Are you sure?”

Walking over to her, Bellamy grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch. "Yes.”

Letting Bellamy pull her to his room, Clarke tried not to think about the last time she was in this room wearing the same clothes. Bellamy wrapped his arms around her in the middle of the night and she didn't push him away, there was no harm in letting him sleep like that.

Before they knew it they were on the plane heading back to their normal lives and Italy was just a memory now. Even though it was mid-afternoon when they landed it was still a 17-hour flight with turbulence. Needless to say, they were exhausted. Raven and Zeke said their goodbyes and set off to find their car. Bellamy and Murphy loaded Clarke's car with more luggage than they had brought to the airport. Echo met them outside when they dropped Bellamy off and even managed to smile at Clarke. It wasn't much, but it was progress.

As soon as they pulled up to the beach house Octavia's eyes lit up and she began squealing in the back seat. Clarke hadn't even come to a complete stop yet and the excited girl was already jumping out and running over to her new car. Knowing she would be out there for a while checking it out, Murphy grabbed her bags and hauled them inside. Clarke took one last look at her best friend's happy face before shutting herself in her room and passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> As always any comments or kudos is greatly appreciated!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so admit it. Who watched the leaked episodes? I haven't yet, I'm trying not to watch them. 
> 
> I just don't know how strong my will is! Lol 
> 
>  
> 
> I really didn’t mean for two weeks to pass this time, but I started watching an older show called Haven and didn’t work on anything. Lol. 
> 
> Anyways. Here it is. The soulmark chapter.

It took a few days, but the normality finally returned to their lives. Clarke went back to work and Octavia entered her last semester of high school. Murphy, Bellamy, and Echo continued their second year of college. Murphy, wanting to bring in some cash, applied for a job at one of the bars across town. Game night became a routine again, now with less hostility between Clarke and Echo. 

Valentine's day had never been Clarke's favorite holiday and this year was no exception. Echo had convinced Bellamy to throw a party and Clarke was refusing to leave the couch. It was bad enough that she had spent the day before helping Echo decorate the house, make a fantastic musical playlist, and pick out all of the snack foods. Things were better between her and Bellamy and even with Echo, but that didn't mean she wanted to watch the be the perfect happy couple on Cupid's day.

Octavia threw her hands in the air, exasperated. “You can't just sit here all day!"

Clarke took another sip of her chocolate milk. "I've done it before. Never underestimate my ability to idle.” 

"Fine, Clarke! Fine! Suit your damn self!”

"Have fun! Just tell them I'm sick and don't feel like getting out of the house.” Clarke called seconds before she heard the door slam.

She spent the next few hours lounging on the couch in her pajamas catching up on her current favorite show. One of the main characters had just been taken by her abusive husband when a knock interrupted her binging. Not expecting anyone, Clarke grabbed the baseball bat she kept by the couch and slowly tiptoed over to the door. The second round of knocks echoed through the house just before Clarke's hand grabbed the doorknob. With her heart racing, she slowly wrapped her hand around the knob ready to jerk it open and face whoever was waiting on the other side.

“Clarke? Are you okay?" A very familiar and deep voice asked through the door.

Pulling the door open, Clarke stared at the man wearing a tight, red Cupid shirt. “Bellamy? What on Earth are you doing here?"

He held up a bag containing a big bowl. “I brought soup.” Bellamy's eyes slid down to the object still in her hand. “And you brought a bat. That's my girl!"

Clarke leaned the bat against the wall before stepping to the side enough to let Bellamy in and followed him to the kitchen. “Bellamy, why did you bring me soup at eleven at night?”

"Octavia said you were sick and we both know that you're not really the best when it comes to taking care of yourself. Have you eaten anything?” He asked while getting a smaller bowl from the cabinet and pouring some soup into it. 

“Uh, well… I … no.” She muttered, looking down.

"That's what I thought." He picked up the bowl and walked into the living room. "Come on, you need to eat something. It'll make you feel better.”

"Bellamy.” Clarke followed him to the couch. "What are you doing here? What about your party? I'm sure Echo wishes you were still there.”

"Echo probably hasn't even noticed that I left. She invited so many of those sorority girls and I just couldn't stand to be there anymore. I'll head back in a little while.”

"I knew there was a good reason I didn't go.” Clarke laughed.

Bellamy eyed her suspiciously. “You mean besides being sick?"

“Oh, right. That too."

"So I found a five-season show on Netflix about these people who live in space and send their kids down to a post-apocalyptic Earth. Wanna see if it's any good?” 

"Absolutely.” Clarke's smiled as Bellamy pulled the show up on Netflix. “Well, if it's not good then hopefully there's at least some eye candy in it.”

Bellamy stayed long enough to watch the first four episodes before Echo realized that he had left and begun blowing his phone up. They agreed their movie night for the foreseeable future would be binging as many episodes of this show as they could fit into the night. Their friendship had finally returned to what it had been before. They'd text throughout the day and randomly call each other. Echo would even join them on the nights they binged their new favorite show sometimes, but she disliked the main guy.

With Clarke's birthday rapidly approaching, she made everyone promise to not even think about throwing her a party. Unfortunately for her, no one listened. Everyone else loved it, but to Clarke, it was just a reminder. A reminder that in a year she would be waking up with a soulmark, one that didn't match Bellamy's. She knew she would never love anyone the way she loved that stupid boy. Her mind had already been made that when she was old enough she would have her mark removed.

Clarke knew this day was coming, but she was still entirely unprepared for it. The whole week leading up to it had been filled with tears, panic attacks, and vivid dreams of one of the worst days of her life. On the one year anniversary of Jake and Aurora's death, the four of them sat around the two graves leaning on one another. Clarke had made Abby promise to take the morning off work and be there with them. Murphy and Raven showed up to support them, even Marcus Kane managed to take some time off and be there.

Sure, maybe sitting around two headstones having a picnic wasn't exactly a normal thing to do, but they knew Jake and Aurora wouldn't want them to be sad and crying. They would want them to be happy with life and moving forward, not stuck in the past. Clarke glanced at her friends, her family, gathered around and felt incredibly lucky to have each and every one of them.

On the way back home, Clarke sat in the front because Octavia wanted to sprawl out in the back and take a nap. It had been a hard day for her, no matter how tough she acted. A girl always needs her mother and no one can replace her. Clarke turned to stare out the window at all of the Bradford Pear trees they were passing by. 

“Those were always your favorite, the Bradford trees." Bellamy finally broke the silence. 

Clarke looked over at Bellamy, nodded her head and smiled. “They're always so beautiful.”

"Clarke, can I ask you something?"

“Of course."

“Okay, last year during the funerals.” Bellamy paused, unsure of exactly what he wanted to know. “During the funerals, why did you completely cut me off when it came time to bury mom? You just stayed with Murphy the entire day. You had no problem letting me take care of you for Jake's, but what if I wanted to take care of you during mom's funeral?”

With a deep sigh, Clarke looked back out at the passing line of trees. “That's exactly why. You kept me together for my dad's funeral, you kept me sane. You have no idea how much I truly appreciate that. I knew you'd try to do the same thing the next day, you wouldn't have let me take care of you. All of your attention would have been focused on me and Octavia needed you, her brother. I couldn't be there for you without taking you away from your sister.” 

Bellamy didn't say anything else so Clarke kept her attention to everything out the window that they were leaving behind. After a few more miles Clarke was tempted to say something else, but things had been going so great and she didn't want to ruin it again.

“You're right." Bellamy eventually breathed out. “I would have put you as the priority instead.  My sister needed me and I wouldn't have been there. My sister, my responsibility. Thank you for reminding me of that.”

Smiling, Clarke twisted around to face the backseat as they pulled into her driveway. “Come on, O. Wake up. We have to get things packed for your trip tomorrow.”

"I'm still picking the two of you up in the morning, right?”

"Yes, big brother” Octavia's groggy voice came from the back seat.

“Why don't the two of you just stay the night with me?”

Clarke pulled the door handle and slid out of Bellamy car. Looking back at him she rolled her eyes and pointed at his sister. “Because _someone_ has a problem with having anything packed before she's supposed to leave.”

“So go pack, I have no problem waiting." Bellamy turned the car off as if to prove it.

“Bell, we just got it to where Clarke and Echo aren't at each other's throats all the time, let's not test that with a sleepover.” Octavia laughed as she slammed the door. "Goodnight, Bell."

Early the next morning, after a few tearful goodbyes, Octavia was on a plane headed for England with the rest of her soccer team. She was going to learn about where it originated and play with some of the most famous plays. More importantly, she was going to have a week of fun with her friends.

Getting in the car, Bellamy closed the door and stared at the airport in front of him. “Do you think she's going to be okay?"

“She will be fine, Bellamy. Besides you should probably worry more about Illian than about her being in England.” 

"Illian? Who is Illian?” 

Laughing, Clarke pulled the seat belt over her chest and buckled it in. “He's a boy on the soccer team that she's been practicing with here lately. They're not allowed to sleep in the same room, Bell. Don't go all big brother from another country.”

“You've got to be kidding me!" Bellamy scoffed. “Do you know how many field trips I went on in high school that I snuck off with a girl and for laid? Those weren't even overnight trips, much less a week away in England!”

“That does not surprise me in the least bit, but I think we can trust Octavia.”

“Why didn't you tell me about this boy before now? She's my little sister, Clarke.”

Clarke shrugged and pulled her phone out to check the time. “It wasn't my place to tell you about Illian. She will come to you when she is ready to.”

"Clarke, you just told me though.”

"Hush, no I didn't. Now can we please hurry? There is a new artist that I'm supposed to be meeting at the gallery. Lexa Matthews.” 

"Fine.” Bellamy grumbled as he sped up. 

 

* * *

 

“I'm so sorry Miss Matthews." Clarke apologized as she ran into the art gallery.

“It's okay. Are you Clarke Griffin?" The woman asked, slightly confused.

 "I am.”

"No offense, but you are not what I pictured. I thought you were going to be a guy."

Clarke let out a breathy laugh. "I get that all the time. Let me show you around and then we can talk in my office, Miss Matthews.”

“You can call me Lexa."

Clarke spent the next two hours showing Lexa all of the works they were showcasing at the next exhibit, the studios she could work in if she wished to, and talking about what she would submit the exhibit following this one. If Clarke didn't know any better she would have sworn there was a little flirting going on, but she was trying to remain professional.

“Okay, so if you could have four or five pieces in about six weeks that would be lovely. Any questions?” Clarke held the door open for Lexa to walk out before her.

“I do have one question. Two actually, depending on how you answer the first one. Would you like to have coffee sometime?” Taken by complete surprise, Clarke's mouth dropped open and she stared at the brunette standing in front of her, unable to form an audible reply.

“I'm sorry! Was that too forward or do you have someone already?" Lexa began backtracking.

“No. Nothing like that. You just took me by surprise, that's all. I'm a little out of the whole dating thing, but yes I would love to.” Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke could see Bellamy parked and waiting for her. With them running late that morning there had been no time for her to go home and get her car. He was undoubtedly trying to pay close attention to them. “Here's my number, call me." Clarke pulled out her card with the gallery logo and handed it to Lexa.

“One more thing." Lexa quickly, yet gently pushed her rosy red lips against Clarke's and kissed her. Too soon Lexa pulled away and scurried off in the opposite direction without a backward glance. Clarke was left standing in the sidewalk alone, stunned.

“Who was that?" Bellamy demanded as soon as Clarke was in the car.

“Lexa."

“Lexa? As in Lexa Matthews that you were meeting? “ 

Clarke shook her head. "Yes.”

“Is that how you say bye to all of your new artists? Cause I've got some sketches back home you could look at.” Bellamy was aware that his jealousy was probably showing through. 

“Not all of them, just the ones who aren't afraid to pull their heads out of their asses.”

"What is that suppose to mean?” 

Sighing, Clarke leaned her head back against the seat. “Nothing Bellamy. Can we just go?"

 

* * *

 

“MURPHY!" Clarke yelled as soon as she was in the beach house.

“In here." His muffled voice echoed through his bedroom door.

“Are you decent?” she asked, not wanting to walk in on his naked ass. Again.

“Morally? Not really, but I am wearing pants if that's what you want to know.”

"Great!” she pushed through the door. “I have a date, I think"

“You think?’’

"Well, I was doing the business thing with our new artist today. When we were leaving she asked me out and kissed me.”

“Wow!" He pulled her over to the bed and sat down face to face. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Are you ready?” 

Clarke took a deep breath and blew it out. “You know, I thought about that on the way over here. I think I am. Will I ever love anyone as much as him? No, absolutely not. That doesn't mean I don't have love to give. Things are good. He loves Echo and we have our friendship back. Echo and I are finally getting along. I deserve some happiness too. Bellamy either doesn't know or doesn't care how I feel about him and I deserve a chance with someone who does value how I feel.”

Murphy squeezed her in a bone-crushing hug. "I am so proud of you.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Octavia came back from England she was indeed dating the boy on the soccer team, much to Bellamy's dismay. Illian began coming to game night and even gave Bellamy a run for his money when it came to their knowledge about history.

With the end of the school year quickly approaching, Clarke and Echo got busy planning Octavia's graduation party. Decorations, lists, and strings of tea lights were scattered everywhere at both houses. Abby hired a caterer to bring as much finger food as possible. They were hosting the party at the beach house and inviting the entire graduating class and whoever they decided to bring.

Lexa was coming over before the party to officially be introduced to the group. To say that Clarke was nervous would be an understatement. They had been spending more and more time together the past few weeks which usually ended in Lexa sleeping over and making breakfast the next morning.

Clarke had begun pacing in front of the door because time was passing by achingly slow. She was about to peak outside when a knock on the door halted her footsteps. When Clarke opened the door she was pulled into a deep passionate kiss that reminded her of where that mouth had already been.

“Lexa," Clarke whispered against her lips. “I missed you too. Come on in and meet everyone." She pulled Lexa through the door and began pointing everyone out.

“This is Octavia and her boyfriend, Illian. She shares my sword mark.” Octavia took Lexa's hand and shook it. 

“That's Raven and her boyfriend, Zeke. They're the geniuses of the group.” Raven followed Octavia's lead and took her hand.

“You already know Murphy because he doesn't know how to knock before opening doors.” She pointed as he flipped her off. " The last over here are Bellamy and his girlfriend, Echo.”

“I share her other mark. Nice to meet you." Bellamy nodded.

"I'm glad you could come. Now we just need to get Murphy paired up.” Echo laughed at his alarmed expression.

Lexa winked in Murphy's direction. “Oh, he's always welcome to join us."

“I might take you up on that.”

Before anyone could react to that, the doorbell rang with the first group of guests. Before long there were over 160 teenagers dancing around the beach, swimming in the ocean, and eating. Octavia had a blast, but it almost wasn't worth listening to a hungover Murphy complain about cleaning up the mess. Not that he actually helped clean anything.

The following week Clarke and Octavia both received their acceptance letters to Ton DC University two hours away. Knowing they were going to dorm together, Clarke went ahead and started buying all of the necessities they were going to need and some they didn't actually need. Just like that, it was summertime and in two short months, she and Octavia were leaving for college. However, before that, she would be turning 18 and would no longer be in Clarke's legal care. It was a strange feeling.

Lexa had started attending game night with the group as well. She fit in pretty good with everyone, but Bellamy didn't like her. He couldn't even pinpoint an exact reason. He just didn't like her and made no extra attempt to include her in anything. It's not that he was openly hostile with her, but he didn't trust Lexa at all.

Octavia's birthday party was much like her graduation party, but without all of the screaming teenagers. There was a small gathering of family and friends on the beach with presents and a huge cake.

Illian thought this would be the perfect time to tell Octavia that he was moving to California to pursue a modeling career and didn't think a long distance relationship was something he could be faithful to. He was not so politely walked out by Bellamy and Murphy, but it was Zeke who surprised everyone by giving Illian a black eye.

 

* * *

 

 

Things were good, great even. Instead of a dorm room, they'd already rented an apartment just off campus, but close enough to still be able to walk to class. Clarke and Octavia had spent a majority of the summer buying all the furniture and decorating it. Murphy, Bellamy, and Echo were starting their third year while Raven and Zeke were beginning their second year.

Lincoln assured her that when she came back after college that her job would be waiting for her, she couldn't have been more grateful. That job had become so important to her and Lincoln was such a great friend. Life was good, great even. Until it wasn't.

“Can we talk?" Lexa sat up from where they were cuddled in the couch watching _The Vow._

“Of course, baby. What's up?" 

“I want you to know that I have really thought this through and it was far from an easy decision.” Confused, Clarke nodded and encouraged Lexa to continue. 

“I'm breaking up with you."

Clarke sat up facing her. "I'm sorry, what?’ 

"I'm breaking up with you. I've been around for a few months now and I've noticed a few things. Bellamy doesn't like me, at all. I'm pretty sure that is because he is in love with you and I think you are in love with him as well.”

"No, you're wrong. Bellamy is in love with Echo.” Clarke, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, stood up and began pacing.

“You didn't deny being in love with him though." Lexa paused, waiting for Clarke to say anything, but she didn't. “You are, aren't you? You're in love with Bellamy.” 

“It doesn't matter. He is in love with Echo and I care about you.”

Lexa stood and wrapped Clarke in a hug. “You leave for college in two days, this is for the best. Bellamy might be a complete fool, but he is in love with you, Dove.” 

Lexa walked out of her life with a small bag of items she had left there and a piece if Clarke that thought this was her second chance at love. Maybe love just wasn't in the cards for her. Refusing to wallow in self-pity, Clarke grabbed a book she had recently bought and headed over to Bellamy's.

A few days ago Clarke had found a collectors edition of one of Bellamy's favorite books, she gladly paid the not so little price for it. Knowing he and Echo were out for date night, Clarke let herself in. She climbed the stairs to his - their- bedroom. For as long as she had known him, Bellamy always left whatever book he was reading in the drawer on his bedside table. Her hand froze when she pulled it open and there sat a small velvet box neatly tucked away in the corner. Clarke knew she shouldn't do it, but she picked the box up and opened it.

There sat the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen delicately wrapped in the black velvet slit. It was a simple diamond with three smaller diamonds on either side. Against her better judgment, Clarke slid the silver ring onto her left hand.   _A perfect fit._ Tears slowly began streaming down her face. Taking the ring off her finger, she quickly closed it back into the box and situated it like she had never moved it. Leaving the book on the table instead, she made a mad dash out of the house.

She really needed to talk to Murphy, but he was at work. Then again he worked in a bar so that was pretty perfect right now. She hopped up on a stool at the far end away from everyone else and dropped her head on the bar. She didn't raise up till she heard the clink of a glass being sat down in front of her.

“You still have your fake ID?" Murphy asked, waiting for her to nod before sliding the shot glass to her. Clarke downed the liquid as soon as her fingers closed around the cold glass. _Rum, perfect._ “I can see it in your eyes, the panic. What happened?"

Downing the second shot of rum, Clarke wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. _Traitors._ “My morning started off fantastic. I woke up next to my girlfriend, made breakfast, and cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie. Two movies later she broke up with me.”

"Seriously? That must have been a pretty terrible movie.”

"Very funny. She said Bellamy is in love with me and that I love him back. Then she justified it with the fact that I am leaving for college in two days and ‘it's the right thing to do’.” 

Murphy covered her hand with his. "I'm so sorry Clarke. I know you cared about her."

Holding up her finger, Clarke continued. "Oh, but wait, there's more. You know that book I bought for Bellamy? Well, they are out on a date tonight so I was going to leave it in his drawer where he always puts the books he's reading. Such a terrible idea.”

“Don't Tell me. There were naked pictures of Echo in there and some lube?”

"I wish that had been what I found. No, there was an engagement ring! A gorgeous diamond engagement ring. He is going to propose to her. It hit me kind of hard and I freaked out.”

“So, what I'm hearing is that you are going to be far from sober when we go home.”

"I love you. Get me as drunk as it's going to take to make me forget Lexa and that damn ring.” She grabbed the next shot he was already sliding to her and quickly downed it too.

 

* * *

 

Bellamy was climbing into bed next to Echo's sleeping body when he was startled by a dinosaur roar. _Murphy._

 _Murphy:_ I have a very VERY drunk Clarke here and I don't get off for a few more hours. No one else is answering. Would you mind?  

 _Bellamy:_ Already have my shoes on. I'll be there soon.

The normal 25-minute drive to the bar only took him 15 minutes. As soon as Bellamy stepped through the swinging door he spotted her blonde waves laying flared out at the end of the bar. Murphy had placed a bucket next to her and he had no doubt that she had been using it

“Come on, Princess. Let's get you back to the castle.” He wrapped her arm around his neck and it quickly became clear that she was going to be of no help getting her out to the car. Bellamy put his arm under her knees and scooped her up, cradling her against his chest.

Murphy walked to the end of the bar with them. “Thanks, Bellamy. If it had been closer to closing time she could have just stayed here till I left.”

 “What happened? She never drinks like this.” The concern was heavy in his voice. 

“You'll have to talk to her about that."

Clarke was vaguely aware of Bellamy carrying her to her bed, but she was too drunk and too tired to worry about it. She was also pretty sure she had thrown up in his car. When she woke up the next morning there was a bottle of water and two Advil on the bedside table. _Bellamy._

It was just after nine in the morning according to the clock on her table. Murphy would still be asleep and Octavia had a goodbye breakfast with her friends. She was alone, kind of. Stepping out of the clothes she had on the night before, Clarke relaxed in a steaming hot shower. 

Once out of the shower and dried off she threw on one of Bellamy's shirts she had stolen over the years, it was just long enough to cover everything. However, she quickly found out that she wasn't quite as alone as she thought she was. Clarke walked into the kitchen to find Bellamy standing in front of the stove, shirtless. 

“You're still here and you're making pancakes?" Clarke was completely surprised. She was almost positive that after making sure her way too drunk ass got home safely he would have left. Yet here he was, in her kitchen at nine in the morning, making her favorite things. Shirtless. _Why didn't he have a shirt on??_

“Well, someone has to make sure you eat when you're hungover." She couldn't see his face when he spoke, but she knew he was smirking. That damn sexy smirk she loved so much.

 He turned around with a plateful of pancakes and froze mid step. “You're not wearing any pants."

“Well, you're not wearing a shirt.” She pointed out. “Just don't look under the table if it bothers you."

Without saying anything else Bellamy set the pancakes down in the middle of the table. Two more plates and the syrup had already been put down. “I made them with cinnamon just the way you like."

“Thank you, Bellamy. Not just for making my favorite pancakes, but for last night as well.”

"What happened? You never drink like that.”

"Lexa broke up with me and it went downhill from there. Drinking seemed like a good idea at the time.”. She rubbed her temples. "Wait, did you spend the night here?" 

“I did, I slept on the couch. It was quiet, really peaceful. I can see why you like it out here!” He hesitated before continuing. “Why did Lexa break up with you?"

"She thought it would be best since I was leaving for college.” 

The rest of the conversation flowed easily, but she still had an ache in her heart that wasn't going away. After they finished eating and cleaned up, Bellamy thought it would be best to go home. He hadn't exactly told Echo where he was going last night or where he had slept.

Bellamy hadn't been gone ten minutes when Clarke realized he had left his phone on the counter. She didn't really want him to have to drive back out there, especially after last night. She quickly threw on some shorts and a bra then slipped into her sandals. Luckily Murphy had driven her car home last night.

She heard Echo yelling before she even opened the front door. Trying to ignore their argument, she was just going to leave his phone on the living room table and slip back out. Clarke had her hand on the door when she heard her name.

“It's Clarke though! You ran to her rescue, again! Then you stayed the night at her house and expect me to believe nothing happened?” 

"Clarke was too drunk for anything to happen, not that it would have even if she hadn't been. You are overreacting. Yes, we had sex in Italy, but I am not a cheater.” Clarke could hear the exasperation dripping from his voice. “It was three in the morning by the time I got her into the bed and it’s an hour drive back. I didn't feel like making that drive that late at night.”

"You were happy to make the drive out there. Why not just bring her back here? I am so done with this! I know how you feel and what you said in Italy, but I am not okay with this anymore. It's either me or her. You can have me in your life or you can choose Clarke. If you hadn't noticed before now I AM YOUR DAMN GIRLFRIEND!”

“She's my best friend and that hasn't changed!” Bellamy snapped back at her. 

“Maybe not, but those are still your only options." Echo pointed out all too calmly.

Clarke didn't stay to hear the rest of the conversation. She slung the door wide open and ran out, not caring if they saw her. She heard her name being called seconds before slamming her door shut. The last thing she saw was Bellamy running after her car in the rearview mirror.

She was going to lose him anyways. Wouldn't it have been better for Echo to have done this seven months ago in Italy? Her phone kept ringing from the passenger seat. First, it was Bellamy calling back to back and then Echo called for whatever reason. Bellamy must have called Octavia because she called after a few minutes. When she finally pulled back up at home, Murphy was already walking out to meet her. By the time she was cutting the car off,  he was opening the door and pulling her into a hug.

“Bellamy called you, didn't he?" She sobbed into Murphy's chest, soaking the front of his shirt.

Murphy gently rubbed circles in her back. “Yeah, he did. He doesn't know exactly what you heard but was worried when you wouldn't answer your phone. So was I.”

"Echo gave him an ultimatum. He chose her before and he will do it again.” 

"Maybe not. Bellamy might be able to change her mind about it.”

"I don't think so. She was really pissed about him sleeping here on the couch last night. I'm so glad I'm leaving tomorrow. I am going to miss you so much, but I need this. You'll come to visit me though, right?”

"Of course I will. You are my crazy, silly, kind-hearted best friend. That is something that will never change, my soulmate can suck it.” Clarke laughed at that and wiped the tears away. 

They were leaving really early in the morning so Octavia was saying goodbye to her brother that night. Bellamy wanted to drive with them, but Octavia convinced him that it was their right of passage to go alone. “Are you not planning on telling him bye or anything?” Octavia asked when she got home later that night.

Clarke didn't bother looking up at her, she could already feel the frustration seeping out of her. “No, I'm not." 

“Why the hell not, Clarke?” 

"Echo gave him a choice. If he wants to keep his girlfriend in his life then I can't be a part of it anymore.” She sighed into her tea.

“Oh, Clarke. So to save him from choosing, you're going to what? Remove yourself?”

“That's the plan, O." Octavia wrapped her hands around her best friend.

 

* * *

 

 

Their first year of college was off to a great start. Clarke and Octavia shared a few classes together and their apartment was slowly getting a homier feel to it. She talked to Murphy every single day and night. Bellamy called a lot, but she never answered. Eventually, he began calling less and less. Things had gone back to the way they were a year ago.

“Bellamy misses you." Octavia cautiously mentioned one night while they were studying. 

“I heard what she said, me or her. I made it easy for him and myself. I didn't want to hear him tell me that we couldn't even be friends. She makes him happy, O. That's all I've ever wanted for him and  I won't get in the way of it.” 

"Okay, Clarke.” Octavia sighed. "I have something for you to do tomorrow and you don't have the option of telling me no.”

 

* * *

 

 

“This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it!” Clarke took a deep ragged breath.

Octavia smacked her already sunburned arm. “Oh, shut up! We haven't even been hiking for 20 minutes."

 “I can't believe I let you talk me into this. I am not an outdoorsy person.” 

"It will be a good experience for you. Thinking about my brother all of the time, but refusing to talk to him is what's not good for you.”

"I want him, but I also want to get over him. Neither of those things seems to be happening.” Clarke took a gulp of her water. "Fine. If this is a start to moving on then let's keep trying to kill me, I mean hiking.”

 

* * *

 

When Thanksgiving was less than a week away, Clarke opted to stay at their apartment instead of driving home. Her mother was working and everyone else would be going to Bellamy's. Finals were next month anyway and she needed the extra time. 

“Clarke, if you don't go it will be the first Thanksgiving we have spent apart.” Octavia had been trying her hardest to get Clarke to change her mind. 

“Get used to it, O. I can't walk back into that house like everything is okay. You know the tensions would be astronomical, almost suffocating. Bell would try to talk to me and Echo would get mad. He doesn't even call me anymore so I doubt he wants me there. It's not happening.”

"But Clarke, he really does miss you.”

"O, I will not be the reason there is another fight on Thanksgiving. That would be two years in a row.”

Octavia pouted, but Clarke stood her ground and didn't go. It was a quiet Thanksgiving. She didn't cook a big meal or even have a turkey. Murphy wanted to drive up, but Clarke told him to spend time with everyone else. She had a lot of studying to do anyway. 

Finals came to an end and Christmas break was just beginning. Abby had more conferences during Christmas and through the beginning of the year again, but this time they were located in Hawaii. That was a trip that Clarke just could not pass up. Everyone, including Bellamy and Echo, was invited. Raven and Zeke were spending Christmas with his parents and Echo refused to go. Bellamy chose to stay with his girlfriend and Octavia really missed her brother during the school year.

Murphy, on the other hand, spent the next two weeks on the beach in Hawaii with Clarke. They swam with dolphins and sea turtles for hours. Clarke made him learn how to hula dance so Murphy made her learn how to surf. They spent his birthday walking up and down the beach while he legally bought shots and Clarke made sure he didn't drown in the ocean. Two weeks in Hawaii flew by way too fast and Clarke vowed she would be back one day.

School started back with new classes. Although she was ecstatic to see Octavia again, it also meant that her 20th birthday was coming up. Octavia tried to get her to go home that weekend since her birthday was on a Saturday. Once again, Clarke refused. Octavia wanted to stay and celebrate with her best friend, but Bellamy needed her to help go through some old boxes of Aurora's things and those were memories she didn't want to deal with just yet. Murphy drove up to spend her birthday weekend with her so she wasn’t alone  

“So I met my soulmate."

“That's amazing! I am so happy for you John Murphy! What's her name?” Clarke was jumping, then hugging him, then jumping while hugging him.

“Her name is Emori Mason and she's badass, Clarke. I think you'll really like her.” He smiled brightly. "You're really okay with this?” 

"Of course! I am so happy for you and I can't wait to meet her." 

They spent the night before her birthday lounging around binging and catching up on _Shadowhunters._ Murphy cooked dinner and a cake with candles that wouldn't actually blow out. Once the kitchen was clean they watched a few more episodes, right up till midnight.  

“Are you excited?"

“Not really. I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I do Bellamy. It's just going to be another mark that doesn’t pan out, just like this one.” She laid her hand over her heart.

"Echo is a bitch," Murphy exclaimed. “Okay, it's after midnight. Start stripping.”

Clarke looked everywhere that her skin was already exposed, but there was nothing new there. Removing her pants first, she still didn't find anything. “Maybe I don't get a soulmate. That would make a lot of sense.” She half-joked. She was slipping her tank top over her head when she heard Murphy's gasp.

Clarke looked down to see a  familiar and colorful golden compass in a bed of red roses. Her soulmark took up a hands width of space just under her bra on her left side. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always any comments or kudos are welcome. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed.
> 
>  
> 
> I know some of you are going to be mad that Clarke ran again. But this and the next two chapters are what started this whole story


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, my apologies. I got wrapped up in Lucifer.
> 
> Alright y'all! What did you think about that episode last night!?

Murphy stared at her, eyes wide and unblinking. “Holy shit, Clarke! You're Bellamy's soulmate! Bellamy is your soulmate!”

"So it would seem.”

"This is huge! When are you going to tell him?”

"I'm not.” There wasn't an ounce of doubt in her voice.

“What? Why wouldn't you tell him? Isn't this what you wanted?"

“Murphy, Bellamy loves Echo. They've already said they plan to stay together, mark or no mark. He already has a ring. Besides, I wouldn't want him to choose me just because we are supposed to be soulmates and he thinks he has to. That is not a good enough reason.”

"Clarke…”

"No.” She cut him off. "I refuse to be the girl who's soulmate knowingly doesn't want her.”

That night wrapped in Murphy's arms, Clarke let herself fall apart. This had become too much like a routine for them. Bellamy did or said something and she ran away and cried. Now she had to hide a mark on her body so he would never find out, at least for a few years. At that moment, Clarke decided it would be the last time she was going to shed tears over a boy. She was done letting Bellamy be the reason she didn't think she was good enough.

The next morning Murphy made her favorite pancakes for breakfast and gave her a bundle of art supplies for her birthday. “I know you're going to have a ton of art projects in the near future, but those seem a little impersonal so I also got you this.” He pulled a big picture frame full of photos she had taken of the two of them over the last few years and some from when they were younger.

“Murphy, this is perfect! I love it! Help me hang it up?"

Before Murphy walked out the door on Sunday morning, Clarke made him promise to bring Emori next time so she could meet her. “Will do! If she sticks around after getting to know me."

“She will. Trust me, she is going to love you and that has nothing to do with the fact that your soulmarks match.”

When Octavia got home later that afternoon, she unloaded a bag full of presents from the rest of their friends. “Before you open these, tell me!"

“Tell you what?"

“Clarke Griffin! You know exactly what I want to know! What is your soulmark?!” Octavia demanded.

"Oh, that. It's just some panda looking thing under my bra. Doesn't match anyone we know.”

"Oh, that blows. I was really hoping it would match Murphy's or Bell's. Maybe then he'd finally...nevermind… here!” Octavia smiled and handed her a gift bag. “This one is from me."

Clarke took the bag from her and began pulling out the sparkly pink tissue paper to reveal a stack of folded papers tied together with a ribbon. Tears quickly swelled up in the corners of Clarke's eyes. “Is this what I think it is?"

"I'm not sure what you're thinking, but probably.”

Growing up, Clarke would make homemade Mother's Day cards and birthday cards for both Abby and Aurora. It felt a bit more special and personal than going out and buying generic cards that hundreds of other women around the world would get. Now, in her trembling hands, Clarke held what looked like every single card she had made Aurora through the years. “She kept them? She kept all of them?” She couldn't help the tears that overflowed down her face.

Octavia sat down and wrapped her arms around Clarke's shaking body. “She did. Bell and I found a box labeled _"My heart”_ in the attic, it had everything. From pictures we colored, things you drew, notes we wrote, and even pictures that I never knew existed of us. I figured this would be a better present than the picture frame I had seen at Hobby Lobby.”

“It is, Octavia. It really is, thank you so much!”

"I love you, Clarke. Always and forever!”

"Always and forever!” With her chin quivering, Clarke repeated the words back to her.

“Okay, enough with the tears. Go check out what everyone else got you.”

Clarke wiped the remaining tears away and began digging through the rest of the gift bags. Raven had bought her a pair of scarlet stilettos with the lyrics to that country song _Red High Heels_ taped to the box and Zeke, undoubtedly with the help of his girlfriend, picked out Clarke's favorite body spray _, Cotton candy._ Her mother, unsurprisingly, sent her multiple dresses because she didn't already have way too many that she rarely wore. Bellamy and Echo, much to Clarke's surprise, also got her a few small canvases and a charcoal pencil kit.  

“These are all so amazing! I'll have to remember to call and thank them later. Would you mind thanking Bellamy and Echo for me?” She had ignored Bellamy for so long, Clarke wasn't sure calling him would be the best idea and calling Echo was completely out of the question.

“Uh, Clarke." Octavia hesitated for a split second before walking over to her bags and pulling out one more gift. “There's one more thing for you."

“Really? Who is it from?”

"I think you should open this one alone.” Octavia handed over the bag before making a quick exit to her room.

Clarke stared at the perfectly wrapped box for a good ten minutes without touching it. There was only one person it could be from for Octavia to bolt from the room and not hang around to find out what it was. She could just stick it in the back of her closet and forget about it, but that seemed a bit childish. Not seeing any other option, Clarke slowly picked up the box and pulled the wrapping off.

“What the fuck?" Clarke mumbled to absolutely no one. “An iPhone? Who the heck had the bright idea to get me a phone that I already own?” Confused, she opened the box and found a folded piece of paper and a ring box.

“No. Nope." Clarke momentarily freaked out before reminding herself that she still had no idea who it was actually from. Unsure of which one to grab first, she glared at both objects occupying the space inside the box. _Quit being ridiculous_ she thought. _This isn't getting me anywhere._ Slowly she closed her hand around the ring box, lifted it up, and flipped it open. It wasn't a ring at all, but a beautiful silver necklace. The heart-shaped locket that dangled from the chained had a princess crown engraved on the front. _Bellamy._

Clarke could feel her heart racing as she stared at the locket, afraid to open and see what memories the inside held. Instead, when laid the necklace down on the table and picked up the folded piece of paper, words were easier to read than to see actual memories they shared.

 

_Clarke,_

_I know this probably looks like some pathetic, desperate attempt to get you to talk to me. Well, that would be because it is exactly that. I hope you read this. All of it. I don't know what else to do. I know you heard me and Echo arguing. I also know you heard what she said. Let me be perfectly clear. I will_ **_NEVER_ ** _cut you out of my life. Not for her, not for anyone. I tried so hard to get you back into my life before, why would I want to throw all that away? I do have to tell you something though. Back in Italy after the night we spent together, I thought we would take the next step. Echo and I were broken up so it was a possibility, but you pushed me away. I understand that I do. You know you'll find your soulmate someday probably soon and now you know what to look for on them. I will do anything, whatever you want. Murphy told me to give you some space, so I quit calling. I don't want to push you even further away. I know that I've made mistakes when it came to you and Echo, but I can't change that. I love you and you are my best friend. Please just talk to me or better yet, come home soon._

_P.S Happy 20th Birthday! We're all excited to hear what your soulmark is. I saw this necklace the other day and all I could think about was you._

 

_Love Always,_

_Bellamy._

 

By the end of the letter, Clarke had broken her promise to herself as a few tears escaped down her cheeks. Laying down the paper, she picked up the locket and opened it. On the left was a photo from when she was ten years old at Octavia's birthday party. Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia was in the front with Abby, Jake, and Aurora standing behind them. On the right side was a picture of her, Murphy, Bellamy, and Octavia from the party they had before the boys left for college.

Clarke carried the locket to Octavia's door and knocked, the door swung open seconds later. “Can you put this on for me?"

“Of course. Come on in."

Clarke sat cross-legged on Octavia's bed and pulled her hair up out of the way. “Do you know what it said?"

“I do. Bellamy made me proofread it each time he changed it.” Octavia said as she hooked the necklace together.

"I don't know what to do. On one hand he is one of my best friends and we've been friends for a really long time, but on the other hand, I don't want to get in between him and Echo.”

Octavia sat down in front of Clarke and squeezed both of her shoulders. “Go home with me on some weekends and just be there. Don't avoid him anymore. You'll have me and Murphy with you. You have to start somewhere. Echo will get over it.”

Clarke let out the breath she had been holding. “Okay."

 

* * *

 

It took three more weeks for Clarke and Octavia to both be homework and project free enough to be able to drive back home for the weekend. Octavia wanted to tell Bellamy, but Clarke wanted to surprise everyone. Instead of heading to Bellamy's house first, Clarke drove straight to the beach house. “Invite them over for a game night, but don't tell them!”

Rolling her eyes, Octavia pulled her phone out and began typing. "I know, I know. Big surprise and all that jazz.”

Clarke parked in her usual spot outside the house and began unloading their bags. “Please tell me I'm not going to have to  spend the entire weekend cleaning the whole house.”

"Nah, Murphy usually keeps it pretty clean.”

"Hey, Octavia!” Murphy called without turning around when he heard the front door open.

“Not quite."

Jolting around at the sound of her voice, Murphy gave her a knowing grin. “I freaking told him! Just back off I said. Give her some time and she'll come around. Such a genius I am.”

“Murphy, if you're a genius than I must be Albert Einstein.”

Octavia stepped forward, interrupting their banter. “I text Bellamy and let him know I was home and that we would be having game night here, but…”

“Oh, he's already on his way. We were talking about how you always said you hated how small the porch was  so we are going to tear it down and build a bigger one for you!”

"Well, that explains why my brother isn't answering me.”

“Yeah, that also explains the stack of wood I saw outside.” Clarke added.

"I should probably tell you that Echo and Emori are coming as well,” Murphy explained. "They  share a dorm room so Emori is going to drive…”

“Hold up." Octavia cut Murphy off mid-sentence. "Dorm room? Since when does Echo have a dorm room?”

"So that's what he was talking about you not knowing. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I guess it's too late now.” Murphy mumbled. “Things haven't been too great between Bellamy and Echo since the day she gave him that ultimatum. So he decided it would be best for her to get a dorm room on campus for a while.”

"Interesting, but I'm going to go put my bags in my room before anyone gets here.” Clarke, in an attempt to look like she wasn't nervous, sauntered off with her bags and threw them on her bed. In a hurry, she touched up her makeup and brushed her hair before walking out, closing the door behind her.

Clarke hadn't been back in the living room long when the front door swung open and a petite brunette ran in straight towards where Murphy was standing. She watched as the girl jumped and Murphy caught her in mid-air, swinging her around before standing her back on her feet in front of him. Clarke had never seen him smile as brightly as when he was looking at the girl, he truly seemed happy.

“What are you doing here?"

Clarke spun around to find Echo standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, glaring at her.. “This is my house. Who did you expect to find when you clearly seen my car parked in my driveway?”

“Bellamy didn't say anything about you being here so I figured you were still running away.”

“And what? Make things that much easier for you?” Clarke flashed her a radiant smile. “Nah, I'll pass.”

Echo rolled her eyes at the blonde. “Like I have anything to worry about from you.”

"Go on, Echo, keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll finally find your brain back there.”

“Or at least some common sense." Octavia mumbled.

“Uh, hey?” Murphy tapped Clarke's shoulder causing her to turn her back on Echo. “There's someone I want you to meet."

Clarke had completely forgotten the girl running in before Echo made her presence known. “I'm so sorry about that, you must Emori! It's so nice to meet you!" She stuck her hand out waiting for Emori to shake it.

“I know who you are." She grimaced. “I've heard a lot about you from Echo and her incessant bitching.”

 _Great. Murphy's soulmate already hates me._ she sighed internally. Letting her hand fall and taking a step back, Clarke wasn't really sure what else to say. “Oh, uh.."

Her mumblings were cut off by a pair of arms embracing her tightly. “It's a good thing I don't pay her any attention." Emori laughed in her ear. "If Murphy thinks the world of you then that's good enough for me.”

Clarke let out a sigh of relief and hugged the girl back. “You really had me scared for a minute there. I was sure I had done fucked something up.”

"Because that's all your good at.” Echo called from where she had taken to leaning against the wall beside the door.

 

Octavia spun around and glared in her direction. “I don't know what your problem is, Echo, but I'm betting it's hard to pronounce.”

Before Echo could make some failed attempt to be witty, Bellamy walked through the door. “Why did you drive Clarke's car, Octavia? Did something happen to yours?”

“She didn't." Clarke was surprised at how confident her voice sounded because she was anything but. She stayed quiet while Bellamy's face went from confused to shocked in a matter of seconds before a beautiful smile stretched across his face. “Surprise?"

“You're really here?" Bellamy lessened the distance between them in a mere few steps. To Clarke's complete surprise, he picked her up and swung her around in circles before crushing her to his chest and burying his face in the crease of her shoulder. It was almost like what she had just watched Murphy do with Emori  Hesitantly, Clarke wrapped her arms around Bellamy and hugged him back.

Echo angrily cleared her throat from the back of the room. “Hello, I'm standing right here, literally."

“It's funny how unimportant you seem, huh?” Murphy chuckled. “Come on, Bellamy, let's go make this girl her gigantic porch.”

Clarke spent the rest of the day helping clean off the porch and trying to avoid any more arguments with Echo. With Emori there it wasn't a difficult thing to do, they got along better than Clarke could have hoped. After a few hours of watching the boys tear down her porch, Clarke decided to go ahead and start dinner.

“So, you just got your soulmark recently, right?” Emori hopped up on the counter next to her.

"I did, about 3 weeks ago."

“Clarke doesn't get a soulmate, not one that would put up with her for long.” Echo laughed as she walked into the kitchen.

Clarke turned and placed her hand, the one holding the knife she was using, on her hip. “You do know that I can kick you out of my house? Don't mistake the fact that I'm trying to be civil with you as kindness cause I assure you, it's not.”

“So, where is he?” Emori tried getting Clarke's attention again. "Unless  you don't know, Murphy just made it sound like you did.”

Clarke glanced out the window at Bellamy, watching him for a few seconds before looking back down at the shrimp she was deveining. “He's dating the wrong girl."

“So you do know who is it? I thought you said it didn't match anyone we knew?” Octavia stepped into the kitchen with a confused look plastered on her face.

Nervously laughing, Clarke shook her head. “Of course I don't, but obviously we aren't together so he's with the wrong person”

“Yeah, you're right about that." Octavia leaned against the counter on Clarke's other side. “So, what are you cooking?"

“That shrimp pasta stuff that you and everyone else seems to like so much.”

Emori fist pumped the air beside her. "YES! I have listened to John talk about how much he loves this stuff since the day I met him. He pretty much loves anything you cook.”

"Murphy just likes food in general.” Clarke dumped the shrimp into a skillet with butter, minced garlic, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning. Grabbing a box of angel hair pasta, she broke the pieces before submerging them into a pot of boiling water then covering each with their lids.

Once they were both in the process of cooking, Clarke made her way to the back porch with the intentions of telling the boys they needed to get ready for dinner. She could hear their voices, but couldn't make out what they were saying. _Someone must not have shut it all the way before._ She thought. When she got to the door, it was indeed cracked open and she heard her name being whispered through it.

“Dude, why don't you just tell her?"

“Because," Bellamy sighed. "Clarke finally got her soulmark and obviously it doesn't match mine or she would have said something.”

“Actually…”

Bellamy continued talking as if he hadn't even heard Murphy. “So when she does meet her soulmate he is going to be perfect for her. I've put her through too much with Echo, there's no way Clarke loves me. I wouldn't have even come back here if I was her.”

"You know what, Bellamy? Everyone is entitled to be an idiot every once in a while, but you really abuse that privilege.”

"Hey..”

Murphy held up a hand bringing Bellamy's argument to a halt. “Clarke is absolutely going to kill me, but I think you should know something.”

 _Murphy! Don't you dare!_ Clarke could see where this conversation was headed and needed to stop it quickly. Taking a few steps forward, Clarke swung the door open causing both Bellamy and Murphy to jump. She was surprised to find there was nothing for her to step out on. “Hey, boys, time to get ready for dinner. It'll be done in About twenty minutes or so.”

"I am so glad you came home this weekend, I have missed your cooking so much! ” Murphy dropped his hammer next to the rest of the tool and pick up his discarded shirt. ”What delicious meal for we get the joy of eating?”

"Shrimp Pasta. You really have Emori excited about trying it.”

Murphy fist pumped the air, the same way Emori had. "YES! I will be ready before it's even done!"

Clarke watched as Murphy jogged around the side of the house and out of view. “They really are made for each other, she did the exact same fist pump when I told her.” A ghost of a smile flashed across her face. "Maybe there really is something about these soulmarks."

In the middle of packing the rest of their tools, Bellamy paused to look up at Clarke who was still staring off in the direction Murphy had run off. “You don't believe in soulmarks?"

"I don't know, really.” Clarke glanced down to where her soulmark hid under her shirt. “I used to, but I'm not so sure anymore."

“Why not, Clarke? What happened?”

Sighing, Clarke leaned back against the door frame. “No, nothing like that. What happens when someone gets their mark, meets their soulmate, and they are already in love with someone else. What about knowing who your soulmate is and knowing they'd never love you the way you love them? It doesn't really work out then.” She turned to look into Bellamy's eyes. "Maybe sometimes they're with the wrong girl and need to get their shit together and quit hiding behind them.”

"Clarke, what are you saying?”

“Go take a shower, Bellamy. The food will be ready soon."

Bellamy watched Clarke walk back into the house, leaving him completely confused. Did she know how he felt about her? Was she trying to tell him that he was her soulmate, but he didn't have a panda soulmark. Octavia was positive that it was a panda. Shaking his head, Bellamy finished packing the tools up and went inside to clean off the sweat and dirt.

 

* * *

 

 

When Clarke walked back into the kitchen, Raven and Zeke were both leaning against the counter, laughing at something Emori had said. She mixed the pasta and shrimp together before turning the heat down just to keep it warm.

Raven walked up beside her and squeezed her shoulder. "Everything okay?”

"Of course." Clarke tried her best to hide everything behind a smile. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Do you remember back when I moved here and we were partnered together for that project in chemistry? Well, you always looked at me like there was something on your mind that you wanted to tell me.”

“What does Finn have to do with this, though? I wish I had told you sooner and I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

“No, Clarke. I’m not mad about that. That look, you have it now.”

Clarke knew where Raven was headed and was already shaking her head before she even finished. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Clarke, I know you better than that.”

Signing in defeat, Clarke glanced over at Echo. “Okay, you’re right. I can’t say anything or I shouldn’t anyway. It’s not really a big deal.” Clarke spun around and took off down the hall, leaving Raven to stare after her.

 

* * *

 

As the hot water coursed over his body, Bellamy couldn’t get his conversation with Clarke out of his head. There’s got to be a way to see her soulmark without being a creep and spying on her. He had to come up with some kind of plan to see it. _I NEED to know._ After getting out of the shower, Bellamy went in search of Octavia to come up with the perfect plan.

“Hey, O.” Bellamy whispered as he walked up behind his sister. “Where’s Clarke?”

“Uh, I’m not sure. Last time I saw her she was standing in front of the stove talking to Raven.”

“Okay, come with me.” Bellamy grabbed her hand and began pulling her towards the door. “I need your help.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke quietly pulled the door closed behind her and sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for Murphy to finish his shower. She couldn’t help to think that maybe she should tell Bellamy about her mark so it’s not some big secret for years to come.  Years of having to hide her mark and choose what to wear around how much skin it could show. Constantly having to make sure her bikini didn’t show anything every summer for the next five years.

“What are you doing in here?”

Clarke looked up to find Murphy watching her, in a towel and nothing else. “You don’t take clothes into the bathroom with you?”

Murphy walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a shirt. “No, I don’t. Is everything okay?”

Closing her eyes, Clarke shook her head. “I don’t think so. You were going to tell Bellamy weren’t you?”

“Uh, maybe.” He laughed nervously.

“I almost did too and I think I should. It’s going to be horrible, but it’s better than having to hide it for the next five years.”

He sat down in the bed beside her. “I agree with you. You can open your eyes now. So, when are you going to do it.”

Clarke stared at home for a minute, biting her lip and debating. “Tomorrow, I think.”

“Okay then. Can we go eat now? I’m starving!”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, I have a genius idea!” Octavia called everyone’s attention to her “I think everyone should stay here tonight and then tomorrow we can have a beach day.”

“A beach day?”

“Yes, Raven, a beach day. Spend the whole day outside swimming or laying out in the sun. Maybe even playing some volleyball since we’ve got an even eight people. What do you think?”

“Works for me. I could use some sun, maybe even topless.” Echo attempted to wink at Bellamy even though he wasn’t paying attention.

Instead, he was too busy watching a certain someone’s reaction. “What do you think Clarke?”

Clarke bit her lip, mulling it over. “Yeah, sure. I will just have to go shopping for a new bathing suit to wear in the morning.”

“A new one? What about the ones we bought last year?”

“They’re at our apartment, Octavia. I figure buying one is better than driving two hours there and two hours back.”

“Okay! New plan!” Raven clapped her hands together.  “Since we all love a good excuse to go shopping, how about the boys do whatever tomorrow morning and the girls can go shopping for a bit and then spend the rest of the day on the beach. Unless you three want to go with us.”

Zeke got up and placed his plate in the sink. “I will do just about anything as long as they don’t make us go shopping with them.”

“Can we figure this all out in the morning? I’m ready to get this game night started!” Emori pilled Murphy away from the table.

Clarke watched as each of her friends finished and crowded around the living room. Raven was the last to go, dropping her plate in the sink with the others before leaving Clarke alone with Bellamy. _Alone._ Now could be as good a time as any to tell him about her mark. There wasn’t much that scared her, but this was definitely at the top of the list.

“This was so good Clarke. Thank you for making it tonight.” Bellamy’s voice only added to her nervousness about telling him.

“Oh, uh, you’re welcome.” Clarke half smiled in his direction before casting her eyes down. “Hey Bell, I need to tell you something.”

Moving chairs to sit beside her, Bellamy gently touched her shoulder. “Clarke, is everything okay?”

“It’s about my soul...”

“Hey, are you two about ready? We’ve got Cards Against Humanity and some other games pulled out!”

Bellamy glanced up at his girlfriend. “Yeah, Echo. We’ll be there in a minute.”

“No. Actually, we’re coming now.” Clarke called after her before turning back to Bellamy. “It wasn’t anything important. Go on, they’re waiting. I’m gonna clean up real some.” She grabbed his plate and carried them both to the sink.

She heard Bellamy’s sigh and his retreating footsteps until she was alone in the kitchen. Filling the sink with water and dish soap, Clarke took her time to wash even the first plate. Maybe Sunday would be a better day to tell Bellamy about their shared soulmark. She could give him time, while she's back at her apartment, to process the fact that he shared his soulmark with her.

“Come on, Clarke. I’ll help you clean later tonight, but right now you are going to bring your butt in here with me and have a fun night.” Murphy walked up behind Clarke and pulled her hands out of the sink.

"But..."

"No buts Clarke. Let's go."

Clarke spent the rest of the night playing Cards Against Humanity and Scene It with the loudest group imaginable. As the night drug on it became clear that with only three bedrooms in the house, it was going to be a little difficult trying to find somewhere for everyone to sleep that night. Emori slept in Murphy's room, obviously. Octavia gave up her room and shared a bed with Clarke to let Raven and Zeke sleep in her room. Bellamy and Echo slept on a blow-up mattress on the living room.

Clarke was, unsurprisingly, the first one awake the next morning. Standing in the kitchen waiting for the coffee pot to fill up was an agonizingly slow process, but it gave her time to think of a seemingly good plan. If she could get Bellamy awake without disturbing Echo, they could make breakfast together like old times. It would give her the perfect chance to show Bellamy her mark instead of waiting till Sunday.

When she tiptoed back into the living room, Bellamy wasn't next to Echo. Instead, he was curled up on the couch without so much as a blanket. Sitting on the edge of the couch, she gave Bellamy a gentle shake once, twice, three times. He didn't move, not even a single inch. She tried saying his name a few times and nothing happened. Clarke pulled the coffee table out a little way and went to stand behind the couch. Bellamy was already so close to the edge it couldn't be hard to push him the rest of the way, it wasn't. He tumbled to the floor with ease.

"Ow! What the hell?" Bellamy turned his head to find Clarke laughing. "Did you push me into the floor?"

Giggling, she covered her mouth and nodded. "I did. I thought we could make breakfast for everyone, kind of like we used to."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

 

* * *

 

Once the bacon, sausage, grits, eggs, and pancakes had been cooked and placed into the center of the table, Bellamy started on the French toast. "Don't you think this is a bit of overkill? There are only 8 people."

"No, I don't think it is." Clarke turned away from the table to face Bellamy. "Murphy could probably eat all of this by himself. Not to mention Echo absolutely loves grits and eggs and that girl can eat!"

Bellamy chuckled at the reminder. "I suppose you're right."

"Hey Bell, so about what I was trying to tell you last night."

"Is it about your soulmark?"

Clarke took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. "It was. I actually do know who I share this mark with and it's…"

“Oh God, is that coffee and french toast I smell?" Octavia stumbled into the kitchen, successfully interrupting their conversation.

"Yeah, help yourself. I'm going to go take a shower." Clarke excused herself. That's was twice now that she had been interrupted trying to tell Bellamy. Maybe she just wasn't meant to.

After breakfast, the girls all piled into Octavia's car and headed to some of the shops along the beach while the boys stayed behind to clean up and do whatever it is that boys do. Clarke found the perfect pink and blue one piece to cover her mark while still showing off her curves. Almost her entire right side was showing, from just below her rib cage down to her hip was exposed. Her left side, and more importantly her soulmark, was completely covered by the vibrant material. The only downside was the strange sunburn turned tan line that she would inevitably have.

All day spent on the beach and Clarke never had the chance to tell Bellamy about her mark. Every time she thought would be a good time to do so, someone came along and interrupted their privacy. She thought about all the ways she could still tell him without having to be alone with him. She could write him a letter and leave it with him while she drove back to her apartment, maybe she could just text him a picture, maybe Murphy could accidentally let it slip out. As she made her way back into the house she couldn’t help but think that there was some unknown force keeping her from telling him. Every time she was about to something or someone always came along.

Octavia was taking a shower in her bathroom so Clarke stepped into the guest bathroom down the hall. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching or the door handle turning. She was just stepping out of her wet swimsuit when the door flew open.

“Shit! I’m sorry, Clarke. I didn’t know anyone was in here.” Echo quickly apologized. Before Clarke couldn’t even think about covering her mark it was already too late. Echo’s wide, piercing eyes zeroed in on the colorful mark. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

Clarke let out a dry chuckle. “You know, I said the same thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left after this! 
> 
> So what did you think about those first two episodes?! 
> 
> Also has anyone else already binged season 4 of Lucifer?!

Clarke finished drying off and slipped into her shorts and tank top as she watched Echo pace back and forth in front of the shower and mumble to herself. It was fairly comical, to begin with, but quickly grew tiresome. "Are you going to move your ass and let me out or are you going to pace a hole in my floor?"

Echo broke off mid-pace to turn and glare at Clarke. "You need to leave."

"What the hell do you think I'm trying to do? I'd rather not be stuck in a bathroom with you."

"No. You need to leave, now."

"This is my house or did you forget that little detail, again?" Clarke rolled her eyes and tried to squeeze between Echo and the doorframe.

Echo blocked her path out and shoved Clarke back into the sink. "No, Clarke. You don't get what I'm saying, do you? You. Need. To. Leave. Leave this house, leave this town, leave this state. Hell, leave the country for all I care but leave!"

Clarke crossed her arms across her chest and stepped closer to Echo. "I'm sure that sounded way better in your head, but in reality, I don't take orders from you."

"What are you, 12?"

"Yeah, on a scale of one to ten. Which is more than I can say for you."

Echo's eyes glowed with malice as she ran her finger down Clarke's face. “You're just the sad little girl whose parents didn't love her. Aurora only took you in cause your parents paid her enough that she didn't have to work, Bellamy took pity on you. You're nothing more than a little sister to him.”

"If I'm nothing more than a sister to him then why did he write me a letter saying he thought we were going to take the next step after we had sex? Didn’t know that, did you?”

“Oh, honey." Echo's laugh was hateful almost cruel even. “Do you actually think he wrote you that letter? He did write a letter, but it wasn’t that one. I wanted you to come back so you could see how happy we are together.”

"No, I don't believe that. You don't even live with him anymore. We share this mark for a reason.”

“Bellamy always comes back to me. He doesn't love you and quite frankly, he's embarrassed by you because everyone knows how you feel about him. I am the one Bellamy loves. You're just the one making a fool of herself over a guy who will never put you first. Do yourself a favor and run away again. That's what you're good at, that's the only thing you're good at."

“You’re right,” Clarke admitted nodding her head. “I might run away, but at least I’m not manipulative and alienate Bellamy from every person he cares about.”

“Oh, so you think I’m manipulative?” Echo stepped forward, closing the distance between them till their noses were nearly touching. “How’s this for being manipulative? If you so much as think about telling Bellamy about that atrocity on your side then I will break his heart.”

“Why would..”

“You may not know this, but there is a ring in his bedside table that I happen to know is for me. If you even think about being selfish enough to tell him then I will leave him at the altar and make sure he knows it’s entirely your fault. I will plan every beautiful piece of that wedding, invite every single person that matters to him, and even ask Octavia to be my maid of honor with you as a bridesmaid. So that when I leave because I just can’t handle fighting with you so much over nothing that he will forever hate you.” The cruelty in Echo’s laugh was a promise of things to come. “Now go!”

“If you are wanting anyone to leave then I suggest you go get your boyfriend and get the hell out of my house!" Clarke gritted her teeth and shoved past Echo with zero resistance this time. She tried breathing in to calm herself, but the air didn’t come. _Suffocating._ That’s what it felt like, she had to get out of this house, away from the walls that seemed to be closing in. Busting through the door, Clarke fell to her knees in the sand and inhaled a burning breath of fresh air. _I will not have a panic attack here._

“Clarke?!”

At the sound of her name being called, she focused her eyes on the tan figure walking towards her. _Bellamy, no._ Clarke forced herself to stand and though her knees were wobbly, she sprinted off in the opposite direction down the beach. She didn’t stop running. Not when Bellamy called her name again, not when she passed the next house over or the one after that, no when her legs began to ache from the constant push forward, and not when her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. She didn’t stop running till she reached the end of the pier six miles away from Bellamy and Echo.

Leaning her back against the railing, Clarke slid down and pulled her knees up to her chest doing her best to catch her breath. _Maybe I should have grabbed a water bottle before I took off._ Everyone around her kept staring like she had just run off from an asylum and was about to go on some kind of rampage. Sadly, it didn’t feel too far off from the truth. She could sit here and cry, but that wasn’t going to change anything. There was no pity party in the world that would fix any of this, so what would be the point? Everything in that letter had been a lie made up by an awful woman. There was no telling what Bellamy had written in the original.

Echo had been right about one thing, she was good at running away. Maybe that’s what she was doing this time too, but she couldn’t be the reason Bellamy went through that. In a perfect world, that ring would have been meant for her and when the time came she would be meeting him at the altar, but this wasn’t a perfect world and she wasn’t that lucky.

Eventually, she pulled herself back up to her feet and turned to watch the waves crash over each other. Clarke knew she would have to head back soon, Octavia had a study group tomorrow and they still had a two-hour drive back to their home away from home. For now, though, she was content to keep watching the waves. _Maybe if I had been a mermaid everything would be different._

The sun had just begun to set when Murphy walked up beside Clarke and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders without saying a word. Neither of them moved as they watched the setting sun dip below the crashing waves. It was a quiet walk back to the car with Murphy holding back his questions knowing Clarke would talk about it when she was ready.

Clarke rested her head on the glass as they drove the six miles back to their house. “How did you know where I was?”

“It wasn’t hard to guess. The water, the waves, they calm you. I knew something had to have happened and you needed that serene moment.”

"Echo saw it when I was changing out of my wet swimsuit." Clarke whispered as they pulled into the driveway.

"It? As in she saw the soulmark that you and Bellamy share?"

"Yep!"

"Shit, Clarke. I'm sorry." Murphy reached over and squeezed bed hand in his. "What happened?"

Clarke twisted in her seat to face Murphy without pulling her hand away. "She completely freaked out, pushed me into the sink when I tried leaving and said she would break his heart. She told me that if I even think about telling him that she would say yes to his marriage proposal and leave him at the altar, but not before making sure he knew that I was the reason."

Murphy let her hand slip out of his, walked around to her side of the car, and pulled her out into his arms. He hugged her as if he was trying to push every piece of her back together, it didn’t work. “He cares about you Clarke, I know he does.”

“I know he cares about me too, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s with her. They’re not even living together so if he wanted to break up with her, he would.” Clarke gave him a half-hearted shrug. “I still have a few things over there in the attic. Would you mind getting them some time so he doesn’t have to bring them to me?”

He ran his fingers through her still windblown hair. “Of course, Clarke. Emori and I will go and glare at the bitch the entire time if she’s there.” A small laugh escaped her lips.

An hour later Clarke was driving while Octavia slept in the passenger seat headed back to their apartment. As soon as they got everything unloaded and carried in, Clarke fell onto her bed and passed out. Unfortunately, her sleep was full of Bellamy and Echo’s wedding. Well, attempted wedding, the bride running away in front of everyone kind of calls the whole thing off.

Octavia was gone for most of the day Sunday for the study group but came home to Clarke on the couch surrounded by junk food and trashy sitcoms. The next morning Clarke skipped every class and didn’t even leave the living room, much less the apartment. She didn’t talk about anything, mostly because Octavia had classes all day and wouldn’t be home till later. Clarke watched any movie that would give her a reason to cry so she could pretend the tears weren’t about Bellamy and his damn girlfriend. That was how Octavia found her when she did finally walk through the door, curled up on the couch in her favorite sweatpants and one of Bellamy’s shirts. At least she didn’t have to give him those back to him, yet.

“You can’t just sit here all day!” Octavia, once again, threw her arms in the air.

“O, we have had this conversation and you didn’t win that time either.”

“Can you please tell me what is going on? I know Murphy knows, but I’m your best friend too.” Clarke could hear how concerned Octavia was.

“Yeah, but he’s your brother and he can’t know.” Her eyes dropped down to the sketch pad on the table. Their shared marks were every bit as beautiful on paper as they were on their skin.

“Bellamy? When have I ever told him a secret between us? Have a little faith.”

Clarke knew Octavia was right, she had never told him their secrets. “This is a little different.” Without saying another word, she lifted her shirt enough to show her the compass.

Octavia’s wide, unblinking eyes remained on her mark with a look of disbelief plastered across her face until Clarke pulled her shirt back down.  “That is definitely not a freaking panda! You’re his soulmate! This is amazing, Clarke!”

“Yeah, Echo didn’t seem to think so when she walked in on me changing Saturday.”

Huffing, Octavia threw herself down onto the couch next to Clarke. “What did that God awful woman do?”

“She freaked out, hard. She wrote the letter I got so I’m not sure what the original said. Bellamy is embarrassed by me because everyone knows how I feel about him and I’m just a little sister to him.”

Octavia had begun tapping her fingers across her knee. “What else?”

Sighing, Clarke continued. “She told me that if I even think about telling him then she will leave him at the altar in front of everyone and make sure that he knows I’m the reason. He would hate me. Also, she said I needed to leave the country and maybe I should.”

“That’s it!” Octavia snatched her keys from where they were and headed for the door. “I’m going to go kick her ass! It’ll be so damn satisfying.”

“Wait! Octavia, don’t do that. It’s okay, really. I don’t want to be the reason she hurts him.”

Octavia angrily threw her keys back onto the table. “What are you going to do, Clarke? Go back to ignoring my brother? Cause if so, that’s a pretty shitty decision.”

“No, I’m not going to do that. If he texts or calls me then I’ll talk to him. I’ll just make myself busy so I won’t have time to go home much, maybe I’ll even get a fuck buddy for a while.” Clarke shrugged her shoulder and curled back up on the couch. “Can’t hurt, right?”

Clarke did exactly what she said she was going to do. She spent the weekend looking around town at the art galleries and with a great recommendation from Lincoln got a part-time position. On her way to the art gallery, she found a little hole in the wall coffee shop with the best cappuccino that she had ever tasted and also a cute blonde barista, Niylah. Before long her weekends were filled with art shows and screaming orgasms. On the rare weekends that she was actually able to make it back home, Clarke spent her time with Murphy and Emori. It wasn’t like she was avoiding Bellamy, not really. He was just as busy as she was, at least that’s what he always told her. She kept waiting for the day when they blasted the new that he had finally proposed to Echo, but it hadn’t happened yet.

The next time Clarke and Bellamy were in the same place at the same time was on the two year anniversary of Jake and Aurora's death. Almost everyone showed up. Abby and Marcus both took the morning away from their hospitals. Murphy and Emori rode out to the grave with her while Raven and Zeke followed along behind them. Bellamy and Octavia arrived shortly after the blanket had been spread out. The only person who didn't make an appearance was Echo and Clarke didn't bother asking why nor did she care to know. Clarke spent the rest of the afternoon with her mother, catching up while Abby finished up a bit of paperwork at the hospital.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go on vacation with us this summer?” Octavia mumbled from the passenger seat, half asleep.

“I’m sure a whole week with Echo glaring at me while I try to keep my soulmark hidden from Bellamy just does not sound like a good time to me.”

“I can stay home with you.”

“Oh, Octavia, I appreciate the thought, but it’s really okay. I’ve got a busy summer ahead.  Go on vacation with your brother and have fun.” Clarke turned into their apartment complex and found the closest empty parking spot to their door. “Now go take a shower and get some sleep. You know how moody you get for that class in the morning and this time you have an exam to take.”

Clarke finally crawled into her bed two hours later after cleaning up the apartment and taking a shower herself. The laundry still needed to be done and the floor could use a once over with the vacuum, but that could wait till she woke up. She was just beginning to doze off when her phone lit up and gave an ear-piercing ring. _You have got to be kidding me_ she groaned and reached to silence it. With one eye closed, Clarke opened the new message.

_Bellamy: Did Octavia talk to you about our vacation coming up?_

_Clarke: She did._

_Bellamy: Are you going to come with us?_

_Clarke: I can’t, Bell._

_Bellamy: Will you be home at all this summer?_

_Clarke: Of course. You know I wouldn’t miss Octavia’s birthday._

_Bellamy: Are you avoiding me?_

_Clarke: No, I’m not. I do have a job I have to show up to and I’m taking two classes that are only offered during the summer._

_Bellamy: Okay. I hope I get to see you more than just that day. Good night, Clarke. I miss you._

_Clarke: I miss you too, Bell. Goodnight._

The weeks that followed were exhausting and filled with more studying than Clarke had been prepared to do. Those sleepless, coffee filled nights paid off when she received perfect test scores in every class. Their first year of college was well and truly behind them.

Octavia went home to spend time with her brother while Echo was gone visiting her parents. Clarke, on the other hand, was off getting her list of supplies for the two grueling summer classes she was using as a reason to not go home, they kept her busier than her regular classes had all year. Clarke hadn't seen Niylah in almost two weeks and while she would love to relieve some stress, she just didn't have time to do so. Octavia’s birthday was the only time she was able to get away and even then she fell asleep during the party and slept for 16 straight hours.

With only 10 days left before the first day of the school year, Octavia was off with everyone else on vacation and would frequently blow her phone up with picture updates. Especially every time Bellamy and Echo were fighting, which was quite a bit. Clarke used the break to finally get laid again after killing herself over two “fun and adventurous” classes.

 

* * *

 

Clarke sat in the front row wearing a sleek, form-fitting white satin dress with a scooping neckline and wispy straps that teased at the swells of her breast. She’d had a smile plastered on her face since stepping foot into the daisy covered venue and sat in the exact spot Octavia pointed out for her. What reason her best friend had for putting her in the front was beyond Clarke’s understanding. Just another hour or so and she could plant herself at the open bar and maybe have slutty wedding sex.

The wedding venue itself was something Clarke could see herself choosing, not that she had any intention of getting married now. The fuchsia, Orange, and yellow daisies almost seemed to glow underneath the starry sky made of tea lights. The chairs had been tied together using a delicate lace fabric with lights glued around the bottom of the seats. Magical was clearly the biggest understatement here.

It wasn’t much longer before the groom was taking his place at the altar, a mere 10 feet in front of her, and damnit if he didn’t look Good in a tux. Crossing her left leg over the other, the slit in Clarke’s dress fell open and exposing everything up to her mid-thigh. In the same moment, the groom turned his attention to her. Hunger greedily filled his eyes at the sight of her skin, a hunger she had only seen one other time.

For a brief moment, their eyes locked on one another before the opening chords to _Marry You_ by Bruno Mars flowed through the venue. Like everyone else, Clarke turned in her seat to see a young boy and girl shuffling down the aisle. He was one step ahead carrying a little pillow with a gorgeous ring that had a simple diamond with three smaller diamonds on either side and a plain silver band tucked neatly into the middle while she was throwing petals out of her basket by the handful.

Emori, being the maid of honor, stepped out with her arm looped through Murphy’s. Her orange one shoulder, knee-length dress stood out against her tan skin. After a few seconds, Octavia and Jasper linked arms and stepped out behind them. Raven and Zeke were the next to appear followed by Harper and Monty. Their bridesmaid dresses were similar to the maid of honor’s but still different. While Emori’s dress was orange the other three were fuchsia with a small yellow ribbon that looked almost like a belt fitted around their waist.

Gradually Bruno Mars transitioned into a time-honored wedding march. The bride, with her father beside her, floated out in the most beautiful dress Clarke had ever seen. Her sweetheart neckline was flowered with sequins that seemed to sparkle underneath the array of tea lights. The form-fitting fabric had a layered tulle over it that blended into a mermaid tail spanning out behind her.

Clarke watched as the groom anxiously waited for his soon to be wife at the altar with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. Her father kissed her forehead as he passed her off and went to take his seat beside the mother of the bride. Hand in hand, the vows were repeated as they smiled brightly at one another. A tear slipped down Clarke's cheek as she painfully watched Bellamy slip the ring, that was a perfect fit for her, onto Echo's hand while ending his vows with an "I do.".

"Clarke! What is taking you so long?!" Everyone's attention turned to Octavia. "You were supposed to be ready an hour ago!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"CLARKE!!"

Clarke jerked straight up, almost headbutting Octavia. Sweat covered every inch of her skin and her clothes were soaked. _A dream. It had all just been a dream._ Sighing, Clarke fell back into her pillow before looking over at Octavia. "I'm sorry. Let me take a quick shower."

"Hurry! You know how much I've been looking forward to getting our Halloween costumes." Octavia walked over to the door and turned back with a concerned looked etched into her face. "Was that the same nightmare you've had since we watched that guy propose to his girlfriend in front of the whole campus?"

Clarke shook her head. "Yeah, it was."

"See, shopping is exactly what you need right now." Winking, Octavia left Clarke alone to get ready.

 

* * *

 

Octavia was able to break Clarke away from her half-empty canvas long enough to go to a Halloween party at one of the fraternity houses. It wasn’t enough to just go and have some fun, but she had to dress up for the party as well. Octavia was dressed as the red queen from _Through the Looking Glass_ while Clarke was the blonde version of _Xena: Warrior Princess._ It was all fun and games till the end of the night when Clarke, with Niylah’s help, was dragging Octavia’s drunk ass far away from the party and any boy who thought he was about to get lucky.

In an attempt to avoid Echo, Clarke made up a few excuses to get out of going home for Thanksgiving, she could really use the week to study anyways. Finals were less than a month away and she was far from being ready for them. Clarke was prepared to spend another holiday completely alone, but someone else had a different idea in mind.

The morning of Thanksgiving, Clarke won up to the delicious, mouthwatering smell of bacon being cooked. After changing into a pair of shorts and a Jurassic World shirt, she wandered out of her room to find Murphy and Emori in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Before she could ask why they were there Abby and Marcus walked in through the front door. Her mother rushed over and wrapped her up in a tight hug.

Bewildered, she hugged her mother back. "What are you guys doing here?"

"You didn't want to come to us so we decided to come to you." Emori, eavesdropping, shouted from the other room.

"We didn't want you to be alone, again." Abby hugged her daughter once more before shuffling off to the kitchen to help.

Clarke stared dumbfounded at the people in her apartment, her heart ready to burst with appreciation. "You guys really are the best!"

 

* * *

 

 

The following Sunday Octavia had barely made it through the door before shouting for Clarke. “We have a problem!”

Clarke hurriedly walked into the living room and took a seat in the couch in front of her best friend. “What is the matter, O?”

“If you don’t come home for Christmas Bellamy said he is going to drive up and drag your ass back kicking and screaming. You know he will do it too, Clarke.”

“Fuck!” Clarke sighed. “I mean, it’s not really like I’m avoiding him. It’s just easier to avoid Echo.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea.”

 

* * *

 

In the end, Clarke only had one option to choose from. Clarke walked around to the new deck Bellamy and Murphy had built and done an amazing job on and carried her bags to her bedroom. She stayed there most, except to go visit her mom who was finally home for Christmas for the first time in years.

“Honey, I need to talk to you about something.” Abby approached her daughter cautiously.

“Okay, mom. What is it?”

“You know Dr. Kane, uh, Marcus?”

Clarke smiles at her mother, guessing where this conversation was headed. “Of course. He’s been around a lot lately.”

“Yes, yes he had. Well, we are sort of … dating.”

“I just have one question, mom. Does he make you happy?”

Abby grinned from ear to ear. “He does. I’m happier than I’ve been since your father.”

Clarke walked over and hugged her mother tightly. “Then I am happy for you.”

Clarke spent Murphy’s birthday with him and Emori going out to eat and sat through a three-hour movie. Anyone who says they didn’t cry during _Endgame_ is a complete liar. Clarke went home after the movie to give them some alone time together. Just because she didn’t have sex on her birthday doesn’t mean other people don’t have birthday sex.

On Christmas morning Clarke changed her outfit five times before she was ready to head over to Bellamy’s. There was music, games, and drinking just like in the past few years. Unlike the previous years, no one needed a fake ID for any alcohol to be bought.

“You’re going to have to stop doing that.” Murphy whispered, tiptoeing up beside Clarke.

“Stop what?”

“Pining. If you’re not going to fix it then you might as well let Bellamy go.”

Clarke let out a painful sigh. “I know and I am trying. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be knowing that we are soulmates.”

Most of the food was still cooking and everyone was sitting around the living room playing different games. Currently, they were enjoying _Never Have I Ever_ and the last question had Clarke finishing her beer off. If she was going to make it through all of Echo’s glares today she was undoubtedly going to need another, stronger drink.

“Where are you going?” Bellamy asked as she raised up from the couch.

“To get some hair and then something else to drink to for this game. Apparently, there’s not a lot I haven’t done.” Clarke snickered and stepped out the door to the back yard. It felt like it had been so long since she’d been here, but it had only been maybe 5 months. It had, however, been about 18 months since she had found that ring and Bellamy still hadn’t proposed to Echo. _What could he be waiting for?_ A noise to her right pulled her away from the oath her thoughts had taken. The approaching footsteps stopped right beside her.

“I thought I told you to never come back or I would break Bellamy’s heart and it would be all your fault?”

“I skipped the vacation this summer and Thanksgiving. Do you really think he would let me get away with skipping Christmas too? He even told Octavia he would drag my ass kicking and screaming back down here.” Clarke sighed, not really in the mood to have this conversation.

Scoffing, Echo turned to face Clarke. “I would have made sure Bellamy didn’t come for you, he wouldn’t have missed you.”

“You don’t even live with him anymore Echo, what makes you think you can control him?”

“You poor little girl, still waiting for her happy ending. News flash, Clarke, it’s never going to happen.”

“Geeze Echo” Clarke growled. “What the hell are you so worried about?! I have already told you I am not going to tell Bellamy that I am his soulmate, you made sure if that. Not that it would really matter since he’s in love with your conniving ass.”

“My soulmate?” A broken voice can from behind them.

“Bellamy!” Echo glanced over at him, eyes wide. “How long have you been standing there?”

“A lot longer than you’d like, I’d imagine.”

“Oh, God.” Clarke’s heart was pounding in her chest. “I gotta - I have to go. I’m sure y’all need to talk.” She mumbled before running out to her car and speeding off without saying goodbye to anyone, again.

“Damnit, Clarke!” Bellamy was torn between running after Clarke and finding out what the meaning was of what he’d just overheard. “Is it true?”

“Baby,” Echo laughed nervously. “Don’t worry about her, she’s just -.”

“Echo I am giving you the chance to tell me the truth.” Bellamy interrupted her rambling. “I’m sure Murphy would be all too willing to tell me what happened.”

Echo glanced at Murphy in the living room, but he was already looking back and forth between her and Bellamy. “Yes, it’s true.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since the weekend they came down after Clarke’s birthday. I walked in on her changing.” Echo ran her hand down his arm before he took a step back out of her reach. “Babe.”

Bellamy finally looked up at Echo, anger in his eyes. “So you threatened her and told her to stay away? My best friend? I told you I loved her in Italy! You had no right to make that decision!”

“I’m your girlfriend! Me! She’s not right for you!  You’re in love with me so what does it matter that she’s your soulmate?”

“What’s going on out here?” Murphy stepped outside with them, looking around. “Where Clarke at?”

“The food is ready you guys. What’s taking so long?” Octavia walked out behind Murphy.

Bellamy looked at his sister with the hurt written all over his face. “Did the two of you know?”

“Did we know what, Bell?”

“All of it!” He screamed. “All of it about Clarke?”

“I was with her when she got her mark,” Murphy confessed. “I also know about the ultimatum and Echo telling Clarke to leave.”

“I found out about her mark the day after Echo did after we had gotten back to our apartment.” His sister glared at the woman standing there.

“Why didn’t either of you tell me?”

“You should really talk to Clarke, Bell.” Octavia gently patted his shoulder.

“Actually, no you shouldn’t. If you’re not in love with her too then you need to let her go.” Murphy was harsh and entirely honest.

 _Let her go? No!_ There was no way he could do that, no way he could live with himself if he did. “I can’t let her go, I won’t.”

Echo grabbed his arm before he could run off. “I’m your girlfriend, Bellamy. Stay here.”

“You know I was in love with her. We had this whole conversation in Italy about me not being in love with you.”

“How does it feel then? How does it feel to lose the best thing that has ever happened to you?”

“The best things that ever happened to me? I wouldn’t know, I hope I haven’t lost her yet.” Bellamy smiled to himself. “I’m going to make sure that I never do.”

 

* * *

 

The hour drive to Clarke’s house seemed to take longer than it should. Traffic was bumper to bumper like it was some kind of holiday. By the time Bellamy was pulling up to the beach house an hour later, Clarke was throwing her travel bags and school books back into her car.

“Clarke, wait!” Bellamy had barely put the truck in park before jumping out. “We desperately need to talk!”

Clarke sighed and shoved the last bag into the back seat before turning around to find she was face to face with the brown-eyed boy she had fallen in love with. “No, Bellamy, we really don’t.”

“Clarke, please don’t leave me.”

“You love her and she makes you happy. I’m not going to get in the way of your happiness. I didn’t understand why you chose her at first, but then I realized I didn’t have to because it wasn’t my decision.” She opened the driver side door before turning back to grab his hand.

“Clarke-.”

“You’re so special, Bellamy, I get why she chose you.” She squeezed his hand as a tear slipped out of her eye. Leaning up on her toes, Clarke kissed his cheek letting her lips linger for just a moment longer than necessary. “Goodbye Bellamy.”

After watching his soulmate drive away, Bellamy ran back to his car determined not to let her go this time. As he drove back home, Bellamy repeated his plan in his head over and over.

_Pack a bag._

_Tell Echo to get the fuck out if she hadn’t already._

_Get the apartment key from Octavia._

_Drive like a badass to get to Clarke._

_Confess all of my feelings._

_Live happily ever after...hopefully._

That last one was still up in the air. She may be his soulmate, but that didn't mean she felt the same about him now.

Octavia was standing at the door as he walked through. “What happened?”

“Not a lot. She left before I could tell her how I felt.”

“Baby, she doesn’t love you the way I do.” Echo whined as she walked up to him.

Ignoring her, Bellamy turned to his sister. "Can I have your apartment key, please."

Octavia's excitement at his words could barely be contained. "You're going to go after her?"

"Of course I am, O. I've wasted all this time thinking she'd find her soulmate one day when I'm her soulmate. I love her."

"I'll go get it!"

"Thanks!" Bellamy called over his shoulder as he pulled out a duffle bag and began shoving some clothes into it.

Echo leaned against the doorway. "What are you doing, babe?"

Still ignoring her, Bellamy walked to this bathroom and pack his toothbrush and deodorant neatly into the side of the bag.

"Baby, don't go. Please. I know we can work this out." Echo crossed the room and wrapped her hands around his right arm. "We're meant to be together."

Stepping out of her reach, Bellamy finally looked at her. "No, Echo, we're not. There are many reasons, but after what you did to my best friend I don't feel I really owe you any kind of explanation."

Walking back to his sister, Bellamy could feel Echo right on his heels. "Whatever, Bellamy! You know Clarke has never just been your friend!"

"You're right and I told you that before!" He called back to her. "You know I've been in love with her and your mistake was thinking that would ever change. My mistake was not acting on it sooner."

Octavia was already waiting at the door for him with her apartment key and two bowls full of food. "Since you didn't get to eat and all."

"Thank you so much, O." Bellamy wrapped one arm around his sister and squeezed. Letting go of her, he turned to face Echo. "I'll be gone for a few days, you'll need to be gone with anything you have left here by the time I get back."

"But I love you!" Echo screamed.

"Don't worry, big brother. I'll make sure she's long gone before you two get back."

 

* * *

 

 

Driving away from Bellamy was, by far, one of the hardest things Clarke had ever had to do.  She didn't get too far before her face was soaked with tears. She wanted him to be happy, even if it didn't include her, she loved him enough for that. Now all Clarke wanted to do was get home, crawl into bed, and cry. Maybe eat a gallon of ice cream and binge watch some sad romcom movies.

That's exactly what she did. Kicking the door closed behind her, Clarke peeled off her clothes and slipped into one of Bellamy's shirts. Maybe this would make her feel better or not. _Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture._ She climbed in between the sheets and let the tears fall, eventually dozing off into a dreamless sleep. Sometime later a knock at the door startled her awake. She thought about ignoring it but another knock later and she was scrambling out of the bed.

"Princess, I know you're in there."

Clarke froze with her hand halfway to the doorknob, her heart already picking up its pace. "Bellamy? What are you doing here?"

"I told you that we need to talk." His voice was muffled by the door.

The tears had already begun leaving fresh trails down her face. "Go away, Bellamy!"

"How many times are you going to try to shut me out?" He slammed his balled up, against the door, in a totally non-threatening. "I'm not leaving without you, I can't do that again."

Clarke leaned against the door and slid to the floor, sobbing. Why was he here now? Why was he saying these things now? This is exactly why she didn't want him to know about her soulmark.

"Please open the door, Clarke. I do have Octavia's key, but I'd rather you let me in." After a few seconds, he heard the lock click and the door slowly opened.

He took in the heartbreaking sight before him. Clarke was wearing nothing but his shirt, as far as he could tell. Her face was red and blotchy with bloodshot eyes, it made her blue stand out even more. Her achingly beautiful face was soaked with tears. In two steps he was enveloping her in a gentle, but firm hug. "Clarke, please stop crying."

She melted into his embrace. It had been so long since she had felt his arms wrap around her. "I can't live without you, Clarke. It was so hard to be away from you when I was the one that was eight hours away and then you wouldn't talk to me when I came back. Please talk to me."

Sighing, Clarke pulled him over to the couch and sat down. "Where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning."

"Well, I guess what would be with me telling you that I am in love with you, Bellamy Blake." She fidgeted with her hair, but her voice remained full of confidence. "It's okay though, you don't have you love me back. I get it, you're already -."

She was cut off by the soft press of warm lips on hers, Bellamy's lips on hers. Gently his hands cupped her face, thumbs caressing her cheeks and wiping away the remainder of the tears. "I do love you, Clarke." He whispered against her lips before pulling back to look into her deep blue eyes.

"What about Echo?" Clarke searched his face, looking for some kind of answer.

"I started dating her because I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way I did and even if you happened to care for me that you would eventually find your soulmate. You would leave me and I knew I couldn't handle that."

"Is that why you acted like the night before you left for college didn't happen?"

"No, God, no. I was never acting like it didn't happen, I really thought it was a dream. I've dreamt about it almost every night since. It wasn't till right before Italy that I found out the truth." He sighed, dropping his head. "I'm so sorry I ever gave you any other impression."

"It's okay. I just thought you had finally seen me after all those years. That's why I got so upset when you brought Echo home. Well, part of why, you already know the other reason. When you brought her to meet us, I couldn't believe it. Then dad and Aurora died and I couldn't ignore you anymore. We had sex and it was literally the best night of my life and the next morning I read everything Echo was texting you. I knew you'd get back together with her."

"I wanted you to tell me not to, I wanted you to give me a reason." Bellamy ran a hand through his hair. "Why did you start avoiding me again?"

Clarke didn't know what to think. Bellamy was sitting here and telling her everything she wanted to hear, kissing her as she wanted. She saw the ring. You didn't buy a ring like that unless you plan on proposing to someone. Taking a deep breath, Clarke stood up to put a little distance between them and try to get a little perspective.

"Clarke, what's wrong? What just happened?" She could hear the panic building in his voice.

"You don't - we don't have to do this just because of the universe or whatever thinks we are soulmates. I know you and Echo always said the marks didn't matter, you don't have to fake it with me." She turned her back to him so he couldn't see the tears she was holding back.

"Why are you saying that? I love you, Clarke. I'm in love with you. I always have been." Bellamy pushed himself off the couch and made his way to her.

"You're not, Bell. I know you're not." She could no longer hold back her tears. As soon as she took a step for her room there was a warm hand in hers, spinning her back around towards Bellamy. His lips crashed against hers in a desperate attempt to keep her there. When she pulled back, Clarke could see that he was crying as well.

"Don't ask me to pretend that I don't love you, Clarke. I've been doing that for too long and I just can't anymore."

She was shaking her head before he was even finished speaking. "I saw the ring, Bellamy!" She yelled, jerking out of his grasp.

"The ring? What ring, Clarke?"

"The night that I got way too drunk and Murphy had you come to pick me up and take me home. I bought that book that was sitting on your nightstand."

Bellamy's eyes widened. "That was -."

Clarke silenced him with her finger to his soft lips. "Shh! Let me finish. I knew you were out with Echo so I snuck in and was going to put it in the drawer of your nightstand where you always put the books you've been reading. You would've seen it there, easily, when you went to put your glasses up for the night." She dropped her gaze to the hardwood floor. "There was a ring box with a beautiful diamond ring. I was upset, really upset. I wanted to talk to Murphy and also get drunk. The next day you left your phone on my counter and when I got to your house I heard you and Echo arguing. It was none of my business so I was going to put your phone on the table and leave, I swear. Before I could get out I heard my name and I also heard the ultimatum she gave you. I couldn't take you telling me that we couldn't even be friends anymore. I thought avoiding and ignoring you would make it easier for both of us. I freaked out, even more, when I got my soulmark. Of course, Echo would be the one to walk in on me changing and see the damn thing. She told me to leave and if I even thought about telling you that she would break your heart in the worst way possible and make sure you knew it was my fault. There was also the letter you sent me, Echo said she wrote it."

To her surprise, Bellamy laughed, a deep belly laugh. Clarke stared at him incredulously. "Why on Earth are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry, I really am. First, she didn't know anything about the letter. I wrote it with Octavia sitting next to me and then handed it to her. The letter was all me and my words. That ring was mom's, it was the one Octavia's father gave to her. Mom left it for Octavia when she was ready to get married. I was never going to ask her to marry me. I loved her, she was a good person when it was just us. I was never in love with her and she knew it. I told her in Italy after she found out about the two of us." His eyes softened around the edges as he grabbed her hand. "Clarke, it's always been you. I wish I hadn't thought that the first kiss was a dream. All of this could have been different."

"I should have said something instead of thinking you regretted it."

"I should have chosen you when I had the chance." His voice came out so broken.

Clarke grabbed his face and kissed him softly. "So choose me now." She whispered against his lips.

"I'm not leaving you, not again. I'm here and I'm in this for as long as you want me."

"Always, Bell." She vowed before recapturing his lips and pulling him towards her bedroom.

 

* * *

 

When they pulled up at the beach house a few days later, Octavia and Murphy's cars were both there. Bellamy smiled, looking over at the beautiful blonde in the passenger seat. "You ready?"

"Let's go." Clarke laughed as she slammed the door and walked around the other side of the car. Grabbing Bellamy's outstretched hand, they walked up to the beach house together.

"Did you guys finally get your shit together?" Octavia asked as they walked through the door.

"Yeah, we did." Bellamy beamed at his sister.

"Ha! You owe me twenty bucks baby, Blake!" Murphy called from the couch.

Clarke laughed, disbelievingly. "You bet on us?!"

Octavia shrugged half-heartedly. "I figured you'd close the door in his face and refuse to talk to him."

"How did you know I wouldn't, Murphy?"

"You're stubborn, I'll give you that. You didn't see it though, you didn't see the way he looked at you. It was different than the way he looked at other girls, always had been. He looked at you like the stars, the moon, and the galaxy reflected in your eyes. Plus he's just as stubborn as you are."

"Wow, that was pretty deep Murphy." The younger Blake mocked.

"So did Echo get the rest of her things out of the house?" Bellamy cautiously looked at his sister.

"Not fast enough so I helped her move faster and sent her off to her parent's house. Let me tell you, it was incredibly satisfying."

They spent the rest of Christmas break together, finally enjoying each other's company without someone trying to ruin it. On New Year's, instead of watching Clarke kiss Murphy's cheek at midnight, Bellamy had the pleasure of kissing her himself while Murphy kissed Emori. He was finally with the woman he was always meant to be with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for ready and any comments or kudos is appreciated!


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's only been a few days since I posted the last chapter, but I wanted to go ahead and put the epilogue up!

Bellamy and Clarke, over the next few months,  took turns making the two-hour drive to see the other, spending almost every weekend together. Sometimes Octavia would hang out with them and other times she branched out to do her own thing. Once the school year finally came to an end, Clarke and Octavia transferred back to the university in their hometown. The same one that Bellamy and Murphy would be graduating from soon. Instead of going back to the beach house, Clarke let Emori and Murphy live there and moved back in with Bellamy. With Octavia’s approval, they packed up Aurora’s things and neatly stacked them in the attic while Octavia quickly settled back into her old room.

A week later when Bellamy Blake’s and John Murphy’s names are called to walk across the stage and receive their diplomas, they have the loudest cheering section in the whole building. As soon as the ceremony is over and they’re able to leave, Clarke threw herself into her boyfriend's arms and planted her lips on his.

“Your mother would be so proud of you!” Clarke whispered against his ear. Bellamy buried his face in the crook of her neck to hide the few tears that slipped out.

Bellamy left college with a job lined up teaching history at the high school they had all graduated from. Murphy began his new job in the forensics department at the local police station. Lincoln made good on his promise that Clarke would always have a place with him, even if it was only part-time.

When Octavia finally received her soulmark and it was one that Clarke was familiar with, she introduced Lincoln to Octavia again. Something that Bellamy wasn't on board with and was entirely unhappy about given the fact that Lincoln was 26 and Octavia was still his baby sister.

"Honey, do you really think I'd be willing to show them that they share the same soulmark if I didn't already know that he is such a good man?" Clarke pointed out after a long, tiring day of him being moody about the whole ordeal.

The day Clarke and Octavia walked across the stage and was handed their diplomas, Emori and Murphy threw them a huge party on the beach  A few hours into it Bellamy walks up behind Clarke, taps her on the shoulder, and drops down to one knee when she turned around.

"You have always been and will continue to always be my best friend. I have loved you for as long as I can remember." He pulled out the ring that his mother had left him and gently grabbed Clarke's hand. The tears that had slowly been building in her eyes flowed down her face. "She knew, my mother always knew that this very moment is what everything had been leading to. I didn't understand back then, but I do now. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much. So Clarke Elyzabeth Griffin, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and an official Blake?"

Unable to form any audible words through the tears, Clarke smiled and nodded her head vigorously. Once the ring was securely slid onto her finger where it would stay till it was time to pass it on, she wrapped her arms around Bellamy's neck and buried her face in his chest. "I love you too."

Six weeks later Clarke landed the position as the new art teacher three doors down from her fiance. The kids were amazing and full of tremendous talent. Clarke even got Lincoln to agree to start a high school talent night once a month. High school students from all over the city were able to submit their works to be shown off and bought.

A year later Clarke wore an almost exact copy of the dress from her dream as she walked down the aisle to Bellamy. The same hunger taking over his eyes as her dream Bellamy. Abby gladly danced with Bellamy for the mother and son dance and Marcus stepped in for his role in the father-daughter dance.

The day Octavia turned 22, Lincoln handed her a key with a ribbon tied to it and asked her to move in with him. Bellamy was upset but still immensely happy for his sister. So it came as no surprise to him when Lincoln sat down with him four months later to ask for his blessings to propose to Octavia. Bellamy smiled to himself and handed over the velvet box with the ring Aurora had left for her. In six short months, they were exchanging vows and saying "I do".

Exactly 10 months after their wedding, Octavia and Lincoln welcomed a 7lbs 9oz baby girl named Haven Aurora Woods. There wasn't a single person who didn't find themselves completely enamored with the small child. Lincoln talked Clarke into becoming a partner of the art gallery so she could get credit for everything she does to help while he focused on his newborn and wife.

The following month at Clarke's yearly checkup, she was told there as a high possibility that she may never be able to conceive and carry a child. She was absolutely devastated. Bellamy would have made such a good father with their tiny humans running around.

"Clarke, I love you and I don't need children to know that I always want to be with you. Nothing will ever make me give this up." Bellamy did his best to comfort her.

"Bell, you love kids. You were meant to be a father." Clarke was trying her hardest not to break down crying again. "I don't want to be the reason you never get that."

"So we can adopt, baby. Our kids don't have to carry our DNA to be loved by us."

So when Clarke is visiting Murphy at work one day and a young girl is brought in after her mother had overdosed, she called Bellamy right away. She could feel it in her heart that she was meant to be that little girl's mother.

Madi's father had bailed in them when she was three years old and since then her mom had fallen heavily into drugs and men leading to her death. She left behind the now twelve-year-old alone with no other family members.

The adoption process didn't take nearly as long as it didn't most couples since she had the same caseworker that Octavia once had. She was more than pleased e to see that not only were they married now, but that they were the ones who wanted to adopt Madi. She even wrote them a letter of recommendation to the judge to help their case.

Madi had to be slowly introduced into their lives before they could temporarily foster her to make sure they'd be a good fit to be her parents. She immediately took to Clarke and followed her around everywhere. It was harder for her to connect with Bellamy when so many men had come into her life and walked right on out in no time at all. When she realized that Bellamy wasn't going anywhere, that he wouldn't just leave her, she warmed up to him. Of course, it had all worked out and four months later it was official.

"Congratulations Madi, you are officially a member of the Blake family." Judge Indra Porter announced with a smile on her face. Madi was instantly sandwiched between Bellamy and Clarke, all three with tears streaming down their faces.  

Raven and Zeke were the next to get married and shortly after they opened their own web design business. It took off far better than anyone could have guessed it would. Eventually, they were able to open up two more offices.

Murphy and Emori followed their lead and got married while on vacation a few months later, extending their stay to make it a honeymoon. When they finally returned, Emori had a little baby bump showing. She was close to being halfway through her pregnancy and just decided to be spontaneous before they told anyone else. Grayson Lee Murphy was born a month early and spent a week in the NICU. 

Abby and Marcus finally decided it was now or never and announced their engagement. However, Abby could never be simple, she could never just have a backyard wedding. She wanted to get married on the beaches of Bora Bora next to the beautiful water. They paid for their family and friends to spend the whole week and no one was more excited than Madi.

"I've never been anywhere like this before and I get to be in the actual wedding!" Madi exclaimed one afternoon dancing around the living room.

It had been almost a year since Madi's adoption was final and they had been trying to figure out the perfect way to celebrate, but nothing seemed good enough, special enough. Clarke glanced over at Bellamy who was watching the dancing girl with the softest expression. "So, Madi, we've kind of been thinking on an idea. In a few weeks, it will be the one year anniversary of your adoption and we thought we could go on vacation somewhere."

The younger girls face lit up more than it already was. "Really? That would be so amazing! Where are we going?"

Bellamy smiled at her, the excitement clear I'm his eyes. "Anywhere you want to go."

"Rome! Can we go to Rome, please!" Madi didn't think twice about where she was choosing. Seeing Rome had always been a dream for her, especially in the last year, but dreams didn't always come true for her. "All those stories you told me when my nightmares would wake me up, the ones about the Gods and Goddesses. There's also a museum we could go to, Bellamy."

"Absolutely honey."

They had never forced her to call them mom or dad, it was always whatever she was comfortable with. They knew she had been through more than any child should have to go through and had no intentions of pushing her into it. If she only ever called them Clarke and Bellamy that would be okay.

On the night of the one year anniversary, after a long, exhausting day in Rome, when Madi walked out of her room to tell them goodnight with an "I love you, Mom, I love you Daddy. Goodnight." To say that was the best feeling either of them had ever felt would be an understatement.

When Madi started high school the following year, she absolutely loved having both of her parents at school with her,  even enjoyed being in their classes. She wasn't the best when it came to art, but she more than excelled at history.

Madi also loved her niece, Haven, and the toddler absolutely adored her, Grayson was no different. She'd choose to spend time with the two of them over almost anything else. The day she finally asked Clarke why her and Bellamy never had a child of their own, Clarke didn't lie to her.

"Well, a few months before I met you, the doctor told me that it was highly unlikely that I'd ever be able to conceive a baby, much less carry that baby to term."

Madi snuggled up to Clarke the way only children can do. "I hope they're wrong. I would love to have a little brother or sister. Maybe even both."

"It would be nice, but Madi, you are our child. Regardless of who gave birth to you, you are our daughter and that's never going to change."

A few months later, Clarke had talked Lincoln into moving the gallery into a larger building so they could start bringing in more of the local artwork. While moving some of the heavier pieces from the old building to the new one, Clarke's foot found its way under a falling metal daisy. _Of course!_ Although Clarke tried to convince him, Lincoln insisted she go to the hospital and get it checked out.

"Bellamy will have my head if I let you continue working instead of finding out if it's broken or not." Lincoln patted her on the shoulder and laughed.

The emergency room visit took a ridiculously long time. After having blood drawn, peeing into a cup, and having her foot twisted and poked Clarke was laying in the bed trying to work in a quick nap. Between work, grading assignments, and moving the gallery she had been so exhausted lately. Unfortunately, that was the moment when the doctor loudly barged into the room.

"How far along are you, Mrs. Blake?" He asked without ever looking up from her chart.

"How far along am I? What do you mean? I'm not pregnant, I just came to make sure my foot wasn't broken."

With a sigh, the doctor laid her chart on the counter and finally looked up at her. "Okay, we'll draw some more blood and do another test. A false negative is pretty common, but a false positive is incredibly rare. When was your last period?"

"Uh, a few months ago, but I've been really stressed lately so I didn't think anything about it."

After one hour, two vials of blood, an ultrasound, and a visit from her mother, Clarke found out that not only was she pregnant, but she was already 15 weeks pregnant. As excited as her mother was, she made Abby promise not to say anything to anyone until she could tell Bellamy and Madi. With the ultrasound pictures in hand, Clarke went home to make a plan.

"I have a present for the two of you." She motioned Bellamy and Madi to sit on the couch in front of her.

"A present?" The 14-year-old asked, confused. "What for?"

Without saying a word, Clarke handed an envelope to each of them and waited as they began opening them. They both impatiently pulled out the square paper and looked at each other, surprise clear on their faces.

"Is this what I think it is?" Bellamy returned to staring at the image of a small baby.

"I'm going to be a big sister?" Madi excitedly wrapped her arms around her mother. " I'm so happy you're pregnant, mom!"

With tears in his eyes, Bellamy pulled his girls into a bear hug. "I love you both so much!"

6 months later, Clarke gave birth to an 8lbs 11oz baby boy named Augustus Jacob Blake. She had Madi holding her hand on one side and Bellamy on the other side supporting her. Madi was even able to help deliver her brother with the guidance of grandma Abby and Grandpa Marcus.

Standing there holding his newborn son and watching his beautiful wife and daughter sleeping in the hospital bed, Bellamy couldn't have been happier or more thankful for his family. Sometimes there are moments when you know things will never be the same, moments his mother said he would never forget. Bellamy knew the second Clarke told him she was in love with him 8 years ago and set them on this path would always be one of those moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. I hope you liked the ending. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and any comments and kudos are appreciated!


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